Who is Happie? I cant find more info of this character.
And to romance Lollipop, I will need to break her amor of vanity? Why not embracing her vanity side?
First: Empathy, do I really have to wear clothes? It’s so comfortable without them!
Empathy blushes and looks away a little.
Empathy: well… You don’t have to… I don’t mind… small smirk
out of nowhere, Vyde pops his head around the corner.
Vyde: what’re you guys doing?
Empathy: GET OUT.
@Urban Happie was the cameo contest winner. She will appear soon I think.
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Oh yea just remembered something…
I was wondering when you were going to include the 3 contest characters?
Or if you don’t know yet then nvm, I don’t wanna burden you. 
The sentence here should be "she barely spoke or even looked in your direction, like she’s afraid you’ll see something terrifying in her eyes.
Eighteen should be lower case. Also, there should be a word connecting sample and the inhaler. When might be a good word to use in this context.
In addition, the semi-colon should not be used in the sentence "Dr. Francis was the same as usual; recorder running in his pocket, holo-notebook in hand. The sentence should either be split in two, or a colon should be used.
For this, there should be a comma after “him.” It’s should should be used when it’s said that “You tried to tell yourself its the same thing…”
Also, when saying "you really aught to calm down First you’ll have a heart attack, firstly, it should be “ought” and there should also be a comma before First. Secondly, it should be two sentences. The sentence should look like this: “You really ought to calm down, First. You’ll have a heart attack.”
Any-less does not need the hyphen. “He” should be added before the sentence “claimed that he was checking the tone and form of your muscles for abnormalities.”
In “You were big, was it from the daily exercise or were you just ‘meant’ to look so damned powerful?”, the sentence should be split in two. It should be “You were big. Was it from the daily exercise or were you just ‘meant’ to look so damned powerful?”
The first sentence here should be “Meaning your eyes glowed with only a bright green in the right light.”
There should be a new sentence. The sentence should be re-written as “It’s at that moment that you remember that you were still…in your underwear. The guards looked at you, not sure whether to take you as is or let you get dressed. Not that it mattered to you.”
It should be spelled “behaviour.”
Lydia “was sure to rain hell down on you.”
Last for this, the sentence “Would you two stop staring, at the poor boy?!” should be edited to “Would you two stop staring at the poor boy?!”
Also, when meeting Sillic, she comments on “combat chique.” That should be changed to “combat chic.”
These aren’t all the errors I’ve found. There are more, but I’ll leave at this for now. I hope this ends up being helpful.
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Well @Urban it’s possible to go Darkside with Loli. Or be evil in general… or rather choose to go against moral stereotypes. Not too many can stop First from doing what they want.
I’ll admit it’s been rather Empathy centric but no worries First will get face time with other fun folks as the adventure continues.
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It’s not like we can get to know all the characters at once, so I’m fine with it as it is at* the moment - looking forward to getting to know the others too. 
** ‘it as it is at’? Oh dear what a tongue-twisting sequence, try saying it three times in rapid succession!* 
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it three times in rapid succession
that wasn’t that hard am i missing something?
A bit late but better than never.
This was a pleasant surprise, and while it is rough around the edges,(grammar-wise, mainly, though someone probably informed you already) it’s still makes me want to play it again.
Some things that bother me / make me curious / have me nitpicking, though (and if anyone has already asked, sorry, I haven’t looked through this thread):
–Seems a bit silly to have Vye as an option for the MC name, and have another character with a very similar name. I know we don’t have to choose that name, but still, it’s a bit funny.
–Are you planning on adding relationship stats in the future?
–With how you are building the demo right now, would it possible to change how our character behaves after the choices have been made?
–Would the MC learn more abilities they never knew they had as the story goes along?
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[quote=“Drakeye, post:964, topic:13740”]
am i missing something?
[/quote]Your tongue? 
And now over to answer RagEgnite’s questions, any takers?
This one I think even I can answer:
Most certainly seems like it, from what I gather, but nothing specific have been said (of course, one could say).
@Gregory_Pena thanks for the overlook. Though some issues I couldn’t fixe because it was hard to tell what exactly you were alluding to. though the majority Is repaired. Much tanks.
Hey who knows the player may have chosen other names themselves, I mean how many Johns are in the world. Though I do get the similarity point.
They exist, mostly hidden until you unlock the character sheet by meeting these people, there’s a ‘trust-level’ in the Chara profile. Wanted more of a ‘written’ feel for how a character sees you rather than “Ooo so I’ve got two points Vyde three points Empathy and five Moleculo!” I find that creating a singular list of the relationship stats dehumanizes the characters, if I do my part well enough it should be very clear how any given character feels about you. If in doubt check the trust level. One character may be confusing in this area and that’s Silic but its unpredictable.
