Fields of Asphodel [A Greek Mythology WIP] [Updated 30 November 2023 - Now Editing for Publication!]

@Empress_Nightmare Hypnos is genderfluid and fine with any pronouns, so the others use a mix of he, she, and they in referring to them.

@Gapaot I hope you enjoy! Just for reference, though, I am a they/them. :slight_smile:

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I LOVED the new chapter! I’ve only played through with one character so far, but I have maybe a continuity thing?

Details (contains mild spoilers)

I met Makaria on my first day but did not go to dinner when prompted. (Went outside instead.) When I later go on the date with Hades, I can ask about her and he doesn’t make any mention of me having met her. Maybe it’s just implied that I did at a later dinner? (Or I may have missed it; I stayed up past my bedtime reading.)

Wait, that’s not clear. It’s just that he remarks upon our meeting at dinner and I wasn’t sure if he would have later on or not.

I’m going to replay and not meet her Day 1 and see how that works.

One typo: aquaducts should I think be aqueducts. I didn’t write down where I saw that though, sorry!

Ah thank you! I think at the moment the game presumes Makaria just told Hades you met, so they game proceeds as if he knows you know her, just the same as if you met her at dinner. I’ll look at adding a little variance to that based on when the player encountered her.

Also you are definitely right about the spelling; I’ll look for the instance. :slight_smile:

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And what 'bout this @Jaybirdy?!?

I don’t know that you need to add anything. It’s just that I usually play: meet Makaria Day 1, and then go to dinner and Hades is adorable when he has to pause and reassess because you’re already acquainted. When I tried a new thing I was just surprised.

It is done perfectly when I don’t meet her OR go to dinner; she stops by and introduces herself, so asking Hades about her would make sense later on.

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Hades held my arm for 1.2 seconds so we’re pretty much love birds. :sunglasses:

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@Empress_Nightmare It is just a typo. The correct variable gets set, and I will fix the error when I update next.

@furyleika It’d only be a small adjustment, methinks, but I do like to try and have little details like that to match up correctly, so when I go back to fix things later I’ll see if I remember to have a look. :slight_smile:

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Found a code leaking :wink:

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Just found this and so far I’m enjoying the way your are portraying this! I didn’t realize how long this WIP was so I haven’t played it completely but I’m enjoying the way the characters are written and portrayed

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Okay so!!! I just finished the demo up to the latest update, not all in one go but close enough to it, hahaha. I really, deeply enjoyed it! I’m not a super huge mythology buff, but the setting is really interesting and I enjoy the way you’ve integrated the myths but made it your own thing just as much!

And as someone who has never particularly enjoyed Persephone/Hades stuff to begin with, and was sorta skeptical about this game based on the premise: firstly I really enjoy that you did still keep the fact that the MC is not actually a willing part of this; I know a lot of people wanna like empower Persephone by rewriting the story where it was her choice, but it always rubs me the wrong way when people act like depicting a female character with a lack of agency due to external reasons (particularly very historically accurate ones!) is somehow unfeminist? And also it just sorta bugs me a bit that Persephone and Hades has been rewritten in the public consciousness as a romantic love story, given that a lot of it feels like it’s drawing more out of like… aesthetic, than any genuine good reason. Also I dislike death aesthetics and cold, evil (or ‘evil’) men as love interests lmfao. But no I’m glad that you did cleave a bit closer to the real myth, there, and even if this Hades is very different, I do appreciate that he is genuinely a good person, given the idea is to give the MC a place where they could maybe be happy, and I reaaaally appreciate that he doesn’t actually dominate the story to the extent it feels like the MC is forced to be with him.

