Your points make good sense.
[spoiler]One thing I’ve noticed about Emily already: Something that happens if your character is on really good terms with her (70 plus relationship I think.)
Anyways, if your character pursues Steel Aeronaut overseas, asks Emily for a vacation to do it, and your relationship is good enough, she will enthusiastically approve the vacation and ask where you are going, to which the character will honestly tell her. I can see this scenario leading Emily to figuring out the character’s secret identity, romance or not, if the character goes directly to Mongolia and tells Emily so.
Example Hypothetical Outcome:
News Report: ‘Our top powered story tonight! New York based hero (Hero Name) has defeated and captured the infamous super-villain Steel Aeronaut in Mongolia!’
Emily: “Oh, thank God that villain is finally in custody. Maybe I’ll be able to get that night at the ball out of my head… Wait, oh no, (civilian name) is on vacation in Mongolia! I hope they weren’t hurt… Wait… Wait a minute… Why would (civilian name) go to Mongolia in the first place?”
Emily: “Hold on, (civilian name) goes to Mongolia, and (Hero Name) ends up fighting their nemesis, the Steel Aeronaut, there right after? Is that just a coincidence? Come to think of it, I didn’t see (civilian name) at all that night at the ball after (Hero Name) showed up to fight Aeronaut’s minions. That’s two coincidences! And (civilian name) left work without warning the same day (Hero Name) fought Aeronaut at that bank! That’s three coincidences, and that’s too many to ignore! Oh my God, this explains everything! (Civilian Name) is (Hero Name)!! [/spoiler]
I could be wrong, but this seems to be an interesting hypothetical.