Guenevere (WIP)

And wow, I think I finally responded to everyone? That was a lot of stuff, so I’m sorry if I missed anyone – if I did, please post again!

I’m really happy that there seems to be an even mix of Guens choosing each of the three branches. I was worried that everyone would want to go to the same place, and the other ones wouldn’t be appealing. But it seems like there will be people playing all three branches (and some looking for Morgana and some not), with very good reasons for the choices they make. That’s super-encouraging.

Now I just wish I could get this monster Frankmarch branch finished, so I can start on the Camelot one!

@jeantown I only had a doubt with my 41 leadership and 19 dark magic could I fake the spy proofs, to make the french queen than the Saxons has something to do with the sheep illness. That would be a great point against roman saxons in a future.

@poison_mara High leadership will also be very useful in Frankmarch, if you chose to speak to the Queen’s Council – in fact, it may be difficult to convince them without it. Dark magic maybe not so much, unless I can add an option to assassinate someone… (which I’m still mulling over; the Frankmarch branch is way too complicated already (27,000 words!), and I feel like I have to stop myself somewhere or I am literally never going to finish it).

My goodness! The sheer amount of content more than makes up for the wait! I have to say, I just love how you give the player the option to create a very complex, real character. Most games - and I say this knowing that some of my favorite games do just that - summarize the MC into “the charming one” or “the angry one” or “the valorous one”… but your story just turns that on its head. It’s completely possible to have a Guenevere that is ambitious and manipulative, but truly cares for those around her and worries about their feelings and safety.

I’m a little overwhelmed by the sheer amount of choices, actually, and I’ve had to pace around before deciding what my Guenevere would do.

Now, to the bugs! The situation with the character I’m currently playing is that she had Sir Bretta execute Hrothulf, and then appealed to Arthur’s sence of mercy to avoid her exile. However…

  • When I talk to Duchess Tilda, she implies that I was the one to execute Hrothulf. When the narrative mentions Sir Bretta, it talks about how her exile has ended.

  • When I talk to Meligaunt, he also implies the same thing. However, the narrative makes no mention of Sir Bretta’s exile.

I would expect Sir Bretta’s exile not to be mentioned. I’m also not sure if you made a choice to shift the blame of the execution via Sir Bretta on Guenevere, or if my save is just buggy.

On a lesser note, I’ve been a little bothered by the use of “thanks.” It’s really not a big deal, and I’m probably being silly, but my immersion always takes a hit when I see this kind of casual language in a medieval-inspired game. It’s probably just me, though, and I’ll certainly survive.

@trinnie Good to know the content makes up for the wait! I imagine it will be the same with the second half. I always hope that people will make Guens whose personalities are complex enough that they find themselves making decisions they didn’t expect. When that happens, I feel like I’ve done something right. :smile: And I’m also happy when people really hesitate over a choice – also makes me feel like I’m doing my job.

Hm, it does seem that both Tilda and Meligaunt have insufficient information about Hrothulf’s death. I think it’s just that in their minds, Bretta is Guen’s follower, so Bretta was simply the hand by which Guen enacted her will. Not a bug per se; thy just don’t know any better. I could add an option for Guen to clarify what happened.

As for mentioning Bretta’s exile, it should get mentioned when Guen looks over at Maris and Bretta. I just checked, and it’s in the code whether Guen is talking to Meligaunt or Tilda. If you get there again and it’s not mentioned, could you let me know? Thanks!

As for language choices, the writing is full of very mild PDE slang like “okay,” and that’s deliberate. I really despise the fake “forsooth” language some people use when they’re trying to sound medieval. People in medieval England didn’t sound that way to each other; they spoke Old English or Middle English or French or Latin, and they used casual words and slang words (in those languages) just as much as we do. I try to use different formal/casual registers in different situations, like the way Grimald talks vs. the way Arthur and Lancelot and Morgana talk to each other (vs how they talk at the council in part 1), and I try not to include super-jarringly Present-Day English slang (no swag or bling :smile: ), but I do want the language to sound as natural (and as casual, in the relevant contexts) as it would for anyone speaking their native language. I actually find “okay” more jarring than “thanks,” but I put up with it because it’s become such a basic word in PDE that I have a hard time writing natural-sounding dialogue without it!

I really enjoy this wip (despite it being gender locked to female) but I found one typo I’d like to point out:

“The chaos has only gotten worse as people argue with each other and the false Gueneveres give conficting commands and pleas for help.”

It says “conficting”, but it should be “conflicting”.

Overall, the writing is great, and I love the way in which you made Arthur seem so frustrating with the sheep.