Which (er, earlier in the above paragraph) is another thing: IDK if you’re neurodivergent or just really Get It but YES my god, I’ve never seen a game so accurately represent my kind of neurodivergence!! (I’m autistic and have ADHD haha). Like, there’s the obvious stuff, like the stimming; the moment of bonding between Hades and the MC over that was really sweet! But also like the understimulation when going to visit the prayer – the way it’s described is just so accurate, and the way it impacts your ability to think clearly, and bluh, it really is just nice that Hermes noticed and was able to help! Because in general, I really, REALLY appreciate that the game actually allows the MC to, like… be weak, and scared, and shy? I know the point of these games is usually to live out your fantasies of being a Badass who Takes Names but sometimes I just want a power fantasy where the goal is ‘be somewhere where you’re happy and helpful’ lmaooo and the ability to portray the MC as someone who is as sensitive and uncertain and easily overwhelmed as I am IRL just!! It made me feel so, so comfortable… Like, for once I felt like these people (except maybe Alektros but that’s cool lmao; we wouldn’t get along IRL either and that’s just realistic) (also Hekate apparently?? but I’ll get to that…) actually maybe would like me and be nice to me like this if they met the real me. Oh, like, even just being able to keep people out of the garden (without permission) and have it be about control and anxiety rather than, like, being some Cold Mean Misanthrope!!! I hate it so much when people assume that the only reason why you wouldn’t want to be around people is because of some sort of hate or irritation or whatever ahhhhh

But, so!! I don’t know if you’re soliciting this specifically, but I’ve heard it helps creators of these games to hear about people’s MCs, so they know what people are reading into and expecting out of the story? And I would very much like to tell you about Dionysus. :slight_smile:

So, Dionysus (he/they) is pretty much an embodiment of the idea of life, more than just plants, per se. He is a being of healing, and light, and colours, and joy, and compassion, and gentleness. But that extreme sense of empathy comes at a cost: he’s extremely sensitive and tends to get overwhelmed easily, and his life up until now has been dominated by a thought that he has never quite belonged anywhere, and has been blessed far too much while being able to give far too little in return. He has allowed himself largely to be controlled by Demeter, and that brings up mixed feelings; sometimes, yes, the expectations are stifling, when he has to control his stimming or just endure overwhelming situations without leaving, but he also feels indebted to her, and grateful for the routine and structure she provides. He loves her and worries about her and wants very much to please her and do his duty.

So when they hear of Zeus’s proposition, they are outright scared for two big reasons. Firstly, they’re deeply worried about the idea of being married to Hades, and that he will treat them cruelly, and he will not be able to do anything about that. Secondly, the Underworld just really does sound awful: as someone who absorbs the world around them so very easily, they are happiest when surrounded by pretty and happy things, and they can barely imagine the gloom that would overtake them in such a barren place. They go along with it, and do their duty, but they are very happy that their mother will be getting them out, soon.

On reaching the Underworld and becoming accustomed to it, those fears… don’t dissipate entirely, but they do shift a great deal. Hades is an authority, and as of the latest chapter, they’re still not entirely comfortable around him, but they can see and believe that he is a good person who wishes them well. It was hard for them to believe at first that he truly required nothing of them, but it was a great relief, and they definitely spent at least a few days just sorta holed up on their own coping with the change by controlling their surroundings as much as possible, haha. But by now, they’re happy to spend some time with him, and even make a joke now and then – and, of course, they’re already a devotee of his adorable daughter. And the doggo!!! Nothing else except Kerebos (and flying) can bring out such unbridled joy in Dionysus as the doggo! :slight_smile: So, the relationship between them and Hades honestly feels more like… siblings, or even father and child, than anything romantic. They don’t see him as family yet, but perhaps they will, someday.

And as for the other part of their fears… well, that’s quite a bit more complicated. Unfortunately, the Underworld sort of IS bad for Dionysus, inherently. The dull colours and the depressing atmosphere just don’t affect him very well, and while he’s learned to mostly tolerate it, there’s no denying that this is far from his ideal place. However, what truly stuns him about this place is that he might just be good for it. He’s longed, all his life, to find a place where he can belong, and this… isn’t really that, honestly. But it’s a place where he can do good, and be good for something. A place where all that compassion and agape in his heart can find some release, right before his eyes. A place that maybe needs him. Of course, answering prayers can do that, too; though it’s too early in the story yet to see where that will take him. But for once, he has found something that only he can do; a justificiation for his existence.

