Favorite Stories from a Paradox Interactive Game?


#1

A lot of people on this forum seem to have played CK2 so I thought, why not make a thread about your favorite CK2 stories. I guess I’ll start.
I was playing as the king of France, with the all the major DLC, and I decided to join Lucifers Own. After about 3 years, I had a child I named William. William was bred to be the perfect CK2 child, a strong, genuis, attractive heir. So I continued playing, and I get an event that basically tells me that he is the spawn of Satan. I had never gotten this event before so I thought the game was messing with me, I didnt think too much of it and moved on. Years pass and William is finally of age, so I give him a duchy in celebration, because I had finally achieved the top rank in Lucifers Own. William then joins Lucifers Own and is immediatly promoted to take my place, because as it turns out, he actually is the spawn of Satan. In a rage I revoke his duchy, and he revolts against me getting many more troops than I can. He overthrows me and executes me in his dungeon. So I am now playing as a possesed cult leader and kinslayer.


#2

I got the trait possessed with one of my King’s and at one point he developed the trait “Gets Military Advice from Jesus” and received a plus 20 to his military score.


#3

I united the vikings to form the Empire of Scandinavia I also conquered Britain and reformed Germanic Paganism. Then a guy appears in my court with a claim on Andalusia so I go to war with the Islamic Empire that currently controlled it (don’t remember the name) immediately after conquering it of course I now have a bunch of Muslim vassals in my empire which is fine because they’re vassals to the new king not to me so I figured I wouldn’t have to deal with any religious rebellions, more fool me.

Within 20 years over half of my vassals including all the kings in Britain convert to Islam and demand independence because now they all hate me for being the wrong religion. That’s fine though I raise my loyal viking warriors and hire some mercenaries so I’m slowly winning until… the bloody Pope declares a crusade on me! So fine now I’m also fighting France and Italy, I call in the Jomsvikings and convince some of the other pagan rulers to join me.

Long story short I win, I actually capture the pope by laying siege Rome and I grind the rebels down till they surrender. I have held off two off the world’s major religions, the Christians pay me a bunch of money and I take all the Islamic rebels land so that all my vassals are proper pagans and like me… then my character dies want to guess which religion his son was secretly a member off? Yup that’s right Islam!!! Immediately after taking the throne some sod discovers this and reveals it to everyone so now all my pagan vassals revolt because I’m the wrong religion… AGAIN!!! At this point I’m just crying inside so I use the money I got from winning the crusade to hire MORE mercenaries but this time I’m outnumbered too badly cause all my levies and retinue are still wrecked from the last war so I barely manage to fight them down to a white peace. Then the Caliph declares a Jihad on me and I throw my computer out the window.

(No offence intended to members of any religion)


#4

I cannot describe how much I relate to this. Jihads are probably my least favorite mechanic in CK2 becuase of how OP they are.


#5

I could’ve taken it on with some clever strategies but I was broke from paying mercs and at this point my levies are so battered they’re probably just children with sharp sticks so I didn’t have the manpower. What made it even more ridiculous was my character was actually part of the Islamic Brotherhood and yet I had to fight both my official AND secret religions, it was just stupid really.


#6

I love CK2 just for these moments though, when the world is stacked against you and you have no chance of winning, but it makes for a good story so you keep playing. And then, by some miracle the person who declared war against you dies and his worthless successor takes over and surrenders to you.


#7

Haha yeah still playing now got my fingers crossed that Islamic coalition gets taken out by decadence revolts :smiley:


#8

Decadence revolts are great. Until you play as an islamic ruler and you get slapped with kinslayer for murdering half your family😂.


#9

Hell in the early half of this game when my succession was Gavelkind I had to do that every generation to stop my realm from being split into pieces every time my character died


#10

Its even worse when your playing as King Karl and you have 8 sons but cant change to primogeniture, and when you do all your sons and vassals have a -100 opinion of you except for your heir.


#11

Yeah when I changed to Primogeniture I had to fight a major revolt, fools attacked me in the Mountains though :grin:


#12

People tried crossing a river to attack me😂


#13

My favorite story is that I bought CK2 and got very excited about it, and then got intimidated by it. But I loved the concept.

So then I bought Sword of Islam.

And I still didn’t play it, but I was really, really, extra excited to play it.

Then I bought Legacy of Rome and I said, ok, here we go. I’m all set.

I still didn’t play it.

Then I read that The Old Gods is essential DLC, so I bought that. I still didn’t play it.

I’m very excited to. I know I’m going to love it. And that’s my CK2 story. So far it has given me years of pleasure stretching back four years.


#14

You should definitely start playing it. I reccomend watching Arumbas tutorial videos to start if your intimidated. Or you could just hop right into, and its Ok to fail in it, in fact, failing is probably one of the most fun ways to play. If your still intimidated, its OK to use cheats (i started out with cheats too).


#15

I’m just gonna leave this here because it’s hilarious.


#16

Pretty much every game of CK2 in a nutshell


#17

I wish I could take credit for this. But I just found it. Still one of the best CK2 stories I’ve ever read.

Short version is that someone managed to abuse a few quirks of the game system to end up ruling a rebuilt Roman Empire as a horse.


#18

You need to change the religious system so you can shove unnecessary sons into the Church!

I love how off-the-rails CK2 can get :slight_smile: There was the time I had the perfect heir lined up , I’d tutored him from birth, he had diplomacy off the charts and everyone loved him, and he only went and died of plague :frowning: Leaving me with his lecherous drunk of a sister. The moment she took the throne two different factions declared civil war and someone got the Pope to excommunicate me so the Holy Roman Empire declared war on me. (I actually managed to fight everyone off and bribed the Pope to unexcommunicate me but I did have to give Kent away)


#19

All hail Glitterhoof!


#20

I want to see how a Merchant republic campaign would go with you people I have a feeling I shouldn’t drink the wine, or be in high places or be in the same country