I love the second book. I played it once but I can tell it is wonderful already I loved all of especially when that guy ( can’t spell his name right so not gonna try) hurt my dog I loved the option of screaming “Nobody Hurts My Dog!!!” And I went pyscho on them :smile:

@fire Thank you! I haven’t run spellcheck on part 2 yet, so I’m just glad there weren’t tons more of those. I’ve fixed it in my local version, so it should change on the next update. Glad Arthur was appropriately frustrating. :smile:

@Chriswa27 Oh, I’m so glad someone appreciated that part! :smiley: I hoped that it would feel cathartic. Thanks for playing!

“Can I ask you a favor?”

“Probably not, but I know you’re going to ask anyway.”

LOLOLOL xD

Also, I haven’t read through all the comments, so forgive me if this has already been suggested, but wouldn’t it give book 2 more agency if we didn’t know that Meligaunt was going to kidnap us?

“Sometimes the things Merlin says make sense. Sometimes they only make sense later. Sometimes they never make sense.”

Hehehe!


“Oh–”
“That’s–”
“Well, he’s–”
“Perhaps–”
I don’t say anything.

Best choices ever. :’)

Path chosen and why: Go to Camelot, because “lead the army” plays to the strengths of my Guen, Morgana should be able to take care of herself, and Arthur’s well being is of supreme importance - both to Guen personally (who loves Arthur) and to her in her sense of her priorities (Britain, then personal feelings).

What would make my Guen feel more powerful: Content with things as they are. Guen is having to respond to something beyond her control, so relatively limited agency is okay as long as that lasts.

If it became a regular thing that would be a problem, but no suggestions for improvement seem necessary.

Other:

Sheep. Seriously? I’m playing Nice Guen to test this (May experiment later to see how not-quite-as-nice to Arthur Guen feels), so my reaction is a little more muted than I’d like, but I think you covered all the important stuff as far as what kind of tone to take with/over Morgana’s brother, who clearly was having an idiot moment as far as I (the person playing this, not Guen) is concerned.

So, I think that might be a bit more than I would personally like. I like how it got used storywise, though. Attack sheep are both funny and - within the context of “imagining being in Guen’s head” kinda creepy.

Definitely worth waiting for.

“Of course Arthur doesn’t think so. Arthur would hand the castle keys to an invading army if they said they only wanted to offer redecorating advice.”

OHHHH!

Actually, now that I’m getting further into book 2, it’s really disappointing that I already know I’m gonna get kidnapped. :frowning:

Let us see. My Guenevere continued building her reputation for intelligence and responsibility, with kindness increasing a bit as well. From the start, she was suspicious of Meligaunt and told Arthur it was not prudent to have him in the castle. She did as he asked and spoke with Meligaunt, and she did answer that Hrothulf’s death making the Saxons back off was what she had intended, though that and Meligaunt asking about her father selling her off certainly only made her more suspicious towards him.

Her feeling for Arthur are the same, being aromantic and asexual, she does not love him but still sees him as a friend and is rather fond of him; sometimes she wonders if she might be too indulgent towards him, as with the sheep incident, but my Guenevere, ever prim, proper, and formal, has always been a very reserved sort, especially when expressing disagreement and disapproval. She simply tried to prevent Arthur from doing anything too stupid. With the sheep, Guenevere simply asked Arthur if he asked any sheep farmers whether keeping such animals in the castle was a good idea and reminded him they had servants who probably knew more about catching sheep than them. She used light magic to calm the sheep and let Arthur answer Morgana about what was going on. She ultimately had to tell Arthur that having the sheep in the castle was probably only making the diplomatic situation worse.

Meligaunt being in her room only confirmed her prior suspicions that he was plotting something, and she searched the room for what was missing and any possible spells. She spoke to Morgana about it but decided against asking Morgana to check for spells, given how exhausted she was. She was as always restrained when later talking with Arthur about the debacle, simply insisting that they search Meligaunt’s room and asking him not trust Meligaunt. After that, they sat on the edge of the bed and talked about negotiations with Frankland until they fell asleep.

She helped Lancelot by using both dark magic and light magic, thus allowing him to wound Meligaunt. Later, she reluctantly agreed to the oath charm to be allowed to escape in exchange for working for peace between Albion and Frankland. As she figures it, while war can strengthen a nation, the time is not right, nor is it the right opponent when Frankland is being manipulated by Cornelia and the treacherous minister. Besides, peace, good relations, and trade can strengthen a nation just as much. No, she has a longer game in mind; there will be war, but with the Saxons and Cornelia to settle things once and for all. So, there was no harm in taking the oath; besides, she knows well that while she may not be able to directly violate the oath, if need be, she can bend it so far that it breaks on its own.

