It sounds really cool, especially since I love games related to the courts, royals and nobility. There are many ROs and they all seem interesting.
I even started to imagine what my MC would be…
Mum’s great disappointment, lol
Anyway, good luck with the project <3
Hi! Seems like an interesting game, however I hate to break it to you but this thread will probably have to be closed. That is because moderators usually temporarily close the game threads that do not contain a link to the game. Just wanted to give you a little heads up about it and wish you good luck. I’m looking forward to seeing how your game goes.
Alternatively, it could be moved to the Interest Check thread, at least until the demo is available.
Big ups gamer this concept sounds mad good.
Is the similarity to Dagmar from Disenchanted intentional or a coincidence?
I haven’t heard of this Dagmar from Disenchanted before, is it just the name you think is similar? Or the plot? Because stories about illegitimate children of kings and ambitious mothers wanting to elevate themselves have happened before in fantasy and medieval stories, so, I’m assuming it’s a coincidence. It’s like saying a story’s similar to Game of Thrones because there’s characters aspiring to be king or queen in it.
Great story this far! Cant wait to see where it goes!
How old is MC? If they are no longer a child, they should be able to make their own decisions about their future and possibly refuse to live at court?
Depends on how they were raised. Its possible the MC is so used to listening to their mothers orders and following her dreams its all they know.
Well that was an exciting start! I enjoy how you write dialogue, very well paced! I’ll be looking forward to seeing where this project goes :3
Off to an interesting start, I’d say! Really looking forward to more ^^
There were some grammar issues- Would you like me to post them on this thread or privately?
It’s short but I really love the plot you have in mind so much. There had been a few similar ideas before with the evil greedy mother wanting the throne but sadly the authors never got to finish it. So, I hope this one will sail well. Super excited for your next update!!
Ya a very interesting concept and I can’t wait to see more and learn more about your siblings. Seems the likely heir is less than ideal? Should be interesting as you try to take the throne (or not, ya know, do it)
It looks good so far! I’m looking forward to the rest of it
The story looks good so far but im curious will there be like a scheme where you can ally with foreign kingdoms or will it only take place in our kingdom?
Ps. Sorry if im misspelling some words english is not my first lengue.
Well I’m going to do what I normally do do a balance of what is right for the kingdom and what I believe is good in a weird way I have to play a power grab and I’m thinking it over should I follow my mother’s advice being the king or queen or find a way to make my trying to get the people support in a different way not being a ruler it does not mean I King or queen is the rightful head of leadership they just get a bigger Target on their back I’m really trying to think outside the box here
Hold up, you state female mc can get pregnant, so if I hit on the demon does that mean I can have a cambion as a child??
Note: You seem to use apostrophes instead of quotations frequently in dialogue I have changed some parts of sentences where I think it sounds better, but ofc you do not need to use them!
First 2 pages
- He stood dripping wet in your mother’s study and kept saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry ”, as she sobbed , then cursed , then paced in fury.
- " Er- what I meant to say was it was over quick. He hardly felt a thing, I can promise you." He stands awkwardly by the fire as your mother curses some more and sips (her?) tea.
- “(MC) needs to leave as soon as possible , then.”
- Jeska nods, seemingly on the same page with your mother. “I came for that exact reason. I have friends in Port Saint Agon ; you will need to flee the country and they’ll take you as far as you need to go.”
- He interrupts again , before laughing
- “One of his (Javid’s) children is a lunatic…” (‘them’ wasn’t clear on who it was, previously thought it was the allies instead of the King’s children ><’)
- “You’re already at the bridges , I fear…”