Guenevere (WIP)


#21

@Chriswa27 Thank you!!! Knowing that people like the game definitely makes me want to keep writing! smile


#22

The code for Choice of Romance is here https://www.choiceofgames.com/romance/scenes/
Specifically https://www.choiceofgames.com/romance/scenes/startup.txt then https://www.choiceofgames.com/romance/scenes/OpeningScene.txt and https://www.choiceofgames.com/romance/scenes/ComingOfAgeParty.txt

I'd say consider the possibility of a gender switch, especially if it's something that you enjoy. Note, it is something I've thought about in regards to my own writing and I don't always like to use it. My first game had a set gender protagonist because that was the whole point.

So if you want to tell just Guenevere's story then go ahead. I would suggest getting your first draft down first without worrying about pronouns and all of that. It's easy enough to go over everything after and implement changes.

If you'll remember from Choice of Romance, they replaced the gender dynamic instead with an age one. They also used life and death mages to simulate Henry's desire for a specific type of heir. And there were wealth/station factors in play too.

Choice of Broadsides just did a straight flip. Women in the navy, delicate blossoms of men at home waiting to be married. The Choice of Broadsides method would be easiest I think.

Oh I'm glad you're taking into consideration magic forced love spells being problematic. They really are. It does sound an interesting take on things.


#23

Totally awesome!!!!! I love it!!!! Good Luck with the whole project!!!! ^:)^


#24

First of all... I enjoyed playing your game a lot. smiley
Since I played Choice of Romance I always wanted to play another romance/love related game so I'm more than happy that you came up with such an amazing game idea.^^
I have to say that i liked to have so many choices. It made me feel more connected with my character. smile
But I guess that's just my personal opinion. smile
Anyway keep up the great work and I can't wait to play more of it. smiley


#25

Yay! I'm so happy to hear that you like it, @Draco and @FinalFantasyFreak! Thank you! This makes me want to keep working on it as much as I can.


#26

@FairyGodfeather: Wow; I had no idea those were available! Thank you so much. Now that I see the genderswapping in action, it doesn't seem so intimidating.

I think you're right that for now I should just keep working on my draft and see where it goes, but the more I think about Lancelot as a woman, the more I want to do it...

And yes, the love spell is there because it's a recurring motif in the Arthurian tradition (Tristan and Isolde, for example), but both Lancelot and Guenevere will eventually recognize it for what it is, and will have various options for what to do about it. So that kind of fits with a theme of overcoming a seeming lack of agency.

Thanks again for all of your help!


#27

I LOVE this game! If I were you I wouldn't change a single thing! Out of curiosity, how long did it take you to write this?


#28

Thank you, @Dark_Bear2899; I so glad you like it! I've been working on it off and on for well over a year, but I spend most of my writing time on non-interactive novels. This is just what I do whenever I hit a block with the novels. That's part of why I don't know how long it will take me to finish this (but it will probably be awhile). I honestly have no idea how quickly or slowly I'd work if I was only writing IF! I do suspect that spacing it out and interspersing it with novel-writing improves the quality, because I don't get burned out on it.

Maybe someday I'll try to write some novels and IF that are connected (I'm dimly aware that the ChoiceScript folks are hoping for more of that), but I'm still developing my writing skills right now, and I also have a job that keeps me pretty busy. In the meantime, all of this positive feedback is making me feel really motivated to keep working on Guenevere!


#29

@jeantown: Can I just say I love this game!:D I've been a fan of medieval times and this definitely gets me. It does remind me of Choice of Romance but only by so little. Can't wait for more! Hope it doesn't take you too long . You have my have my full attention! ^:)^


#30

Thanks, @Miki! I really enjoyed Choice of Romance, so the comparison is flattering. smile I hope we'll see even more romance and/or medieval-setting IF in the future!


#31

I'm not done yet, but I really like this game! I also like all the different options and possibilities, sk my vote would be for not changing that. ^_^


#32

Overall, a good read. A few niggles which you could improve on, however...

"Good Goddess, Lance, go away!"

The Britons were Christians by that point. King Arthur's court would have been especially devout, particularly in the Geoffrey of Monmouth versions. Indeed, even the prophetic Merlin was Christian, - despite the portrayal of him as a druidic pagan by some later authors, who took severe liberties.

This "Goddess" nonsense features later in your story, at several points, as well... Arthur, in particular, fought adamantly against such paganism. It's positive inclusion is downright strange.

"He's pardoning them all. Probably right this minute."

That's... a new take. Not really the sort of man Arthur was, from what I've seen.

"The wedding takes place in the Great Henge. People say that Merlin built the Henge long ago. Certainly it must have taken a great sorcerer, a brilliant engineer, or an army of giants to raise the massive stones."

A nice touch.

As an aside, in the account given by ol' Galfridus the stones were brought over from Ireland... And, as it turns out, they really, historically, were, - and from the same area described in the story. Just one of those interesting little snippets that questions just where the 'pseudo' comes into the pseudohistory. Same problem we have with Herodotus, really, albeit with far less literary flare.

