Fira's Chronicles (Little update 14/06/2020 - Revisions and slight changes.)

Hi everyone!

I’ve begun work on my new and first game, it’s called Fira’s Chronicles. This project began almost a year ago and finally, I decided to share it with the community.

The story in this game is not for children. It contains mature themes, dark scenes, it contains mild violence and descriptions of dismembered bodies.

Planet Fira awakens to confront a great menace, not only to Fira but the two ancient realms which they supposed to be just a legend.

Your life is about to change when a building falls upon you, while you were following your first story for your new job. You’ll find about your real origins, and you will discover the magic within you. Varjal, an old acquaintance of your family threats all planet Fira. She needs the last source of nephalem’s power, which is you. She wants your blood and your dead. Will you be able to stop Varjal’s plans and save your life?

You will know new people in your life who will help you to stop her.

You can choose your gender and romance one of the six ros characters in the game, you can choose the gender in one of them.

Currently, you can play until the second chapter, which is almost complete. I divided the game into seven chapters. I plan on updating every 3/4 weeks.

To play the demo, go here: Fira’s Chronicle new link (2.1 xD)
Old link. It doesn’t work now Fira’s Chronicles

You can play as non-binary, female or male.

The game is focused on romance too. There are six romance characters, you can choose the gender in one of them. The romances are slow-burn.

RO’s list.

Summary

Chloe: Average height, clear blue eyes, tan skin, and shoulder-length pink hair. She’s very easygoing and intelligent.

Edmund: He is medium-tall height, olive skin, garret-red eyes, his hair is pure white. He’s impulsive and tends to act dramatically.

Dimitri: He is taller than Edmund, vanilla skin, almond gray eyes, and brown curly hair in a medium-short length. He tends to be rude with everyone and over-protective with Mutaal.

Mutaal: The gender of this character is selectable for the player. They are medium-tall height, cinnamon skin. Green clear eyes. Their hair is silver almost white, wear it in a low ponytail. They are very polite and quiet.

Lenka: She is tall, her skin is chocolate. She has dark yellow eyes and long wavy dark-green hair. She tends to speak whatever is on her mind, but she’s easygoing too.

Sage: They are tall with dark brown skin. Their eyes are dark-pink and their hair is navy blue and long wear it on a plait. They are very quiet and don’t talk too much, they like to be around the MC.

I’ll appreciate any kind of constructive criticism, about spelling and grammar, nitpicking is accepted in this thread :grin:
Also, how you feel about the characters, what you like, or any suggestion you have, that helps to improve the game.

I hope you’ll enjoy the demo.

Trigger warnings.

Summary

In the game, you will find references to dismemberments (not explicit) and you will also find deaths, some will be children. (These will never be explicit content)

Updates

Summary

26/12/2019 - I’ve modified some things with Dennis and some curses staff while the MC is escaping in chapter 1. Added to Chapter 2 the content of Rose’s letter and a call from a friend.
04/01/2020 - The intro and the first chapter, had been modified slightly, hoping to make the story more fluid.
19/01/2020 - Added more choices in the second chapter. First training added. (Rolph and Sam)
24/01/2020 - Added training with Edmund and Dimitri. And time alone with each character.
15/02/2020 - Added training with Sage. And time alone with them. Modified some scenes taking advice from some of you.
22/02/2020 - Added training with Chloe and Lenka. And time alone with each character.
03/03/2020 - The game’s files have been updated. I’ve made some changes regarding Dimitri and Mutaal and their motives to go with the MC. I have changed some choices and a new conversation between the MC, Sam, and Rolph. As the startup file has been modified if you had your game saved at some point, probably it won’t work now. Sorry for the inconvenience. The demo is about 82285 words now
19/03/2020 - Chapter 2 is complete now. I’ve updated a few new scenes and all training in chapter two are finished, so, your MC can know more about their new companions plus they’re more prepared for what’s to come. As the startup file has been modified if you had your game saved at some point, probably it won’t work now. Sorry for the inconvenience. The demo is about 86600 words now.
01/05/2020 - I’ve uploaded some changes; a new option to skip part of the intro and a new interlude. I’m still writing chapter 3 and I hope it will be shorter than chapter two, which counts 58000 words, maybe not “shorter” but less “wider” and added an option at the end that will allow the MC to be interested in someone that wasn’t selected before. And I think I solved a problem in the training, if your MC selected to train with Dimitri before than Edmund, it skipped the option to return and train with Edmund, so, it should be working now. Uploaded a new interlude too. Right now with what I’ve written of chapter 3 the word count is about 93600.
14/06/2020 Little update - I’ve made some revisions. Also, there are slight changes in the story and now, Anaïs is the same gender as the MC. It took me a while to code this change.

145 Likes

Went through it. It’s alright in my eyes, interesting should be the term.

I noticed you’ve said it’s your first game…and as such, it won’t rely too much on its stats due to lack of knowledge in coding area.

Honestly, my personal opinion is, cut those stats…or …trim em down to say. Make things easier for yourself, speaking from personal experience it’s a lot of work to maintain a few stats throughout the story, and you have like a ton of them.

But as i said, this is just advice from my side, make stuff easier for yourself if it’s your first. Get some practice, take it easy.

The second thing I’ve noticed…there’s like huge walls of text. And if I learned anything while sneaking around forums here is…a LOT of people HATE wall of texts. Use *page_break more often!

I myself do that, but mainly when there is a time skip or something else, that requires detailed explanation of things to the reader.

Anyways, keep up the good work! :slight_smile:

14 Likes

Thanks a lot for your feedback. I’ll take a look and I’ll make more use of *page_break.