And so, if you were to ask him how he feels about this whole situation… he really wouldn’t know what to say at all :’D There’s a moment where Hera asks how he’s doing, and he says ‘well enough,’ and the text says something like ‘you don’t want to say anything too positive or Zeus might annul the marriage’, but tbh his thoughts are just even more mixed than that. He sorta doesn’t really want to be married to Hades, since that inherently implies feelings that he’s pretty sure will never be there, but he doesn’t want to lose that reason to interact with him, and while in an ideal world he’d shift all the people here to somewhere brighter and happier, he also feels some duty (and enjoyment in that duty) to stay here… And he has absolutely not the slightest clue how to explain that to his mother, and doesn’t even really WANT to admit all these things, haha. He might have said something to Hermes, when they went flying. But nobody else, I don’t think.

Speaking of Hermes: he’s who I’ve been romancing, so far! I had Hermes be Dionysus’ longtime friend, and early on Dionysus pretty much stick by his side at all times, haha. Even though I’m aroace IRL, I tend to like playing out romances in these games, partly for the extra story but also partly to sorta feel through it via proxy? Anyway, Dionysus definitely has a crush on him, haha, though he’s wayyy too self-conscious and nervous about the whole thing to do any overt flirting. (Another thing I love!!! The ability to initiate romances without having to be some super confident flirter! I love it!) Which has lead to a couple of awkward moments?? I wasn’t 100% sure how to interpret his reactions to Dionysus’ flusteredness, but seeing what you read about Hermes finding physical acts easy but being allergic to Feelings… oh, dear: this is a conflict just Waiting to happen :’’’’’’D Because it’s not even that Dionysus is hyper romantic or anything, but they just – feel So Much, at all times, and they’ve relied on Hermes in part because he’s their friend, but also in part because they tend to give off the kind of emotions that are good for them to take in, so to speak: a greater calm and relaxation, but also a cheerful, happy energy. I can tell Hermes cares enough to take care of them, and knows them well, but going any further might be… a Lot for him. Will Hermes have to learn to accept his own emotions, or will Dionysus have to learn how to deal with their own emotions and even express them out at risk of rejection? Or both??? I look forward to seeing it :slight_smile:

As for the others… Like I said: Dionysus and Alekto are just like oil and water. I can see that Alekto is gaining respect for Dionysus that he’s actually trying to help people and not just being whatever she imagines of Olympians, but… she’d have to learn to be a lot less harsh in her words to ever really be Dionysus’ friend. And I don’t think that’s something that really needs to happen. I mean, who knows? Dionysus is kind to everyone regardless, so maybe he’ll become something of a soft and sweet presence in her life and will bring out her softer side. But I think it’s okay if they just sorta don’t get along, and Alekto always feels a little frustrated at Dionysus’ sensitivity, and Dionysus always feels a little hurt but Alekto’s coldness.

Now, Pyri!! Looking at the bios, maybe Dionysus should’ve romanced this enby, instead? :’D And I’d certainly love to, one time – hot-blooded young people who are sweet if a but naive and experienced are very, very much my type of love interest, hahaha. But Dionysus just… has a bit too much of a mental block against violence and fighting. There’s a lot of complicated feelings behind that; it feels the opposite of his domain, and therefore against his duty, but he also doesn’t think he has a right to commit violence. But more than that, he’s so destructively empathetic that seeing people hurt is just painful. Maybe he’s even gone through some violence in his past and the subject brings up that trauma. So even though he knows well that Pyri is a nice person and likes them well enough, their whole role in this world (like Alekto’s) is just sorta… inherently discomfiting to them. Also, maybe Pyri is just also too new and inexperienced to help Dionysus as much as someone like Hermes? But also not lacking enough in areas Dionysus can help with that he feels like he can help them.

Which brings me to something. Early on, Hekate and Dionysus got along well: Dionysus loves reading and learning, and is super impressed with all of Hekate’s magic studying; they even agreed to become her assistant for their job! They also helped with healing Lethe; like I’ve said, healing also just Feels like it comes under their domain, and I’d definitely like to expand that in story if that domain expansion does become a thing. She was never a romantic prospect, though; like Hades, she comes across as too mature and established and confident – more of a big sister or a mentor than a girlfriend. But they could’ve been close.

