Normally i dont do this, but as of lately i have been really down and just want to know has anybody else been through this and if so has it got better? or any advice. The reason why i am down is because my family is mean to me and takes me for granted and gives me no support when i do things . First i live with my dad and mom after since my poppop died (r.i.p. was the glue of this family), but getting back ever since he died, it has been just me and my dad and mommom normally sometimes other people, but anyway my senior of high school my dad started a business ( whichba business normally takes e to 4yrs. before it shows profit) but his didnt even make the first year, so he started asking me for money to get to work and i co-op in school so o was like sure. Next he started asking all the famy for money and instead of paying the bills he put it to his school, so thats when my mommom ask me for some money because she needed to pay the bills so im like sure. Then things were going okay till i graduated, i had two track and field half-scholarships one was to Virginia. So im happy that im going to college (im like i made it!). But no thats when my dad started doing really bad with his school so i us my graduation money and got a job because we didnt have food in or house, so some nights we barely ate and my mommom only had money for the rent, so i use my money to help with food. So over that time period i look at the colleges interested in me and they told me how much it cost for the acceptance fee $500 im working so im like no big deal, and my dad saod give me the money I’ll pay them, well sbort story he didnt and everytime i ask him for it he would call me names and try ro fight me, i was taught to respect your elders so i never faumt him but i did defend myself since i know how to box a bit, but so mich abuse mental and physical which i suffer from as a kid cause me to have really bad depression and stomped me from doing tbe things i love. Also to i have been giving my dad money since i was a kid till now if he needed help or i see that the house needs something, but lately i dont have a job because it was temporary and they wanted me to do premenated but the place is to far, so now when he asks for money and i say dad hold on or i dont have it he trys to hit me and thearting me and he makes me look bad in frontof other people, since people think he is a saint but the dont know that he is not. And him doing this is making things unbearable. Than my mommom when my daddoes this says it my fault that im not this and im not that and then when my family holds get togethers that i dont know about she expects me to pay for everyones food when i have older cousins who work that dont put a dime to anything. And now its getting worse for me to where instead of showing my feelings i just feel indifferent to life, and instead of feeling sad, i just vet super anger and the way im going is making it hard for me to write songs and draw and just life my life, and lately havent really been hanging put with people because i feel like the state i am in, will bring others down. Plus i dont really mess with people like that because all they do is party and thats not me party here and there cool, but thats why im on here because it takes me from the real world i live in and comforts me because i see other people on who like the same as me.
Sorry if this doesnt make sense to anyone, when i get upset i tend to ramble😔