Exiled from Court (WIP) (UPDATE: September 29th)

Hello there. I’m Bianca, and welcome to my brand new WIP, Exiled from Court.

In Exiled from Court, you play as The Hedonist, a young noble recently, well, exiled from Court. It’s set on the 19th century in a fictional land called Albarzia, heavily inspired by Brazil during this same era.

Some things you’ll be able to do on Exiled from Court:

  • Play as male, female or non-binary, with your gender impacting the world around you;
  • Romance six different characters (three men and three women);
  • Deal with your problematic family;
  • Fight to be reinstated at Court;
  • Attempt to become a better person!
  • …Or spend all your time enjoying every single one of life’s pleasures.
  • And more, probably!

What I’m looking for feedback-wise:

  • Odd sentences (I am fluent in English, but it is not my first language)
  • Grammar mistakes/coding errors;
  • Is there something you wished you were able to do or say, but the game didn’t let you? Tell me.
  • Anything that put you out of the game; a scene that was too fast, some weird dialogue, etc.

Try the demo here: https://dashingdon.com/play/bianca065/exiled-from-court/mygame/.

We also have a Tumblr!

If you like my work, please consider buying me a coffee!

Check out my other WIP, What a Brilliant Existence!.

Updates
June 7: Prologue is posted.
June 19: A part of Chapter One is posted.
June 30: Another part of Chapter One is posted.
August 25: The last part of Chapter One is posted.
September 29: A part of Chapter Two is posted.

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Do you want extremely specific feedback or more generalized feedback and targeted grammar? And if it’s the extremely specific variety, may I send it to you instead of posting it here? I wouldn’t want to sound nitpicky, haha.

Edit: I’ll just go ahead and make a specific list for now to message you and if that’s not okay, let me know. :smiley:

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What a hook! This is why I enjoy your writing. I look forward to future updates. :blush:

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I enjoyed the prologue it’s great so far.

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The demo was splendid, and I look forward to reading more once it comes out.

I find political intrigue riveting. Will there be of much of that in this novel? Will you be able to influence the politics of Albarzia and create a name for yourself?

Thank you and keep up the great work. : )

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Can we meet Brás Cubas? :joy: The MC and him sure would hit it off.

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Oh, that’d be excellent! Please go ahead with that!

Thank you!! That’s always nice to hear.

I do enjoy some political intrigue, I have to admit. As to your question: yes, you’ll be able to rise from being a Baronet/Baronetess (aka the child of a Baron) to something a bit greater. Though that comes with a bit of sucking up to the Emperor :wink:

omg I hadn’t even noticed the similarities until you mentioned it! They certainly would, wouldn’t they??

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Maybe it’s different in Brazil during the 19th century, admittedly I’m not sure, but the child of a Baron is just called Honourable whatever their name is, rather than Baronet/Baronetess, no? A Baronet/Baronetess is a smaller title entirely distinct from a Baron or Baroness and their progeny, I thought. Unless of course I’m wrong, which is entirely possible, haha.

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Hi! I really enjoyed the demo, and I look forward to more!

Just a little note on peerages and courtesy titles, though.

@my.quothy.raven is correct. The wife of a baronet is Lady So-and-So, whereas a baronetess is Dame So-and-So. A baronet would be Sir So-and-So, while their children are Mr. and Miss So-and-So (eldest son and daughter present are Mr. and Miss Lastname, and all younger siblings are addressed as Mr. and Miss Firstname). This is because a baronet’s children are accorded no courtesy titles, due to how low in the ranks a baronet is–which is between peerage and knighthood. A courtesy title is an extra title that a noble has. For example, a duke might also be a marquess; because his secondary title (marquess) is below his primary title (duke), he is allowed to “lend” it to his eldest son.

“Honorables” were the children of barons. It’s also unlikely that children would inherit their parents’ titles while those parents are still living.

In short, the style of the MC should either be:

  • Mr. Coelho Barreto
  • Miss Coelho Barreto

Their parents would be Sir (first name) Coelho Barreto, Baronet of Coelho Barreto and Lady Coelho Barreto.

However, it is your story, so you should do what is best for it. Good luck! :relaxed:

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This seems like a very interesting novel.I’m eager to see more.

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Interesting premise, I always like playing seductive MCs! I obviously seduced the carriage driver and appreciated the clarification that it wasn’t a sexuality choice, though I probably would’ve done it even without the clarification lol. Which brings me to my question, will we be able to define our sexuality later on? I saw the question on tumblr about whether or not MC would have to be sexually experienced and you said:

The Hedonist is very much their own person, especially during the beginning of the game - which means a lot of things can’t be changed, including their sexual experience.