I say could’ve, because… okay, so: during the scene where Dionysus learns to defend himself, I really appreciate all the options you gave for him to express discomfort with that, and I also appreciate that it’s not a scene players can just opt out of, because it’d sorta just take out some of the story and lore there. But there’s a moment where Hekate says that anyone who disapproves of violence has either never needed it or is an idiot, and that’s just sorta… brushed over? I really wish there was a way to react to that – emotionally, even if not verbally. Because Dionysus would be really friggin hurt by that. She’s basically saying that either he hasn’t gone through anything bad (which he HAS, but struggles to believe he has, sometimes), or is an idiot, and Dionysus would definitely worry that either or both are true. And it’d affect his relationship with her, to see his mentor say something so (unknowingly, presumably) cruel to him. He’d expect that from Alekto, but not her. And come to think of it, it’s sorta not great that Hermes knows well how Dionysus feels but just lets the comment slide, either. So, idk – I sorta wish that could be changed, a bit?

But, moving on… Charon!! If there’s anyone other than Hermes that Dionysus might romance, it’s him, which… maybe sounds weird given that he’s also old and confident?? But it’s more of a quiet, reflective sort of calm, which suits Dionysus well (aside from Hekate’s more practical nature, I guess). He seems more… almost philosophical. And more than that, there’s something sad in him, and that is just ringing loud bells for our Mx ‘desperate to do something good for people in the world’ Dionysus, here :stuck_out_tongue: They don’t want to pry, but his sadness somehow feels more… relatable, rather than gloomy; it brings out in Dionysis a sympathetic feeling, and a feeling of connection and kinship. They don’t know exactly what it’s about, but they wonder if maybe Charon is the only one here to really grasp the tragedy of this realm, as they see it.

Which is the last big thing about Dionysus’ stay. They detest suffering and cruelty, even as punishment for cruelty. And whether it’s childishness or stubbornness, they detest death, and the idea that so much is lost because of it. What god was it who decreed that all memories must be lost, permanently? And who stated that ‘justice’ must exist – that those who have caused suffering must have it inflicted on them, as well? If the gods have the ability to create a heaven, a place of reward, why are they arbitrarily denying it to others? That is deliberate cruelty, as much as any other. This all is the other reason they will never entirely fit in, here, and why they still do not see eye to eye with Hades, however much they believe he is well-intentioned. They refuse to accept death; they want to fight it, desperately, helplessly. If they had the power, they would wipe this realm all away and replace it with that heaven, and only that which would allow humans to enter there (and leave, if they choose). …or so they think. They aren’t confident enough in their views to say any of this, yet. I’m a little surprised there weren’t more options to express these sorts of ideas; the MC can be horrified at the people on the dock, or feel sorry for the man in the trial, but there’s no option to question why things DO have to be this way. Though I understand that that might imply to players that they’ll be able to change things, which… would be a fuckton of work for you so I have no expectation at all that that’ll ever be a thing, hahaha :’D

In terms of other, smaller things I noted… When Hera basically says that Demeter is reneging on her duties, I’m surprised there wasn’t any option to get defensive on the MC’s mother’s behalf. Hera doesn’t… really entirely come across like a perfectly objective observer, here, and it’d be easy for a more suspicious (or more loyal) MC to suspect Hera is at the least being too judgemental of her, or painting her in a deliberately bad light. Dionysus would be polite no matter what, hahaha, and it’d hardly be a Good idea to be rude to Hera, but it struck me as an option that I expected to exist!

Oh, and after I went to help with the prayer, it told me that I could visit Hypnos, talk to Hera, or just leave the situation be. But there wasn’t actually any option to do neither of those? I wanted to visit Hera so it’s fine, but it seemed like that should’ve been an option but wasn’t.

And!! When we got the chance to ask Hades about himself, on the walk with the dog, I didn’t realise that we’d only get one question. I felt a little bad for only asking about his family and not, like, what he likes to do for fun, or something, which I’d ask if I could just pick one.