I’m not going to ‘change’ behaviour later on because its unnatural to do so, though it ‘can’ grow and evolve. You can be a Brat and a Smart ass, or a Trouble-making Optimist these combinations creating habits and patterns of personality. People develope these unchanging traits but they learn to hide them better or improve them. But First hasn’t much in the way of social graces so their personality and habits will be more static and pronounced especially with the lack of ‘speaking’. BUT essentially there will be more moments to ‘grow’ like becoming Reckless, Civilized, Flexible, these going toward how you conduct yourself around others ect…
First’s power is pretty well set, BUT learning how to use them and developing certain skills will come about. Will they use they’re raw power be it speed strength or resilience? Get creative with these in combination, taking in the environment and outsmarting their opponents and their abilities(what happens when someone like First Whistles at full volume)? Perhaps First could invest in some ‘tools’?
If you’re looking for First to develop flight or laser vision you’ll be unfortunately let down. I will on the other be aiming to make First much more than a simple brute. Who needs a gun when you can throw a brick at terminal velocity. A handful of glass would be like a shotgun.
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I really liked it. It was fun playing around all the choices and I look forward to the completion of this little baby.
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That’s what I mean, yes, since we’ve seen little of it yet. Didn’t mean mind control over a tree sloth or the ability to change other people’s skin colour (beyond making them blush). 
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Hey who knows the player may have chosen other names themselves, I mean how many Johns are in the world. Though I do get the similarity point.
Fair enough
They exist, mostly hidden until you unlock the character sheet by meeting these people, there’s a ‘trust-level’ in the Chara profile. Wanted more of a ‘written’ feel for how a character sees you rather than “Ooo so I’ve got two points Vyde three points Empathy and five Moleculo!” I find that creating a singular list of the relationship stats dehumanizes the characters, if I do my part well enough it should be very clear how any given character feels about you. If in doubt check the trust level. One character may be confusing in this area and that’s Silic but its unpredictable.
Well, we as the MC don’t really know too much about Silic yet other than what the other characters say, but go figure. Also, writing how characters feel about us shouldn’t be too hard, given how much fun it is to play through this already.
I’m not going to ‘change’ behaviour later on because its unnatural to do so, though it ‘can’ grow and evolve. You can be a Brat and a Smart ass, or a Trouble-making Optimist these combinations creating habits and patterns of personality. People develope these unchanging traits but they learn to hide them better or improve them. But First hasn’t much in the way of social graces so their personality and habits will be more static and pronounced especially with the lack of ‘speaking’. BUT essentially there will be more moments to ‘grow’ like becoming Reckless, Civilized, Flexible, these going toward how you conduct yourself around others ect…
I guess “change” was the wrong word. I sort of meant like what you are saying now but also in certain situations where the character sort of does something out of character due to desperation or something, but this is still a satisfying answer.
First’s power is pretty well set, BUT learning how to use them and developing certain skills will come about. Will they use they’re raw power be it speed strength or resilience? Get creative with these in combination, taking in the environment and outsmarting their opponents and their abilities(what happens when someone like First Whistles at full volume)? Perhaps First could invest in some ‘tools’?
If you’re looking for First to develop flight or laser vision you’ll be unfortunately let down. I will on the other be aiming to make First much more than a simple brute. Who needs a gun when you can throw a brick at terminal velocity. A handful of glass would be like a shotgun.
Fair enough answer, I’ll just make sure I don’t leave my scissors lying around should you go that route… 
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Wow, really like the look of this. Interesting concept, and the whole mute thing works far better than I thought it would. Also, the MC’s apparent fondness for nudity around other people is hilarious. A+ :’)
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Really enjoying the story so far Snoe. Hooked me in very nicely and I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes.
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Hey. Love the idea and the direction this is going!
I have to ask though if you had ever read/watch a manga/anime called ‘Gangsta’ because the mute protaganist is kind of similar. I love being a uniquely innocent character but… an option to be an evil overpowered freak is appealing. Here’s hoping to something bad happening to someone close to First which is the next behavior evolution phase on how he view the world. 
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First will have plenty opportunity to act in ‘anger’, but it can get ugly considering what they are capable of. And nope never heard of Gangstas
Silic makes an off color joke about Dr.Cormel
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OH and for those of you that are wondering I’m working on the ‘rooftop’ path, with sneaky updating. Finally got some free time to concentrate. Oh and I’ve been tweaking the profiles too little by little.
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Looking forward to seeing it, as usual. 
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Just wanted to say that I loved demo! The game looks very promising and I eagerly await new updates.
The plot looks intriguing and every character seems to be unique and colourful, main hero included. And I suspect all the trait combinations and upgrades of First, not to mention other customization options, add a lot to the replay value.
Also wanted to ask would you mind if I draw a fanart?..
And semi-related question: what colour are Empathy’s eyes? They are described ‘pale blue’ in demo, but in your art rendition they seem to be magenta coloured.
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