Regarding the doppleganger escape plan, I guess my Guenevere’s leadership was not high enough to convince the Guenevere doppleganger to help, so it ultimately settled for Morgana’s doppleganger letting Morgana escape while Guenevere stayed behind. She was considering the risk of letting her dear fae cat, Tristan, go with Meligaunt, but she had just healed him from Meligaunt’s wound, and she was not about to take the risk of Meligaunt harvesting dear Tristan for spell components, so she had him escape, hoping he will able to find her and Morgana later.

Regarding the kissing incident with Lancelot, Guenevere was restrained and understanding. She did not mind him sending the trophies, since it was not inappropriate, and she had actually felt quiet sorrow that he felt so much for her but that she, being aromantic and asexual and married, simply could not reciprocate the way he wanted her to. She let him keep talking, told him she thought the spell had only physical effects, and that she would prefer to find a way to break the spell, ultimately accepting his apology and remarking that he did not ask for it either. Guenevere agreed about being friends with Lancelot, being careful not to touch one another, as that was exactly what she had wanted from the start, being friends without any inappropriate activities. She asked about the trophies, told him she did not mind as it did not violate propriety, and that is was good he found an outlet.

Ultimately, she decided to send Lancelot to help Arthur with Meligaunt while she stayed in Frankland, figuring it best to stop the war before it even starts. Lancelot would be better for martial matters, and Guenevere figures that while she has participated in battles, she is much more suited for the political battlefield. There, she is in her element, playing the game of intrigue, masks within masks, machinations ever weaving. She can do the most good there, even with the language barrier. Time is of the essence, so while she wants to find Morgana, she has to trust that letting Morgana escape will have to suffice for the time being, trusting in her ability to take care of herself, and that hopefully Tristan can find her and Morgana both and get them back together.

How high a leadership will Guenevere need to convince the council? Mine is at about 20, with 11 in light magic, and above 20 in dark magic. Her trust with Arthur and Morgana are both at 19, and her trust with Lancelot has improved to 16.

I just realized Morgana is my sister in law…ooo :sunglasses:

“I can tell my spell is working. The sheep still look disoriented and tired, but they look like they want to do something about it.” Aww. :slight_smile:

“We can try,” he says. “But the situation is complicated. I don’t know if you saw it, but there’s a huge Frankish army sitting on the coast, and I don’t think they’re going to use all those ships and weapons to ask nicely if they can buy some sheep from us.”

I love this story. :slight_smile:

Hello! I’m new here but i’ve been silently playing Guenevere for quite some time now, even going as far as to bookmark your tumblr page to see how the game progress goes. I just wanted to commend you on Guenevere, no story/game has ever had me more excited than this one and i can’t wait for the second half of the book! :slight_smile:

I picked the end branch where my Guen chooses to go back to Camelot to save lives and sends Lancelot off to Michaelsmount whilst also asking him to get the sword.

I found one typo:
There are three ambssadors, each with a substantial number of retainers and attendants.

Curse you, Guenevere, for keeping me up all night. T.T

Ugh…I can’t believe Arthur went after a doppelganger xD…he’s such a dork.

Okay, I just finished book 2. Whoaaaaaaa, this is incredible! Your WIP is my favorite thing ever created by CS, including every published title. :slight_smile: excellent work! I am absolutely torn about what to do with this whole conspiracy! I did choose to go find Morgana, though. Will I then be able to go on one of the other 3 big paths afterwards?

Arthur looks confused. “Is that a problem? I always thought most women preferred the company of other women. All the ladies of the court do. I’d hoped you and Morgana would be friends. It’s not like I expect you to spend all your time with me.”

“No, I mean I prefer women to have sex with.”

“What!?” Arthur looks completely baffled. “How is that even possible? Women can’t have sex with each other. There’s nothing for them to… do!”

Oh…my…gosh…Best scene ever. I can’t stop laughing. I absolutely love this game of yours!

After playing the game through from start to finish quite a few times I’ve come to realize just how different each playthrough feels! Playing my lesbian Guen is so different than my Guen in love with Lance or Arthur. Being kind is different than brave or intelligent. I love it! Top down my favorite game. I think I caught a small typo, but I forgot to copy it. I’ll have to keep an eye out.

Great update, funny and witty. And now you can pork all 3 in one play through :slight_smile:

So lets assume my charachter is:

Having sexy time with arthur and morgana and is in a platonic relationship with lancelot…

How are you gonna write this?