Again thanks. :blush:

5 Likes

A smirk appeared on Cross’s face.

In this scene the MC has a bag on their head so they are not able to see that

3 Likes

Quick question: do we have to save the world? Will it be possible to be bad guy and help spread chaos and destruction? Asking for a friend

3 Likes

Yeah… I thought about it too and I tried to write some stuff for that path but, I’m not good writing a bad MC. Sorry :cold_sweat: But, the Mc can be more selfish though.

@Vashnik I thought that was weird when I wrote that… Now that I have your confirmation about that I’ll take care of it.

Thanks both for the review. :blush:

5 Likes

Why people insist on make everything more difficult than it’s?
Should be (Why do people insist on making everything more difficult than it is?)
Also so far pretty good
(You do not remember to picked him up.)
You do not remember picking him up.

1 Like

Oh! Thanks a lot for the corrections. I’m very greatful for those ones. English is not my first or second language, so I appreciate it. :smile:

3 Likes

good story :slightly_smiling_face: :+1:

1 Like

This is a pretty good story. I like the humor, and world-building you’ve got so far. :slightly_smiling_face:

There's a small error of extra text being generated when selecting from the Elemental powers offered in the "bad guy's" lab

Of course by “bad guy” I meant Oliver. After being offered these choices:

When selecting "A powerful and fresh energy flowing trough you."

When selecting "like a powerful force being born inside you."

What seems to be going on here is that the text for each successive elemental type is being added to the former. When the first option that gives Ice powers is picked, it will show the text for the second, and third options. When the second option is picked, it will show the text for the second and third, but not the first. Finally, the third option seems to be working as intended, but I suspect this is because it is the last one on the list.

After picking two, the third option doesn't seem to hide itself.

The :sparkles: are just to break up how close the images felt.


:sparkles:

:sparkles:

This last screenshot shows a cautious nitpick more than anything else...

Is the player character misgendering Sage on purpose to be rude? Or was that a typo? There’s a few pronoun errors peppered throughout, but that one stands out in particular because it is something the player can actually choose.

If it is not a typo, this topic is one that will be brought up again since it likely goes against forum guidelines. It’s only fair to mention that there are a lot of users here who will be sad because of this option existing the way it does. :slightly_frowning_face:

This is all for now, as I haven’t finished reading the whole demo quite yet, but what’s available is really fun, and interesting so far. :smile:

2 Likes

Thanks for finding all that errors. I’ll fix it as soon as I get home! I’ll look for some labels that should be there but, as I see they aren’t working. As Sage, they are quite with most of the people but, for some reason they feel free around the MC. Sage are non-binary, that character has always been. If you find anything that’s weird, do not doubt to tell me. Thanks a lot!!! :blush:

Just now (2 hours later) I’ve uploaded the new files. All problems, suggestions and errors have been updated… so… it should work correctly and Sage should be Sage and not with Dimitri’s line. I’ve also caught Chloe in a place where she shouldn’t be. :rofl:

3 Likes

I find the game fairly nice! the only thing I would recommend is to make it a bit less fast-paced? Denis’s thing feels a bit rushed and maybe have options to have mc curse less and be a bit less of a tsundere I guess? I didn’t really get why were they insulting Dimitri when he and Mutaal were bailing them out? and a sentence after they get shy about finding him pretty?

oh I found a bug!

2 Likes

Yeah… The MC doesn’t deal well with emotions. With Dimitri, if you choose to see the romance path, the MC in the beginning can’t understand or realize that they like Dimitri, that there is some kind of attraction, so they getting angry at him is just denial, at first. About the curses I’ll take a look at it and I’ll consider your opinion. :blush:
Thanks for taking your time with the game. The bug shouldn’t be there anymore, thanks for finding it!

like how put demons as people how have feeling two

2 Likes

I`ve modified the thing with Dennis and the curse while the MC is escaping. I’ve added to the content of Rose’s letter and a phone call from a friend.

Have you all a nice day! :grinning:

I find this game very interesting andI love the story so far.
My only problem is that we are leering constantly at everybody even if not attracted. I know the MC is supposed to like pretty things but I personally find it a bit odd. Also it’s strange that the MC blushes always with no reason. Even we are still not attracted

1 Like

I know the MC’s obsession can be odd, but, I pictured them like that in my first wrote them. I’ll take a look anyway, maybe I can rewrite some scenes and make that lighter/smooth. About blushing they blush when they are very angry next to be furious (I do that) not only when there’s some attraction between characters. They blush too when they’re ashamed or caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing but, I promise I’ll take a look at that too and change it in some scenes, I think that’s a very valid criticism so, thanks a lot for taking time to express your thoughts.

1 Like

Of course if it’s how you imagined the MC then it’s not a problem. It isn’t really a issue only a thing I noticed. Maybe I just have to get used to it!
May I ask who are the six RO?
Only member of the Team?

Summary

Also when we meet chloe (i think Dimitri) says “She has a thing for things which are beautiful to her” (or something like that) but my MC is a boy.

And

“Aww! I her heaaard… heaard heer?” same problem here

“Are you reach?” (in the zeppelin scene) I think it should mean rich or maybe I just got it wrong

Mutaal clears {Mhis} throat

The rest of the team arrives and Mutaal stops Lenka from opening the door. -“Don’t! She’ll open it when she is ready.”

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… Oh! S***…Thanks a lot for for founding that!! Ihave already taken care of this issue :smiling_imp:

I will put the RO’s list on the top of the post. :smile:

1 Like