And I think that’s it! In short: I’m enjoying it a lot, hahaha. I might go back and try to romance Charon or Pyri (or everyone??? n.n;; ) next time! And I’m looking forward to the next chapter! My expectations are deliberately vague, haha; I have no idea what you have planned so I don’t want to anticipate anything specific. But Dionysus is definitely being challenged by this place, and is growing, and there are some very fun places that could go! And we’ve already covered how the romance with Hermes is gonna end in a trainwreck unless one (preferably BOTH) of them can get their shit together, hahaha. That’ll be fun :DDD

Oh actually one more thing: I did find some typos and the like which I could maybe share if you wanted?

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Patiently waiting for Hades to flirt back with my MC :weary:

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Oooohh, you’re not the only one. :face_with_peeking_eye: :face_with_peeking_eye: :face_with_peeking_eye:

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My hyper-flirty Persephone: I love being married to Hades.:smiley: Love to kiss some day.

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Hey, thanks for all these thoughts! There’s a couple things I’d like to clarify, and two I’d like to ask you, if that’s all right by you.

First of all, I really appreciate all the feedback. I think some of the places where you’re pushing in this critique are ones I could stand to clarify. Some will probably come up eventually in-game, others might not.

With respect to the gods and why the “system” of life and death works the way it does, Greek deities are generally not portrayed as omnipotent. There are things they can’t change, and the fact that mortals die and are reincarnated is one of them. There are larger forces at work, and wiping out the world and remaking a universal nirvana or heaven is just not… possible for them. It will turn out that the PC is capable of pressing on some of the world’s boundaries in a way other deities are not (due to their human heritage), but the other Chthonics are quite literally doing the best they can with what they’re given. This is just a matter of what the FoA universe is like.

I’ll look at adding some defensive of Demeter options, certainly. There’s one for being worried about her, but I hadn’t thought of interpreting it like an accusation (but you’re quite right that Hera isn’t perfectly neutral about things by any means).

As for the two things I’d like to ask, if you’re amenable: where exactly did Hekate say the thing to that effect? Because if she did it’s very much a mistake on my part. I hadn’t intended her to be unsympathetic to a PC having an issue with violence at all! But I just skimmed over the scene and didn’t spot it.

Secondly, if you wouldn’t mind sending me the typos, I’d be happy to get them.

Thanks so much for all this feedback; I’m going to be mulling some of it for quite a while, I think.

As for the Underworld and making it a less dreary place, I will say: don’t give up on the possibility just yet. Character development has yet to have its full say, and the state the realm ends up in is a matter of character development to a large but not absolute extent. :slight_smile:

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@bric, @r11sipuuro, and @AkaneTheAssassin: The choice of whose route to end up on will be next chapter. After that, there should be an uptick as character develops. I do appreciate your patience whilst the slow burns continue to simmer. :slight_smile:

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I have to say this is really fun story, I love the breadth of choices in how you can respond to different things.

And I can’t wait to see more of the story, keep it up you are doing great!

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Just finished reading the demo, i love it so much i can’t wait for the next chapter

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Hi, yeah, no worries!! Sorry, I realised I was sending you a big block of text but I didn’t realise it’d come across as so much critique;; I really wasn’t thinking of it as a negative comment overall and I’m sorry if much of it came off that way! I just tend to have a lot of Thoughts about things I like, haha :slight_smile:

Oh yeah, haha - I fully understand that the Gods are limited in what they can do. But I guess the whole ‘doing the best they can do’ part didn’t really entirely come across, maybe, or all the options and reactions seemed overly… ‘welp, guess that’s the way it has to be :/’ Like, when Charon tells the MC about everyone forgetting their lives, the MC can say that it’s awful, but then Charon just sorta like, smiles? And apologises for the dreary conversation. And all the options are just reactions to having been told about it - nothing to have the MC be like… legitimately sad about it. Same sorta thing with the trial; I haven’t picked the option to object, which is maybe what I’d want, but afterwards the only real negative options are like ‘I feel bad for him’ or ‘this must be hard on you guys’ and not ‘it sucks that it has to be this way. I wish it didn’t.’

