Forsaken (WiP) |September 6, 2019|

Love John Constantine?

Well, you’ve certainly come to the wrong thread.

UPDATE Partial Chapter 3 stuff

But hear me out!

Five years ago, you were young and reckless, and your arrogance drove you to make a deal with two powerful entities.

In exchange for the secrets of your soul, you wield the knowledge and magic of both heaven and hell.

But everything went wrong after that. Your friends resent you, the society of mages think you’re dead, and you have no place in heaven and hell.

Now, your lower back isn’t the only thing that’s been killing you.

Heaven and Hell has come to collect your debt.

Demo: https://dashingdon.com/go/4235
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ROs? We still have one of those?

Velvet Underwood, a half-kitsune with a fierce attitude. She might turn you into swiss cheese if she sees you.

Mael Peterson, a former demon hunter who would love to beat you to death with your own spine. He was exiled because of what you did.

Kate, an apprentice mage.

Azrael.

Word count

Chapter 1 = 9.8k words.

Too long to read? The story involves supernatural stuff. :man_shrugging:

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Why don’t you let the reader imput text their own name?

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Crap, I forgot to put that. :sweat_smile:

Edit: Fixed it

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Demon Recollect

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Don’t worry, I’m not abandoning that project :sweat_smile:

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well everyone hate me but not the old man that is now kia

Oooh~ I love this!
Angels+Demons+Mages= Awesomeness
Can’t wait for the update!

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I’m keeping an eye on this

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did are oc start holy war get this bad or was it prank call gone very bad

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It was a deal gone wrong. It didn’t start any wars, but it did piss almost every single entity

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Has if the Demon Recollect wasn’t enough, I fell in love with this WIP as well.

Best of luck with your work.

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How r u so good at writing xd

Perhaps reword the use angelic magic option, when I chose it I didn’t realize that it would make the MC an angelic magic user, but a spellthief who mugs supernaturals for their mojo and then smacks them in the face with their own magic.

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Wu Feng is said to have a “thick Asian accent.” Based on his name, I’m guessing he’s Chinese and therefore speaks with a Chinese accent. (Although there are lots of different dialects of Chinese—I assume saying that someone has a Chinese accent is roughly equivalent to saying someone has an American accent. Not very descriptive, but close enough.) Asia is way too big for there to be one Asian accent.

For a character who only shows up on four pages, he invokes a lot of stereotypical tropes (Magical Asian, a little bit of Old Master, Asian Store-Owner, the “tea with animal organ that tastes bad” thing). I think you should familiarize yourself with East Asian and Chinese stereotypes on this page, just as a general overview, and then rewrite him with more depth. It’ll make him a stronger character, which should help him stand out a little more with the limited pages he has to make an impression.

I also like this blog.

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@stsword :thinking: Yeah, perhaps I should…

@androthropes slams fist on the table Thank you! I’ve been staying up last night looking for that!

@DontJudge I think you meant “How are you writing” :rofl:

@Daxterix Thanks!

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Angels here, demons there, angles and demons everywhere. Oh, I’m so popular.

Also the line: five years ago you kicked the wrong balls. Almost made me laugh hard in class, so note to self not to read this during class.

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man are oc piss everyone cornflakes on tried to making this deal

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I love the bits of snark in the narration despite the circumstances! Gives off a devil-may-care sort of attitude for our MC and I am all for it! I’m looking forward to more

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I love the idea. Can we in the end take over Heaven and/or Hell?

Heh

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