Fell Star (WIP) [Updated 04/03/2022]

[Lonily]

There is a writing errror : 01chapter1 line 1379: It is illegal to fall out of a *choice statement; you must *goto or *finish before the end of the indented block. Also my previous save just sent me back to the prologue

[Player.Pk]

Thanks for catching the bug. I swear I fixed it not too long ago. Don’t know why it’s reappearing when it works for me.

As for the previous save going back to the Prologue, if you’re playing on Google Chrome, it has something to do with Chrome’s Cache. I’m also perplexed as well, as sometimes, it works perfectly fine, but other times, it takes me back to the Prologue so I have no idea what’s happening there.

[Lonily]

Ah thanks, no wonder that’s been happening a lot.

[Max_Jones]

Me after playing the demo…

[nuna]

If this was one of those Japanese webnovels, the title would be something like “I went towards the light, but instead of dying got resurrected?!” adasdasdasd

I really enjoyed this! The plot is very interesting, and the way we can shape our character is extremely immersive! I like that there are so many different combinations we can do, and it’s only just the first chapter. Can’t wait to be a zero-to-hundred motherhen for the homunculus child, family stuff is just my Achille’s heel what else can I say. Hurt/Comfort + all that previous stuff? Hell yes!

Also, this character is a Mood. Tired as heck? Bitch aren’t we all, and we haven’t even become Calamities yet!

[Takashi_Shin]

I think what I enjoyed your story and and what you wrote about what Mc said everyone wants to put a finger at someone and everyone wants a hero but they don’t realize that they don’t look at the bigger picture don’t get out of their comfort zone to realize something wrong or there’s something missing and why are we fighting this entity that we know only as the calamity

[ChaosBringerXV]

Absolutely love what you have here @Player.Pk. The pacing is perfect the story line is great with what we have so far. Can’t wait to meet the rest of the main cast. Keep up the great work
Also got some real venom(Harbinger) vibes between me and Shian(Eddie).

Now onto typo stuff

thrust missing an h

blade swap the g for a b

steer not stir unless they like going in circles lol

that is missing (as a being that never ages, even if you tried to.)
Hope these are helpful And I’m most certainly looking forward to the next update all the best.

[Avid_reader]

Something about playing as a villain interests me. I actually love what I’ve seen so far. I hope to see more of your work!

[rowsdowermobile]

I can’t wait to see how your story goes! As a lover of “I’m tired, let me die” MCs I’m already really liking it. Asol is a highlight too, not often the LG paladin is a softy. The relationship between him and the MC seems like it’s going to be really interesting.

[Takashi_Shin]

Trust me I felt the same it really hits the heart

[ChibiKittens]

Reading this demo is like seeing a giant cake behind an indestructible pane of glass. I want to read more of it immediately and immensely ;^; I adore the character dynamics already, I had so much glee returning to the comments and realizing that we would get to see Asol again, he just seems so honorable and genuine and sorrowful. I may not have met the other ROs yet but I’m already aiming for him, just… the angst potential, the intermingling sorrow from the burdened hero and the reluctant villain who only desired to rest (as I am playing), has caught me.

Also, Shian! They seem so despondent from what little we have seen of them so far, what more motivation for an equally despondent harbinger to rekindle their motivation for life? What more motivation to turn on their own morals to protect this small innocent (especially since their life-forces are interdependent)? I can’t even begin to imagine how many potential possibilities there are from this dynamic, it could go anywhere honestly and I love that.

And these aren’t even ALL the major characters yet! Like, there’s more?! This is already so awesome that I can’t imagine what else could happen and what other interesting characters could appear, but if future updates are anything like the current demo than I cannot wait for it!

[Just_a_random_hunk_o]

Interesting concept, however I think some parts were unnecessarily long like the death part and the meeting of the divine part. I noticed that in these parts the points that we’re already made were reiterated over and over like how empty our mc is and how sorry that divine was.