Which is fine by me as long as we’ll be able to choose who we were with. If there’s a genderlocked character we have to have a past with (that doesn’t match our sexuality) I hope we can choose why we were with them, like we were confused, experimenting, or hadn’t realized our sexuality yet.


I have a minor nitpick about the female hair options. We can only choose between curly or straight, but guys have 7 options for their facial hair lol. A wavy hair option would be nice, and one for MCs with naturally curly hair rather than ones who curl it to keep up with the trends. Something like:

  • Which is why I curl my hair.
  • Luckily I have naturally curly hair.
  • My hair is too short to curl, or else I would.
  • My hair is too short to curl, but I wouldn’t curl it even if I could.
  • Though that hasn’t stopped me from keeping my straight hair.
  • Though that hasn’t stopped me from keeping my wavy hair.

I have no idea if it was a taboo for young women to have short/close-cropped hair back then, but if MC is a hedonist I don’t think they’d care :laughing:

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Thank you and @my.quothy.raven for the clarification! It appears my research wasn’t all correct lmao I’ll think about whether or not I’ll keep the Baronet/Baronetess title. The fun part of a game like this is that I can just choose I’m right if I want to hahahahha But I want to try to keep things (mostly) historically accurate.

Eh, maybe? I’m usually not a fan of sexuality choices, but, considering the “seductive” stat, I might have to add one so there’s a distinct difference between what you’re telling your character to do and how they’re actually feeling.

This is such a silly mistake on my part, especially since I actually have wavy hair!! I’ll definitely add that.

That’s an excellent point, too. I initially didn’t add those options since The Hedonist tries so hard to keep up with the trends, but if you can have straight hair then why not go ham and add all sorts of customization?

Unsure about real world, but it’s definitely taboo in Albarzia :stuck_out_tongue: Like you said, though, I doubt they’d care!

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Very interesting so far!!
I would love an option to play as non binary if that can be added!
Otherwise a really nice start and looking forward to read more, the MC is my fav type of sarky asshole :joy:

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I have a feeling this could be a huge game and will be looking forward to updates!

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I…love this? I love the protagonist’s voice and how much of a dubiously loveable sleazebag they are. I love that you gave us such a strong opening scene and then followed that up with a reasonably short but vivid description of the city. I even loved the small detail of Evie wiping sweat off her face, because it made it feel like these characters were actually living in and affected by the world, which we know is super effing hot right now.

TL;DR: You seem like a very skilled writer, and I’m excited to see where this goes!

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Oh! This has me intrigued. Solid prologue and the twist with good ol Dad getting into trouble should provide interesting drama.

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First of all, good morning!

Usually, I would only like your post, but your brand new WIP has captured all of my attention. Just as you - so I presume -, I am Brazilian. And one very interested in History. All of this ideia of yours, which I also believe to be inspired by marvellous Machado de Assis, is terrific, simply amazing.
Your way of writing is very interested and as a fellow writer - not of script games, but of what is traditionally called “books” - I feel the need to compliment your work, even if it is only in the early stages of it.
What I mean to say is: I look very forward to see your progress and I will give any help that I can, for I like to see creativity flourishing.

Most sincerely,
Susigan de Almeida

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Thank you all! I’m very happy people seem to be liking Exiled from Court.

This is actually something I’m currently debating with myself, and I’d love the community’s opinion - on one side, the last thing I want is to exclude and alienate non-binary people. On the other side, though Albarzia is a fictional land, it still bears a lot of similarities with reality, and, as far as I’m aware, no non-binary people were present in Brazil’s Court. I also want the game to recognize the gender you’ve chosen and react accordingly at times.

However, @my.quothy.raven gave me the idea for a pretty good compromise, and I’d like for any nb folks out there to tell me what they think: you get the option of being non-binary, but closeted; the problem with that is, of course, the pronoun issue. I’d imagine it’s an awful feeling to be misgendered in real life, and what’s the point of playing a game for fun if you’re going to be misgendered in it, too?

So perhaps a non-binary Hedonist would have to tell new people about their pronouns and identity, and it’d sometimes spark a conversation between ignorant/curious NPCs. (Plus, what’s more hedonistic than not conforming to gender roles, right?) So, while not being 100% historically accurate (I imagine), it still fits with the era’s gender roles.

What do you think?

Oh my God, thank you! What a bunch of flattering compliments hahahah I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed so far. And I very much welcome any help you can give me! It’s always great to see another Brazilian out in the wild!

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A well written prologue! I really liked the personality of the MC. It is certainly a different perspective.

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Oh, you’re welcome, but I only spoke the truth. What you are creating is very interesting. Any help that I can give you, is any help that you ask for - mostly.And yes, I must agree, is great to see another Brazilian over here, especially someone who is showing this creativity.

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