Fantasy Foods Ltd. (WIP) - Updated 25 April


#1

Flitted is a light-hearted fantasy that begins on the very first day of your latest job. The world is a little bit gaslight London, a little bit Edwardian technology explosion, and a lot fantasy. Many of the characters are loosely based (very, very loosely) on Welsh mythology and folklore.

I have a quite short little demo up, just to give a bit of the flavour. Feedback on the concept or writing style, or other suggestions, most welcomed. Link: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/gfdwx3ok5ap8dt6/Fantasy_Foods_Ltd.html

More about the game: You’ll be working for a company called Fantasy Foods, Ltd., abbreviated and then pronounced as FFLTD (Flitted). The company makes fantastic foodstuffs - both delicious and magical, available by direct order, catering service, and perhaps someday in the future, shop-front.

You’ve moved to a new town and taken a position either as an assistant director, head baker, chief production engineer, or receptionist of this fine, upcoming business, located in the rainy little town of Gwynnwy (that’s hwin-NOO-ee).

Warnings: May include cheesy puns, nearly undetectable attempts at dry wit, mail order catalogues, or old but trusty revolvers.


Totally Different Branches
#2

The concept is pretty interesting, with all these fantasy elements and Welsh mythology; I really enjoyed your writing style. :blush:
Pretty curious to learn more about the characters and the plot. :smile:
Is it too early to ask, if the game is going to have romance, friendship, rivalry aspects? :grimacing:


#3

This seems very promising! Good luck.


#4

I agree that your writing style is great! I love it, looking forward to more. :smile:


#5

This is really adorable. I love it already.


#6

Fascinating! Looking forward to future updates :smile:

Just one thing, here are some of the options I picked:
…> I instinctively dash towards the phone and pick it up; that’ll be my job, after all.> Luckily, I speak fifteen languages fluently.>…

I was wondering, how to avoid coming across the following scene:
You ruddy well do not, you cheeky blighter! You’ve applied at a bakery, not an embassy. Come on, pull the other leg. Now the phone is insisting loudly, "Segja eitthvað ! Þetta er mjög áríðandi!"

It seems to me that I am forced to pick the option “Excuse me, sir, but do you speak English?” I ask in my best polite tone of voice., like the MC can never be able to speak 15 languages fluently. Or did I miss out something?


#7

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I’m glad it looks appealing thus far.

@kitkat Romance: I hope so; that’s definitely not my forte when writing but I want to try and see how it goes. Friendship: Oh yes, absolutely. Also enemyship, on various levels. Rivalry: Between companies, certainly. Within it? I’m not sure yet. Possibly so.

@Keira I’m actually just in the middle of adding three other options to that second choice, two of which are multilingual. I also toned down the wording there quite a bit (in re-reading it, the narration in that one first sentence after the choice sounds even more rude than I’d intended. Oops, sorry.) I am planning to keep it so that your character cannot, in fact, speak 15 languages fluently. At least, not at this stage in the game. I don’t think it’d make sense in the context of the character and skill set. Thanks for the feedback!


#8

This was so adorable and charming! My only complaint is that the demo is short :frowning:


#9

Thank you. And yes, it’s only about 7000 words thus far…but I’m working on that. ( :


#10

I actually didn’t find the response to speaking fifteen languages rude! I thought it was funny. I enjoy the tone of this WIP quite a lot, doesn’t take itself too seriously. @RedRoses is right, it’s really charming.


#11

Is that Icelandic or something? I think I can just about make it out;

“Hallo, I shall ask to speak with the administrator soon. It is very urgent.”

“Are you still there? Hallo? Calls abroad are expensive you know!”

No? Yes? Maybe? Anyways, this looks highly promising. If this gets finished, I can tell it’s going to be good. Oh and snicker at the J. Dough. :slight_smile:

Lost a word here;

The girl’s blue eyes widen and she shouts back, “Well, I didn’t you trying to watch out, either!”


#12

This is amazing! I feel like once this story is done, it should be picked up as a movie. Although at some parts I couldn’t catch up (even though it’s just reading, I tend to click next before my brain processes everything I’ve read), I felt like I was transported to a whole other world! No idea why but a cross between the movie versions of Charlie and the chocolate factory as well as Harry Potter came to mind.


#13

Goodness, thanks for the kind words!

I’ve updated the engineer and receptionist options to include some more choices. Nearly done with this scene, and then I can get to that meeting with the director at last. Hurrah.

@SwanMaiden Good, I’m glad. That was my intent. (: I hope to include some more absurd choices with various effects later, too, not just in the character creation phase.

@MutonElite Good catch, thank you. Had an invisible ‘see’ in there.

And yes, it’s Icelandic, and your translation is nearly correct, aye. If you don’t mind my asking, what languages do you speak, then?

@orkwut Glad you enjoyed the little bit I have so far! Did you feel like I needed to clarify anything in particular, or add any extra text? Or is it okay as is? I was a little concerned about some of my word choices.


#14

It’s okay as it is! It’s more about the fact that it’s quite imaginative. I don’t mean that in a negative way though. Every ‘new’ world takes some getting used to in order to grip onto the details. I’m sure as the game grows, I’ll be able to catch up and fully immerse myself in Gwynnwy :smiley:


#15

Oh I dabble in a few… ^^

How did you get those special characters to appear in the game btw?


#16

Well…when I’m on my Mac, I have it set to just hold down a key and then I can pick from a little pop-up menu with alternate characters for various languages. I use the same thing if I want to type a word with accent marks, such as fête. On the Windows, I have to resort to having secondary pages up in the other languages, and then I copy and paste. Not elegant, but it still works.

Now, whether the non-English characters will cause problems or not when the game is compiled, if it ends up as a Hosted Game some day, I do not know. I certainly hope not.


#17

Oh. I’ve tried copying and pasting but that’s never worked for me. Oh well, thanks anyways.


#18

I basically agree with what everyone else has said so far, and your writing style along with the great setting makes the demo quite charming! I can’t wait to see more of it! Would you be willing to give us any hints about how you think the story might progress?


#19

If you need reference information for the mechanic’s path, I am an engineer so feel free to ask.


#20

@MutonElite In that case, I suspect the special characters may show up properly thanks to @CJW 's marvellous IDE (although again, in the long run, they may break something). Maybe give it a try?

@alliebee I’m so glad you enjoyed it thus far!

And yes, certainly, I love hints myself. What kind would you like? Off-hand, I can say definitively that there will be a duchess, a school, espionage, a robbery, some interns, and international travel. Oh, and probably more bad puns.

@Crotale That would be AMAZING. I am definitely not an engineer; I only get as technical as wind-up music boxes or basic electronics. So, I spent quite a while trying to figure out if something I did for the engineer’s path would actually work… specifically, whether shooting off the safety valve could potentially release the pressure safely, or whether it was a sure fire way to blow oneself and half the rest of the factory room to smithereens. Plus a few pleasant hours of research on steam engines, hydraulic presses, so forth. Please feel absolutely free to point out any technical errancies on my part. I would deeply appreciate it. And I certainly will ask, next time I get stuck. : D