There’s a typo in one of the choices where you first talk to Meligaunt:
“Hello! Have you tried the wine? I beieve Lord Merlin can vouch for its quality.”
‘beieve’ should be ‘believe’
(this is from yesterday, so you may have fixed it already…)

I ended up choosing to do the Frankmarch with Lance, since he knows the language, and I feel a lasting peace would benefit Camelot most in the long run, if it can be achieved. (And if it lasts…)

My fae cat has gone with Meligaunt, I hope he’ll be of some use, since his wound has been (somewhat) healed. I’ve decided Morgana can fend for herself. It’s mentioned in the text that she’s probably seen the army and may be able to get word to Camelot. I hope she managed to make her way there, but who knows…

I made the deal with Grimald, since it would be nice to escape, and I do intend to make peace with the Franks. Although, preferably without Grimald. I’m afraid that deal may come back to bite me…

I ended up doing a second playthrough trying to keep the carrot, since people have been going on about it in this thread. (I originally used it to stab Meligaunt. It was all glowing and everything, how could I resist?)
(hmm, maybe it’ll turn out to be some powerful magical artifact in later parts, or some other fruit or vegetable =P)

Finally, I’ll mention that I’ve really enjoyed playing what you’ve written so far. I enjoy the worldbuilding, and the depth of the characters, they feel so real. I look forward to the rest of it.

@Samuel_H_Young :smiley: I’m thrilled that you’re enjoying the writing/dialogue and the game as a whole. (enough to stay up all night? hope you have some good coffee! :slight_smile: ) I love to hear which lines struck people as good, so thanks for reporting those – makes me very happy. I agree, for a free-standing story it would make more sense to keep the kidnapping a surprise, and let the reader develop their own suspicions about Meligaunt without already knowing. The thing is, Guinevere being kidnapped by Meliagant/Meligrance is a staple of Arthurian legend; like, it happens in pretty much all of the major versions, so anyone who’s read a King Arthur novel is going to be expecting it. So rather than being coy, I decided to make the kidnapping itself (or threat thereof) an initial plot hook, and have the surprises be more in how/why it happens and what happens afterward, and in Meligaunt’s backstory. But it’s a weird and interesting writing exercise, knowing that half your readers are expecting certain things and the other half maybe don’t have any knowledge of Arthurian “canon.” Anyway, if you choose to look for Morgana, you’ll end up on one of the three major branches eventually. Depending on where she went (which depends on whether or not she escaped first), your choice about which major branch may be limited. Thanks for all of your comments! :smile:

@Elfwine Thanks for playing! Good choice re: Camelot. “Sheep. Seriously?” is exactly the reaction I was going for, so I guess that worked. I do feel bad that the first half on its own really makes Arthur look like an idiot. He’s not as dumb as he acts in this part, and he’ll acknowledge his mistakes at the end and learn from them.

@Gadriel Thank you for the detailed recap! It’s helpful for me to get inside one Guen’s personality for that long. It seems like you’re playing her very consistently. I think your Guen will do well in Frankmarch. Honestly, I haven’t decided yet exactly how much leadership she’ll need when talking to the council, but I think it will be a mid-range gate – so she shouldn’t have to have it maxed out, but it will need to be substantial. 20 might just be about right.

@exist (aweome usename btw) Thanks for playing and for posting! :smiley: I’m really glad you’re enjoying the game, and hope you’ll like the rest of part 2. Thanks also for reporting the typo, which is now fixed locally and will be live on the next update. Much appreciated!

@FoxalypticWorld I’m so relieved that that scene seems to be going over well! I was a bit nervous about it, because I wanted Arthur to seem clueless without making it offensive somehow. I’m glad you liked it. :slight_smile: Also very glad you’re appreciating the difference with different Guens. Until the second half of part 2, it’s not the branchiest story, so a satisfying replay really depends on being able to imagine a different personality for Guen. Thanks for your comments, and do let me know if you spot the typo again!

@Pepper Thanks! Indeed you can, though Morgana may have some things to say about it later if you do. :stuck_out_tongue:

@Player Depends on the exact nature of the platonic relationship with Lancelot. Morgana may not appreciate Guen having a romantic relationship with Lancelot, even if there’s no sex. Lancelot may be a little hurt that Guen would be willing to have sex with Morgana but not with him – though maybe he won’t find out about what’s going on with Morgana if Guen doesn’t tell him, and also there are some obvious reasons Guen could give (no risk of pregnancy with Morgana, and same-sex affairs are not considered treason). Arthur can just be blissfully unaware of anything.

@Barrier_Break Yikes; thank you! Fixed locally, will be live with next update. Lancelot will be very helpful on the Frankmarch path. I’m glad to know that someone actually chose the option to send the pet with Meligaunt! That can have its advantages, depending on other choices/circumstances. The carrot will continue to be useful in certain situations. :slight_smile: I’m delighted that you like the world and characters, and I hope you’ll enjoy the rest when it’s finished!

Okay, and now I’m off to a very long day of work, so if anybody else posts anything and I don’t reply until much later (or tomorrow), it’s not because I’m not excited to hear from you. :smiley:

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