Golden (WIP) - Updated June 14th 2021

A little bit of feedback. Could the choice about wearing a hijab be incorporated in a slightly different manner, perhaps? It was a quite jarring to see this specific item being offered as headwear - and this item only. Maybe go with a question like: “Do you have anything covering your hair?” - and offer a selection of items?
(with a note that some of them will be hiding your hair completely, if that’s what you were going for with that choice)

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I’m struggling to see what the problem is, or what’s actually ‘jarring’ with having the choice written the way it is. I think having the choice as early on as it is allows the third chapter to flow rather well.

Are you talking about having other head wear such as hats, bandanas etc? If so, then I wouldn’t put the option of a hijab with the items mentioned above because a hijab is for religious purposes; not a fashion statement. Furthermore, I have future plans for the demo to have extra head wear options.

Having a hijab is a choice that isn’t usually in interactive fiction game, and one that adds inclusion in the game - like I said, I don’t see what the problem is.

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A hijab isn’t a fashion statement. That’s not an opinion, it’s just a fact.

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“Jarring” comes mostly from the fact that that one character wasn’t a woman, and as far as I know, only they get to wear it irl, men have different kind of headwear, no? So characters might benefit from being able to pick between masculine and feminine types of cover.
(Especially considering that MC could be non-binary, too)

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Non-binary people can wear hijabs, and men can too.

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As a betatester for this, and a player who only plays with male MCs, I can say that I didn’t find it jarring in any way.
I didn’t pick that, but because I didn’t, I don’t think it was a bother in any way. It’s the same as asking the player if their character is bald, for example.
I think it would do good to look at the other side of things, no matter what’s your personal opinion on it, because that would go into a territory that shouldn’t be discussed here: imagine a player who actually wants their MC to wear a hijab - considering this covers the entire head, it would bother them to have descriptions of things happening with MC’s hair, that shouldn’t be possible with said headwear. It makes perfect sense to ask for that quite early on.

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When i choose something about my dad being the perfect mayor for the job. I think this bug also occur when i pick the no comment option.

:ok_hand: :+1: :+1: :ok_hand: :ok_hand:

So I’m really enjoying this wip a whole lot! It was a very fun read to get through before bed hehe. I found the world/city very vibrant, and I loved gradually learning about it as the story goes on! I’m excited to learn more about all the supernaturals as well!

I also appreciate on how we can build the relationship MC has with their parents, ngl I always chose to be kind with them based on my experiences with my own parents lol. Finally the banter between the characters was great, and some scenes got a giggle out of me.

Anyways sorry that these thoughts are all over the place😅! But yeah this was such a great read and I so excited to see how things turn out in the future!

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Thank you so much! It really means a lot knowing you have enjoyed all aspects of the story so far :smiley:

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Someone recommended this on reddit so I gave it a try. I loved it! It’s definitely on my top 5 WIPs. :two_hearts:

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Aw, huge thank you to the person on Reddit who recommended Golden; and to you for reading it! It means the world to me that you’re enjoying the WIP so far :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I’ll admit, aside from being a lover of fantasy, I’m the type who loves to be given a mystery early on to think about and watch unfold as I’m reading/watching/playing a story and you’ve certainly given a number to think about.

When I think of someone with supernatural origins, I think of someone who has kinda a natural leg up when faced off against a human; I mean, we’re not going to be beating werewolves in arm wrestling or demigods in foot racing anytime soon (as far as I know). So the fact that the mark MC has is enough to not only rile up the supernatural world, but do so to the point that murder is considered a good solution on who knows how many sides, has peaked my curiosity. In a world of vampires, werewolves, mages, demigods, gargoyles, demons, and who knows what else…the golden mark on a human is enough to set them all on edge in one way or another. And I can’t wait to find out what such mark is capable if its very existence on human can cause such a big stir in the supernatural community.

Then there’s the presence of Ezra and Liv to also take into consideration. I can’t even begin to guess that deeply about either of these people’s motives for their desire to be in the city right now. But while I can already tell that Ezra doesn’t seem to be up to anything good, Liv feels more like a wild card right now; sure, she’s likely got some hidden goals she’s pursuing during her stay, but it’s a little hard to tell if those goals will bring aid or problems to the group or MC. I would not be surprised if MC is some kind of unfortunate piece in whatever game the two are playing (something tells me Liv may have sought MC out and not because of their money).

On a more RO related note, I’ll admit I’ve already grown a soft spot for B and P, partly because of their personalities…and partly because they are the only two of the group so far who don’t go for murder as a first option. :laughing: I do sort of get where K and A may be coming from; they don’t seem to have much of a connection to the human side of the world and even less of one with MC and their priority is clearly more on the supernatural side. From a more logical standpoint, taking out a seemingly future threat before it has a chance to fully awake who-knows-what powers seems the best pragmatic choice to go with (cold and heartless, but pragmatic). That said, I still do give A and K points for not going ahead with the murder solution when the other half of their team is clearly not sold on the idea and the group together feel close knit and respectful to each other in their own ways. And hey, anyone interested in that enemies to lovers dynamic can’t get more enemy than unknowingly flirting with someone who is a potential assassin who has current motive of taking you out. And even once that kill motive gets rejected by the group as a whole, it’ll be just as interesting to see whay causes A and K to change their tune and how they handle whatever reaction MC may have if they were ever to discover that the person they are possibly developing feelings for had at one point wanted them dead.

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Golden Progress Update - 4th July 2021

I hope you’re all doing well today! If you’re American or living in the USA, I hope you have an enjoyable Independence Day!

It’s been about three weeks since the demo was updated, I hope it was a fun read if you have had the time to look over it.

I’ve been in a bit of a writing slump, but it seems like I’m coming out of it slowly!

What I’ve been doing:

  • I created a Patreon (link is in the top post) where I post additional content. So far I’ve released an in-depth progress update, and started the additional written content. I posted K’s first, and A’s will be up next.
  • The next quarter of chapter 5 is finished. It’s from the team’s perspective and as readers, you’ll get to learn a little more about the MC’s birthmark.
  • The next bit of chapter 5 will be the MC’s perspective. It’s a chance to add to the MC’s additional specialities, and to read the article Erin Donahue wrote.

Goals for next week:

  • Finish chapter 5
  • Publish A’s extra written content on Patreon

Hope you all have a brilliant week ahead. Take care. Stay tuned for an update in a week or so <3

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Congratulations on the Patreon! Also, I hope that your slump gives you a well deserved break sometime soon. No matter when you update (or how much you write) I’m looking forward to reading Golden!

Take care of yourself. Happy Independence Day if you’re American too.

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Congratulations! Make sure to take care of yourself!

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I just finished reading your WiP and it was definitely a very well written story, i’m really exited in reading the rest :slight_smile:

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As a Muslim, thank u so much for including the hijab option!!

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No problem! I’m glad you like the addition, and that you can relate to it. It’s definitely a choice that needs to be in more interactive fiction books.

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I agree - it isn’t relevant at all to me, but it’s such a simple thing to add, and yet it means so much to people. Sure, it may be a tad more difficult than a different hairstyle (as you have to edit a bit more text), but certainly not than a bald option, and you see that a lot.

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