Although it would not be called the "Great Henge," because that word is a Saxon development. Geoffrey called the site the "Mount of Ambrius."

"Both have their hair cut short and wear formal tunics and leggings rather than dresses."

Careful now. You can get burned at the stake for that.

"the small but ancient Order of Boudica."

Oh no no no. That makes no sense whatsoever. Boudicca was absolutely detested by the Roman historians, - who give us the only account anybody has of the woman. To suggest she would be venerated in a knightly order is absurd enough, but an order of chivalry?! This was a mass-murdering, city-burning dishonourable maniac who sliced women's breasts off so they could sew them into their mouths!

If I might be so bold, perhaps the Order of Gwendolen would be more appropriate, for a female military leader, who features within the Arthurian tradition... sort of.

Also, this tale references fae at numerous points. This should be rather striking, for the Anglo Saxons (who really did most of the work on the fae, in Britain) found them to be terrifying, whimsical psychopaths. I would imagine describing someone as having a "white beard and glint of fae" to be more than a little off-putting.

"It's better that way. Can you imagine if they'd made me marry some fourteen-year-old? This is weird enough already."

That sentiment is rather anachronistic. I don't even think it is properly endorsed in the present day.

"Merlin must use this space for observing the stars; I see an armillary sphere, a celestial globe, and a couple of strange metal tubes whose purpose I don't know."

I should never be reminded of Orgone-fuelled Cloudbusters in an Arthurian story!

"her husband Hrothulf's Romano-Saxon troops would never fight as loyally for our king as would native British troops"

Remember, at this point, Arthur would be ruling over a somewhat Romano-British land. Whilst Rome did exist as an independent entity to the Kingdom of Britain, the connection between the Roman Emperors and the Kings of Britain was not forgotten; Arthur was succeeded by a Constantine, after all.

"Lancelot's armor is in the Gaulish style, but he wears the sword-and-lily crest of Avalon."

A little peculiar. Wouldn't the heraldry of Avalon be to do with Apples, not the more Frankish development of the lily (originally the toad)?

"In my ideal world, Guen, there is no king, because the world doesn't need a king. Or a queen, either, I suppose..."

What.


#33

@Drazen Seriously? The game's not required to be historically accurate - in fact, I'd like it a lot less if the author made some of the changes you're pointing out. It's the writer's own retelling of the King Arthur story, not the strict 'this is what happened' scenario. It would be a really boring game otherwise.

Maybe it's just me, but I think the game is great just the way it is, and I hope the author doesn't decide to change things...


#34

Thanks for all the feedback, @Drazen! This story is meant to be pure fantasy, inspired by the many, many retellings of the Arthurian legend from Geoffrey to the present day. Arthurian legend has a life of its own now, and while I love speculating on the historicity, I'm making absolutely no claims to that here. Pure fantasy.

If someone does manage to write a historically authentic Arthur IF, they'll have my extreme admiration!


#35

@OtherGrimm Yes, seriously. I don't think any of the issues I've pointed out are, in the slightest, likely to reduce the quality of the work.

And you will, I'm sure, notice that I never criticised the authors telling of the story of King Arthur, merely the cosmetic qualities of the setting in general. So don't fret.

Edit: @jeantown No problem. But when it comes to King Arthur especially, I always find the fantasy to be a lot sweeter, when it accords, - albeit in a rather liberal manner, - to little factoids. Take, for example, an earlier case from Geoffrey of Monmouth, where a Roman Legion was defeated and beheaded, near London. Pure fantasy, of course, but that doesn't explain why in modern times we found all those skulls in the riverbed...


#36

@Drazen hmm I thought King Arthur's time was on the cusp of Christianity - sort of a syncretistic Christian Druidism. Although I guess knights themselves are more of a Christiany/Crusader thing.


#37

Loved the story, and personally I loved the number of choices too. A character-centric story that works well, gives the feel of a fairytale, allowing for widely different choices that affects things, yet set within the same story path. Well done! =D>

And write it as you see fit, every other author has - including the first one to ever mention any of the characters (some of which were not even connected originally). Create your own, that is what it is all about, and keep at it, hope you get to make all seven parts! :-bd


#38

Oh I'm loving this game so far.

You're breaking into Merlin's tower? On your wedding night? Well we have a key...


#39

That was amazing. I felt sorry for Lancelot, because Guenivere is devoted to the king. I enjoyed all the characters. I really, really liked my kitty cat, although for some reason when he turned into the shadow beast, I thought he'd gotten possessed and was going to attack me! I liked all the personality stats too, it made her seem indepth.


#40

Will you be gender-switching Lancelot as a female Knight? Perhaps the sole female Knight?

Or will you be gender-switching Lancelot in that Lancelot's a woman posing as a male knight and no one knows her secret?

And what happens to Galahad in that case? And the whole Elaine mess for that matter? Does Elaine become Alan, who tricks Lancelot, leaves her pregnant and is forced to conceal it from all?

Love spells are so problematic.

And you can access the code of any game by going to the scenes folder.