Exiled from Court (WIP) (UPDATE: September 29th)

In general, I enjoyed the demo! I think it’s an entertaining story and the MC is interesting.

A couple things I noticed:

  1. In the affair exile option, doesn’t that have sexual orientation implications? It didn’t bother me any because I’m a straight woman and prefer to play as straight women, but idk if it’d bother someone who isn’t? (Alternatively. See 3)
  2. I kinda would’ve liked to be able to respond to Evie’s “Don’t you feel guilty?” Or at least be given the option to (and have staying silent as an option as well). Because no, my MC doesn’t really feel guilty lol. So why would I spare her feelings?
  3. I felt a little weird about the whole commentary that MC doesnt want to get married because MC doesn’t love that way/have those kind of feelings for people. It was giving me aromantic vibes… that could be a place to let the player designate their sexual orientation, actually, including same-sex if you put stuff like “I’d always been attracted to x and being with y confirmed that” and/or “I realized that I didn’t have feelings for y because I’m attracted to [other gender]” - and maybe also give an option that MC DID have feelings during the affair by having an option like “I’m attracted to [gender] and found myself falling for him” and an additional option like “even though I’m attracted to [gender], I never had feelings for him” or something like that?
  4. (Shouldve been earlier in the list but oh well lol) In one of the earlier sections, I think the first time the MC’s full title is mentioned??? there’s a typo that said Barontess instead of Baroness.

I hope that stuff makes sense?

Hope your computer is fixed soon because I’m definitely excited to read more!!

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It does have sexual orientation implications. It was also really confusing because fiancee is only used for women so I picked the option expecting a woman.

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Ah, thats a good point. I think some people don’t even think about the whole fiance/fiancee difference. I forget about it sometimes still even though I know it’s a thing lol.

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At this point in English I would argue it is totally fine to just use fiance for both men and women because people use it interchangeably so often and English does not necessarily gender nouns, but fiancee is a pretty rare usage so that I only ever see used to acknowledge the traditional French gendering of the word (a lot like blonde vs. blond).

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I ended up buying a new computer, and an update is probably coming this week, if all goes well! One of the exile routes I’d written were in my old computer’s hard drive, which I thought was salvageable but it is not, so here’s to rewriting scenes :sob:

I don’t see the issue, if I’m being honest? I don’t understand how picking the affair exile route is any different than choosing to romance a male RO, or choosing to have a crush on Juju on the second exile route. Yes, it implies you like characters of that gender, but why would that be a problem? If you’re not interested in playing a Hedonist who’s attracted to men, then why would you pick that option in the first place?

Oh, don’t worry, this is definitely not the last time you and Evie are going to have this conversation!

While I understand where you’re coming from, I did not write that with a aromantic Hedonist in mind. Personally, I interpret that as the Hedonist not feeling like they’re capable of love because of…well, a lot of different reasons, but mostly because they’ve never truly allowed themselves to be put in such a vulnerable, difficult position.

As to sexual orientation, other people have asked for me to add that choice, and though it’s not 100% settled, I probably won’t do it. It just always reads as ham-fisted and awkward, and I don’t really see the point - the game will never assume you like or dislike certain genders unless you’ve indicated such a thing with previous choices (for example, the exile affair route).

I definitely didn’t! lol I’ll fix that so it’s not confusing, and the Baronetess error too!

Thanks for the support and kind words. :slight_smile:

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Well, as I said, I picked it because I thought it was going to be a woman but assuming you’re going to fix that I’m going to suggest a couple more considerations:

  1. Could we not have had a sexuality choice and have the fiance’s gender change appropriately? You’re limiting the replay value of your game by having it be specifically male.

  2. If you do keep Evie’s fiance male, then do you also have plans to include special routes specifically for wlw and what do they look like?

Sorry, no. EfC will have 6 different ROs: three male, three female, all bisexual. And I’m not sure how much Harry remaining a man limits replay value…? There’s already four different exile routes, that’s four different playthroughs right there.

Here’s the Tumblr ask I go into a little more detail into all the different ROs! The reason ROs haven’t been mentioned in this thread yet was because I decided to only talk about them once each one appeared, so there wasn’t a huge focus on romance options from the get-go, and people could give me feedback on other things.

