Good Intentions (WIP -- Updated 29-August-2018)



[quote=“Takashi_Shin, post:40, topic:43043, full:true”]

I’ve had the urge to write for a while now, but always found an excuse to put it off. I have a full time job and a big family (my wife and I have five daughters), and it was very easy to tell myself I was too busy.

Eventually, one random day I just sat down and started pouring out one of the stories that were buzzing around my brain. I kept going after the first couple pages, and it actually started getting easier rather than harder. Then I figured out the basics of ChoiceScript, made a post on the forum, and here we are. Honestly, I’m excited to see where this all ends up.

I am extremely not a professional writer; the last creative writing I did was 15 or more years ago (a Diablo 2 fanfic of all things, where I gave the characters actual personalities and let those personalities clash while walking through the game’s various acts. It was…not especially good :grimacing:). I’ve always been a huge fan of the noir genre though, so I knew I wanted to tell a story that made me feel a little like the way I felt when watching a beautiful old classic noir flick. That, and being a damn wizard is just freaking cool.


Good evening everyone.

Just a small note, because I often find myself wondering if a WIP I like is still alive, or if the author just abandoned it without a word.

In my case the WIP is still very much alive. Chapter 2 is up to around 18,000 words without code, and is maybe 60% done. Hard for me to tell exactly, as my planning is just a bare bones skeleton of major events, and I fill in the details organically – then re-edit a dozen or so times to make it less horrible.

The goal is to finish chapter 2 by the end of the month and add it to the demo. Now that the code is getting more convoluted, it’s definitely getting more challenging to squash bugs, but I’m also adding a lot more choice to this chapter, as I wasn’t really satisfied with the amount in chapter 1. There’s also a lot of situational text that references previous choices, because I love that sort of stuff in the IF I read.

That’s about it for now. Thanks for reading!


I really love the wip and I think it has a lot of potential although I wish I could white hair as it can actually be a natural hair color


As seems to be popular to say, I loved the tone and writing style. There’s enough world-building to give me context without reading an encyclopedia that I’ll forget 70% of and wonder if the other 30% will ever be necessary to know in-game.

It may be just because I’m crazy sleep-deprived at the moment, but I found transitioning into the flashback nightmares to be a bit jarring. I think I was waiting to see a resolution to the current scene, or a fade to black, but I clicked ‘Next’ and was somewhere else. Again, maybe because I’m not at my sharpest, at this moment.

Anyways, very much looking forward to more.


Transitions and page breaks are my bete noire since I started working with Choicescript. It’s going to take a lot of fiddling and fine-tuning on my part to the blocks of text to look “right”, I suspect; particularly since it seems to look slightly different on PC vs mobile. It’s on the to-do list, but currently pretty far near the bottom :neutral_face:

I went back and forth on MC customization, especially since I started reading opinions posted on this forum. Some people want everything as a selectable option, some could care less as they picture the MC on their own, while yet another group only wants it if their choices are later referenced in the story (eg “they stare into your baby blue eyes”). All I can say is it’s early days so things have the potential to change, but the question I always ask myself before making a change is: does this make the story better?


I would say take these opinions in mind, but go with your gut feel. Thus far, I think you’re doing a great job!

Looking forward to your next update! This looks likes it’s gonna turn out to be one of those best-selling CoGs :smiley:


Regarding customisation, what about a choice where the player can just input their own hair color/eye color/etc?

So you’d just have to write a few basic customisation options plus one option along the lines of “something else” or “none of these”.