High School Revenge (WIP) (2nd chapter DONE, 18 Sep)

Hey guys.

I’ve been reading choice of games ?books? for some years now and decided I’d like to write a story of my own. I came up with a comedy-ish drama story. The idea came after I watched the Count of Monte Cristo and thought that a game where we plan the revenge from start to finish could be really cool. My story goes something like this:

When the MC was 11 years old, at a school dance on Valentine’s day, he/she was humiliated and betrayed by his friends and colleagues. 7 years later, MC comes back a new man/woman and is ready to get his revenge by getting under the skin of his targets, without them knowing who MC is, and planning the best way to crush them.

There will be 8 main targets and possible ROs. Right now I plan to use only relations stats to limit the MC’s choices because I’ve gotten sick by the whole “making the same choice based on your best stat” situation I find in most of the games lately.


Link to demo: https://dashingdon.com/go/2582 ~27k words


1st chapter ~8k words
2nd chapter ~19k words

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Are you kidding me?

With so few stats, how can I possibly min-max the living daylight out of the game? You do not understand my need for stats, the more the better

But on a more serious note, I think a little change can be refreshing if done properly
Not that I’m advocating undermining stats in anyway, I’m just that compulsive about min-max-ing

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just curious , what is with the ‘you play as a kid’ WIP popping up ?

and that sound like carrie no ?

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I’m not usually interested in revenge stories, but I’m looking forward to how the comedy part of the story will play out. It’s an uncommon combination.

Do you mean the targets are also the ROs? Now that’s interesting.

I won’t comment about the stats thing, but good luck with your project! :blush:

Ehem.

I’m sorry I can’t help it, but what is your problem with them? You don’t like kids? I could say the same for all the medieval, superhero, or supernatural stories that there are lots of them (not that I don’t like some of them).

I will argue that there aren’t enough stories about children.

For the record, the description states that you’ll play as an 18 year old. I wouldn’t call that a “kid” exactly.

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Sounds interesting! Looking forward to playing a super bitter MC who’s unlucky enough to fall for the one person who hurt them the most. :joy:

I’m already curious how exactly our MC will be able to take revenge on their targets. Will it be one big revenge plan that hits all eight targets simultaneously or eight different plans that unfold separately? Could be very, very interesting. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Hate to be that person but it sounds like a threat like “GASP! how dare you not wanting to play a person of different age than a children you heartless monster?!” But I do agreed it would be cool if the mc is eighteen, because I know some few high school students being eighteen and in their senior year.

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My mother always said ‘I like kids , I like my kids . I don’t like others peoples kids’ lol . So , personally…yes and no . some kids are quiet and nice , and some are horrible monsters .

And no, I dont have kids and never planning on having any . I do have a puppy right now . 3 months old…which is like a 5 years old toddler . Teething , all she does is yap , bite and refuse to sleep and wake me up at 4am lol

Didn’t say I have an issue with the story , was just curious . The only con I see is being a kid mean you are limited in some stuff you can do . That’s about it . For exemple , if you are 10 years old…you can’t have a story where you drive a truck . Or fly a plane .

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@May_Smith I am not saying that. But yes, it’s on me that it felt a little personal to me.

@E_RedMark Oh, okay. It just sounded different to me. I get what you mean.

Not in a realistic setting, maybe (I have those things in my story). Personally, I find it one of the appeals of having a kid MC, doing things you don’t expect them to do.


I’m sorry if I offended you or anything.

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not offended lol just remember , that not everyone has to like kids . Just like everything else…I guess .

Yeah , I did play one choiceofgames with a kid detective . That was nice actually .

so my turn to ask you something : is it easier to write a kid MC in realistic setting or harder ?

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Yeah… I wasn’t saying that everyone has to like them. That’s their opinion.


I’m not sure if we should be discussing this here, but that depends on the story and the writer. I’m inclined to say it’s harder, but then you have the question: “What’s a kid doing in a fantasy world?” It’s pretty much the same thing in a realistic setting, the only difference is you have fantasy elements to play around with. They still shouldn’t do things that they shouldn’t do, but they can do them.

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As someone who always loves a good revenge story, I’m excited to see what you can do.

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Now this sounds like it could be a revenge story on par with the one form Revenge of the Nerds in that it is about the best form of revenge (in my mind) in that you don’t hurt people but you have the satisfaction in knowing that you outsmarted them and made them feel a taste of what you felt. If this is done right you’ll be looking at one very happy reader in the form of yours truly. Best of luck in your work

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@kyros I’m thinking about a story where you can do anything that you want without basing the choices on your stats
@E_RedMark You play as a kid only for the first chapter. Most of the story will happen when the MC is 17-18
@feurio I plan to do a big moment where you take your revenge on whom you decide simultaneously
@MindightWatcher You’re right, the MC will mainly try to make them feel what he felt when they humiliated him, but I plan to let you decide how to take the revenge

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That’s why it’s the best form of revenge. Where’s the satisfaction in getting revenge if the person you got it on isn’t around to stew in it to know that you outsmarted them or even better that they don’t know you did it but someone did and that lack of knowledge will torment them worse than anything else

I will be eating a cold dish while reading…

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What would the revenge be like killing or prancing what sort of revenge

This is a bit young to go berserk on the revenge for me, now if it was senior year (that is what Americans call the last year of both high school and college, correct?) or prom and the mc came back a changed college senior that’d be much more intriguing to me. If it happened to me as an eleven year old just convincing my parents to move and getting some new friends, maybe therapy ought to do it.

Well I do like a good revenge tale every now and then it is just that the age of the mc at the first incident here doesn’t quite do it for me.

I think it would work better if the first chapter is maybe 16-18 and the rest is near the end of college 24-25 or so.

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Sounds like I can finally be mean… so I love it.
It’s refreshing to not have to neccisarily play a “good character”. Though I do hope you’ll give more of a variety in terms of moral choices. Like the character deciding taking revenge wasn’t the best course of action.

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Omg can I Please romance the most horrible , mean, rude bully from my past. I don’t even want revenge. I just love villains.

OOOO OOOO WAIT

How about at first I wanted revenge and decided to break their heart but then accidentally fell in love.

Enemies to friends to lovers, my ultimate romance.

“My flame of hatred turned into love.” :heart: :fire:

I think I need help.

Maybe.

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