Maybe they truly are doing their best, but it’s not hard to get the impression that they’re maybe sorta… staid in their ways, and overly pessimistic about change? And obviously that is a VERY arrogant thing for a newcomer to think, haha. And maybe I’m misjudging what someone who’s grown up with at least some awareness of this system would think. I sorta regret expressing it the way I did; I’m sorting through my own thoughts about it all. And obviously I don’t expect perfect flexibility out of a Choose Your Own Adventure Game! But when Charon said that everyone’s memories would be lost, part of me just wanted to… find some way of preserving some of it, like an archive, for posterity; all that information and knowledge and skill, just lost!! And it’s a real testament to this story that I had such a strong reaction, haha! But I guess I sorta just kinda… wanted some more ‘it sucks that things have to be this way’ options, or ‘I wish there was something I could do to make things better’ or whatever. Even if that just gets the MC chided for naivete or shut down or whatever.

But maybe I’m just overthinking things!! Please don’t feel obliged to give my thoughts any more than cursory attention, if that, hahah;;;

With regards to Hekate, I’m talking about this line in particular:

“Today,” Hekate says, gesturing around the three of you to the courtyard, “we are going to be doing combat magic.” Her nose wrinkles. “Now some people think this is rather uncivilized, but those people have never felt in serious danger and in need of a way to defend themselves. Or they’re idiots, I suppose; I’m sure I don’t know them all well enough to tell which.”
Hermes snorts. “Or know them at all.”
Hekate shrugs. "Or that, yes.

Maybe it wasn’t intended to come off that way, and I fully admit that this is a… sensitivity of mine IRL, hahah. But while it’s not targeted at the MC, it’s definitely kinda… harsh. Sure, Dionysus isn’t uncomfortable with violence because it’s ‘uncivilised’, per se, but it feels like she’s a ssuming a LOT about people’s reasons for opposing combat magic.

And, like, when Dionysus is discomfited by the idea of wishing violence against the subject, Hekate seems a little impatient and dry - that’s totally fine!! He is being a bit unreasonable there, haha. It’s just that whole paragraph above that would definitely be kind of actually hurtful.

I could explain in more detail why I sorta feel this way if you wanna know but it’s pretty trauma dumpy hahaha so;;;; I’m not gonna do that unasked for.

But no worries!! Ahh, I honestly wasn’t sure how much impact we could have over the Underworld, but that sounds super promising! :smiley: Heheh, I’m pretty excited to see what I’ll be able to do, now…! :grin:

OH and this is totally random but I’m replaying the game with a different MC and I just realised something: I sorta struggled to explain why I felt like Dionysus and Pyri didn’t get along as well as they should, but I realised that it’s partially because there are no heart choices in Pyri’s first scene? Maybe this is dumb haha but given that everyone else got heart choices, when none of them showed up with Pyri in my first playthrough I sorta got the impression that the game didn’t think we got along well enough, or that Pyri didn’t like Dionysus well enough. And I worried that it was because Dionysus didn’t want to spar with them. But in the new playthrough I have a really friendly and outgoing Persephone and she didn’t have any, either, so it looks like that’s just how it is for everyone? (Or maybe there is such a choice and I keep missing it :'D) It kinda threw me that first time, though, so I thought that’d be interesting for you to know!

Sorry for still dumping so much text on you!;; I’ll try to sort through my screencaps for the typos!

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From what I understood she is not talking about violence itself, rather it would be that there are gods who do not see the need to take precautions for situations where they must defend themselves or a loved one, so they see combat magic as something wild but from my perspective it’s always good to learn something new even if you’re never going to use it.

sorry for my english its not my primary language.

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And while it is true that combat magic can be used for violence it can also be used for self defense since from what I understood in combat magic there is defensive magic and offensive magic so I think she is not talking about people who do not like to use violence but rather people (gods in this case) who do not see the need to learn something that can save their lives since as they are immortal and gods very rarely die it could be a reason why they think that combat magic is something uncivilized