The alternative to taking shit was death. She isn't Arya or Brienne or even Dany. She has literally been raised to be a Lady. She never learned how to fight.
A clever escape depends on people helping you. Sansa depended on people to help her. And escaped. I'm not sure what else you want from her.
You don't go from someone who believes in fairytales to a master schemer within a few years because you've seen a master or two at work.
But I'm not sure what you mean. She got Lysa to back off through a "I'm a stupid little girl" act, turned the tables on Littlefinger while making allies out of the Lords of the Vale, poked at Ramsay's insecurities and effectively manipulated Theon into saving her.
Trusting Littlefinger by going to the Boltons' was a bad call, but that's about it.
Her being right about Ramsay and Rickon does mean something. If Jon had listened, he wouldn't have been so easily trolled by Ramsay. Which was frustrating, since Jon is a pretty shrewd guy in the books.
Yes, she should have told him. And he should have listened to her. Both kind of hold the idiot ball in that regard, but I'd put it down to a lack of trust between them.
As for her "behaviour", that's what I call not taking shit from people (Myranda, Joffrey, Ramsay) and calling people out on their bs (Cersei, and Theon to some extent), while still managing to be one of the kindest people in the series, despite everything that happened to her. That's resilience.