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Hello! Let’s get straight to the point: What I loved the most about this WIP, was MC’S personality. I hate when WIPS have the MC’S personality be as moldable as clay, so for them to actually have one already built is wonderful! They make me remember to Kuzco (that Disney’s cartoon show) because he’s just as arrogant.

Will it be possible for MC to become a more humble person at the end? I know it’s cliche but, What can I say? I love that character trope. Best of luck!

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Sorry to hear about the lost scene, but I’m glad to know you’ve been working on getting back into swing. I know you’re probably anxious to get back on top of things, but it’s okay to take a little time to adjust–who knows? Maybe you’ll make some small improvements you didn’t think of for the original at the time. A new computer to work with is a pretty good reason to be optimistic. I’m cheering for you, Beeanca! :grin:

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You are not the first one to make that comparison! I love Kuzco and the Emperor’s New Groove, though I have to admit the similarities were completely coincidental lol Still, I welcome them with open arms.

Sure. The Hedonist will never be a humble person per se (it’s just not on their DNA), but they can definitely ease up and become more empathetic as the story progresses, if you so wish.

Thank you! It’s definitely frustrating to have to rewrite, but you are right that this is a chance for improvement!

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Oh man. You know what’s great about this book? I can literally imagine the accent in my mind and sort of act out the mc as I read. It’s hilarious. Good job with that!

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I think the game is amazing so far! I can’t help but find my MC a huge asshole, but he is fun! I am interested and excited about the plot and also with the fictional Brasil!!

(eu também tô muito feliz de ter encontrado outro brasileiro por aqui, sei que dizem que estamos em todos os lugares, mas a sensação de camaradagem permanece :upside_down_face::upside_down_face::upside_down_face:)

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Guess who just updated!!

For those who don’t follow me on Tumblr, my apologies for the sudden absence and lack of updates. My computer had broken, but now I’ve bought a new one and I can finally get back on track!!

This update includes:

  • The third option as to why you were exiled (cult exile route);
  • The fourth option as to why you were exiled (ruined a noble’s life route);
  • More fun and totally not passive-aggressive sibling interactions;
  • And more, probably!

I hope you enjoy! I will admit I’m not too happy with the two last exile routes, but that can be fixed in due time. Please tell me your thoughts! :slight_smile:

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Welcome back! It is great to see you again.
Just read through the last two routes and I think you did a great job.

Cult exile was emotional to be honest. One might think that witnessing something like that could change the behaviour of the MC because death is a crucial part of life. In my opinion it may affect the young MC’s mental state. I suggest decreasing the intensity there. Like hauling all cult members together and binding them with chains before marching them out or something. I completely understand if it stays the same. Mine is just a suggestion.
For the last route, I am on board with the mindset of the MC. I can see why it is planned and done and it fits the personality of the MC completely.

Keep up the good work and stay safe.

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I like the intensity of the cult route. Don’t soften it because some people can’t handle it.

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An update! What a great morning treat!

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i absolutely loved Caunera’s choice. It reminds me a lot of Guerra dos Canudos, and I love that piece of history from our country, no idea why, it just always fascinated me. I wanted to choose the “getting revenge on a noble woman for petty reasons” because it seemed more in-line with ny petty, dramatic hedonist, but Caunera was just so very well done I just couldn’t resist.

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I didn’t say I don’t like it or I couldn’t handle it. My point was for some people, it may be hard to understand that how can someone who witnessed that much violence still live like a hedonist and I did say I understand if nothing changes.

so the hedonist’s a either a little bit or a total jerkwad in all the routes except the one where they get involved with a cult in which case the leader turns out to be good and the mc turns out to be actually innocent.. hilarious

so, summing up the other routes, mc’s a heartless monster who purposely and remorselessly ruined their friend’s life in the juju route, mc wanted some petty revenge by causing a scandal but underestimated how much damage they’d do in the sienna route and was selfish, horny and uncaring of the consequences in the harry route (though at least they didn’t actively try to ruin any lives here) talk about a checkered past, heh

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