[Ilikeeatingbarbecue]

I would personally feel fine with fine’t

[Takashi_Shin]

Okay time to get a little serious to you guys what is family is it the family you’re born in or the people who raised you grew up with since you’ve been around it the same thing with the country you serve like a soldier do you serve it because of your ideals or you serve it because you’re getting something out of it experience money respect a lot of things are used individual when they’re born and with the no experience in life no one is evil or good you’re an empty when they just get out of the womb they learned the adapt they see things that change them scarring moment in life or happy moment of being married the person you love a lot of things can change an individual they have things they view as bad they view things is good they have problems with someone else is morally wrong with the other person’s thinking with same to the other person and vice versa well if you looked at it if he discovered a new life on another planet what would be the response some would say oh they’re evil beings with a primitive heritage or you’re misunderstanding them because they might be from another Century or different culture that is the thing about the harbinger they don’t understand it they don’t like it they view it as a demon not as an entity that has its own morals and they constantly berated and not knowing it and just viewing it as evil without learning it because it’s a different species or they heard hearsay of how vicious and evil( I think I’m done with my little spiel I’m sorry for my grammar I suck at it what I’m really trying to say is use Everyone’s an empty box when they’re born what’s a present to them and I believe humans constantly hearing the stories of the harbinger what are character are mixed truth or lies there’s too much what if to figure out so it’s hard to judge someone that quick without learning the whole fact and not judge entire race based off of one person’s actions not every harbingers evil or this one either they’re different entities same goes for race or skin color or from a different country pretty much no one’s the same we’re all different individuals with different experience)

[Anna_B]

I haven’t read it yet, but the concept is really cool!
For the important characters, does their sexuality change how the romance will progress in a way other than who can romance them?
Also, I think you might be overcomplicating it a bit with all the different sexuality’s, but that’s just my thinking. You shouldn’t change the characters on my account, it’s just what I noticed

[Ferddai]

Best WIP ever. Period.

[Player.Pk]

@ChaosBringerXV asdfghjkl thanks you so much for finding those! (ಥ﹏ಥ)੭່ ･:*:･ﾟ☆

@Max_Jones @nuna @Avid_reader @Ferddai Thank you for showing interest in this WIP and thanks for reading!

@rowsdowermobile Soft Lawful Good characters are always interesting to romance (especially if you’re Chaotic, make them question their faith-)

@ChibiKittens tnsdfnaw Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m overjoyed to hear that you enjoyed the demo in its current state. You’ll definitely see Asol again, though, he’ll be far different from the one you met before. His route, as you say, is just full of potential angst. Star-crossed lovers, one might say. Twas only a glimpse of Shian, but we’ll see more of them in the next update. (Maybe get to hold their hand and give them headpats…)

@Just_a_random_hunk_o Thank you for the suggestions, I’ll look into those sections. (Curse my English classes of reading Hemingway and other famous authors)

@Takashi_Shin It’s amazing how passionate you are with the topic! Mob mentality is so easy to be swept into, as it’s easier giving in and follow the bandwagon than to rebel and go against the community that might turn on you. It’s scary, being alone, as it’s easier to give in and point the blame to others. Even if someone should speak up, would anyone be willing to listen? It’s everyone for themselves, is it not?

I agree with you how everyone is presented with an empty box at first, it’s filled with nothing but slowly, begins to be filled. You are not born to hate or love rather, it’s learned.

@Anna_B The sexualities’ of the characters will affect how the ROs interact with MC. Meidh, Ae-ri, and Divyan will treat MC the same no matter, whereas Cassiar, Freida, Iina and Asol will react differently to MC.

An example would be how a Female/Non-Binary MC will be able to be friends faster with Iina, Cassiar and Freida, than with Asol. Another example would be how more aware the ROs would be in certain situations, as the closer the relationship MC has with, let’s say Cassiar or Freida, will influence how the two ROs would react to MC’s flirting. If close, Cassiar and Frieda would find themselves embarrassed or interested, whereas if MC isn’t close and flirts, Cassiar would just tease them and laugh it off, while the flirting would fly over Freida’s head. In Asol and Iina’s case, Asol and Iina would be more flustered when interacting with a Female MC flirt attempts whereas for a Male MC attempt, Asol might take it as a challenge while Iina may flirt back and tease MC.

It might be complicated but it’s a challenge I’m willing to attempt. ^^

[ChibiKittens]

I will give them ALL the headpats!! (and vaporize anyone who places hands upon them again, and not just for our own sake >:O)

[HectorPX]

Okay, I already want to kill the people who revived me

[Cartman]

All I know is this I’m naming my mc Madara and nobody can stop me.