Good Intentions (WIP -- Updated 26-September-2018)



[quote=“Takashi_Shin, post:40, topic:43043, full:true”]

I’ve had the urge to write for a while now, but always found an excuse to put it off. I have a full time job and a big family (my wife and I have five daughters), and it was very easy to tell myself I was too busy.

Eventually, one random day I just sat down and started pouring out one of the stories that were buzzing around my brain. I kept going after the first couple pages, and it actually started getting easier rather than harder. Then I figured out the basics of ChoiceScript, made a post on the forum, and here we are. Honestly, I’m excited to see where this all ends up.

I am extremely not a professional writer; the last creative writing I did was 15 or more years ago (a Diablo 2 fanfic of all things, where I gave the characters actual personalities and let those personalities clash while walking through the game’s various acts. It was…not especially good :grimacing:). I’ve always been a huge fan of the noir genre though, so I knew I wanted to tell a story that made me feel a little like the way I felt when watching a beautiful old classic noir flick. That, and being a damn wizard is just freaking cool.


Good evening everyone.

Just a small note, because I often find myself wondering if a WIP I like is still alive, or if the author just abandoned it without a word.

In my case the WIP is still very much alive. Chapter 2 is up to around 18,000 words without code, and is maybe 60% done. Hard for me to tell exactly, as my planning is just a bare bones skeleton of major events, and I fill in the details organically – then re-edit a dozen or so times to make it less horrible.

The goal is to finish chapter 2 by the end of the month and add it to the demo. Now that the code is getting more convoluted, it’s definitely getting more challenging to squash bugs, but I’m also adding a lot more choice to this chapter, as I wasn’t really satisfied with the amount in chapter 1. There’s also a lot of situational text that references previous choices, because I love that sort of stuff in the IF I read.

That’s about it for now. Thanks for reading!


I really love the wip and I think it has a lot of potential although I wish I could white hair as it can actually be a natural hair color


As seems to be popular to say, I loved the tone and writing style. There’s enough world-building to give me context without reading an encyclopedia that I’ll forget 70% of and wonder if the other 30% will ever be necessary to know in-game.

It may be just because I’m crazy sleep-deprived at the moment, but I found transitioning into the flashback nightmares to be a bit jarring. I think I was waiting to see a resolution to the current scene, or a fade to black, but I clicked ‘Next’ and was somewhere else. Again, maybe because I’m not at my sharpest, at this moment.

Anyways, very much looking forward to more.


Transitions and page breaks are my bete noire since I started working with Choicescript. It’s going to take a lot of fiddling and fine-tuning on my part to the blocks of text to look “right”, I suspect; particularly since it seems to look slightly different on PC vs mobile. It’s on the to-do list, but currently pretty far near the bottom :neutral_face:

I went back and forth on MC customization, especially since I started reading opinions posted on this forum. Some people want everything as a selectable option, some could care less as they picture the MC on their own, while yet another group only wants it if their choices are later referenced in the story (eg “they stare into your baby blue eyes”). All I can say is it’s early days so things have the potential to change, but the question I always ask myself before making a change is: does this make the story better?


I would say take these opinions in mind, but go with your gut feel. Thus far, I think you’re doing a great job!

Looking forward to your next update! This looks likes it’s gonna turn out to be one of those best-selling CoGs :smiley:


Regarding customisation, what about a choice where the player can just input their own hair color/eye color/etc?

So you’d just have to write a few basic customisation options plus one option along the lines of “something else” or “none of these”.


So, a quick update: Chapter 2 has ballooned into around 38,000 words (not counting code). It’s pretty branch-y, so I have no idea what an average playthrough word count would be (or even how to calculate such a thing).

I have, much to my own surprise, added one potential romance. I didn’t plan on it, but the dang thing kind of started writing itself. Right now it’s pretty hard to find, so if you stumble on it…congrats, I guess?

I have also discovered I’m not super good at writing action scenes, but hopefully that will improve with practice.

I also removed the coffee addiction option; it just wasn’t working from a practical or dramatic sense. The other three remain in play, however. Subroutines for withdrawl and trauma checks (hidden variables) may or may not be in the update when it goes live. Still wrestling with the exact mechanics and gameplay consequences.

Otherwise, the chapter 2 update is still on track to go live by no later than next weekend (sooner, if I can find the time).

As always, thank you for your interest in my little project!


thank you for you taking time you need to make time update good luck on more of your plans in life :hugs:


Chapter 2 is complete and uploaded. According to CSIDE it clocks in at 50k words without code, but that’s deceptive. I’m learning Choicescript as I go, so my spaghetti code is full of redundancies. I’d guess the actual, original text is maybe in the 35k range?

I think the save system should work now. Stats are still VERY unbalanced, but even so let me know if something seems exceptionally wonky.

Still, please take a look if you have time. It’s passed Quicktest and Randomtest, but I’m sure there are still grammatical and spelling errors, as well as things that just plain don’t make sense because something isn’t pointed in the right direction. Please, let me know if you find anything like this. Thanks again for your interest!


Got an error on opening.


Yep, my first adventure with the save system. Should work now (crossing fingers, etc.)


It is working now. Great story, can’t wait for more.


In scene where in your in Lori’s apartment and the cops barge in, if you choose to just run it still gives you an option to keep and throw away a pistol


Always love a good mystery. The setting is super interesting and story was great!


I think you forgot to mention the gun here


I can tell this is going to be an interesting process. I’m a harsh critic of my own work, so I can’t help but feel embarassed over sloppy stuff like this. I think I fell victim to incorrect indentation here, so should be easy to fix.

That said, keep it coming! It really is incredibly helpful for fresh eyes to find these sort of things!


Lol no problem I can’t wait for new content :slight_smile:


Challenge accepted, but since you said it’s hard to find then it’s not 12 bucks wizard guy or Evans, well anyway it’s a really good story so far, i love how dark and gritty everything is, and the mc vice and their trauma it’s a nice touch, i like the fact that the pc iS affected by what happened is happenning, makes them more human


That was one hell of an update. This is so fucking good. I love a good dark story. Those flashbacks too, so well done. I felt the pain, the anger, the powerlessness. Jessica appeared shortly but I could see why we’d care for her. Hope you explore her angle more in the future. I thought the action scenes were pretty good too. Simple but good. I did find this part confusing, when we discovered the cop passing as a vagabond I thought we were on the street? Then during the fight somehow I made a guy fall into the apartment below, apparently. And then I got crushed against my refrigerator. So…did I just get that wrong or what?