I think you can also publish independently on steam while also doing patreon if you want
2 Likes
Oh, definitely do what looks best to you! I was just throwing ideas around.
2 Likes
I’m not writing for money, so I probably won’t be needing patreon. As for Steam, I could technically self-publish there, but I’m not sure how to package choicescript as an executable. (itch allows html games, so that works for my use case.)
2 Likes
tbh the second one looks better imo
2 Likes
Agreed. I’m thinking of doing a new set over the next weekend. 
1 Like
I do like it. Does have that travel postcard look to it. Admittedly, all this art is merely hypothetical if I am unable to submit this title to Hosted Games… but making it is still pretty fun. 
4 Likes
I’m quite enjoying this so far - I started running through yesterday evening and was pleasantly surprised as I hadn’t played the first one. I’m only just through the prologue, but a couple of initial observations:
- I like your prose overall. It’s clean and to the point. The world seems interesting too (though I regret picking every option in the various ‘exposition’ nodes at the start - I think I ended up overloading myself a bit!).
- When introducing characters I think it would be helpful to get a couple of words on their visual appearance, especially when you go to the effort of outlining the character’s personality, role, rank, etc - it would help bring them to life a bit faster.
- Charity gave off a good impression as a character, I like how lively she seems.
- I found the combat system a tiny bit unintuitive kicking off - not in the sense that the options weren’t clear, but I thought the resource management of ammo and bombs was a bit tricky to intuit in a textual medium, especially with stuff like the bombs being unusable against the wyvern - in practise I felt like I was just sort of clicking buttons without the information to really ‘intelligently’ pick a strategy, if that makes sense?
Thanks for sharing it though - I enjoyed it and will continue playing at some point.
2 Likes
Thanks for the thoughts, and glad you’re enjoying it.
I’m still quite used to the light prose, but it’s a valid point. I’ll see if there’s anywhere I can add more character descriptions.
The combat system likely needs some overhauling, and I do admit it can get long and repetitive. I’m thinking of increasing damage on both sides to speed things up, and to throw in some surprises into the battle system with new enemies. It’s still at the planning stage right now, but I’m hoping to have another update in about two months from now.
Thanks again!
3 Likes
I find it difficult to immerse into the story and i tend to skim over the text for a few reasons:
The interactions don’t feel natural and I don’t feel any closeness towards the characters, I can’t quite put my finger around it just yet but i think it’s the management part and how you need to specifically select people to improve relations instead of having all of them incorporated as part of the story with few optional visits, it gets repetitive.
Battles/skirmishes are too simplified and small in scale despite enemy numbers, i think it should be incorporated into the story differently.
It could be better to prolong battles and include actual tactics and diverse characters to lead battles and feel loss of soldiers instead of just clicking a few buttons to send waves of infantry.
I think it also doesn’t make sense for one fusilier to be sent and kill 7 models, or for 2 riflemen and one fusilier to get up to 15 kills.
As such, it would make more sense to standardize the troop structure into the story to have battalion/regiment sized battles which are already given to you by the government.
Battalion: 300 - 1000 men, Regiment: 1200 - 3000 men (composed out of multiple battalions)
The story and pacing is rushed, from a few skirmishes to succession.
The there are too many features which make it “arcadey” as such, i think it’s better to include structure and management as part of the story in which you’ll build things up after certain events, instead of having them all on one page, soldiers should be requisitioned via recruitment instead of buildings.
The air battles are also repetitive, instead of making it a mini-game, you could give readers a few choices to make which decide the battle outcome.
This is just criticism without any malice whatsoever, it’s your choice as author to make your own story and develop the way you wish, I’m just offering my perspective and how i would have done it.
To sum it up: Battles should feel more character driven with consequences instead of a clicking game, Characters need more natural integration, and the pacing should be slowed down. Overall, reduce the arcade elements for a more story driven game.
2 Likes
The management/battle system was largely based off the system set in the original game. It had its fans and critics, and I have tried less management-focused styles for other projects, but I’ll probably still keep the system here. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, though.
I was actually thinking of cutting down the battle time as people reported that it got tedious. I am planning to adjust the plane battles for the next update, although I probably wouldn’t prolong it.
Partially gameplay and rule of cool. 
The idea is that your forces are better trained and have a defensive position which gives them the advantage.
This was always meant to be a hybrid story and management game, with a stronger gameplay lean. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but it was how I envisioned this series. I am experimenting with less stat heavy systems with my other projects, but there is that.
Fair. This game is on the shorter side, so the pacing is tight.
No worries. I deeply appreciate you sharing your thoughts, and thanks for taking a look.
2 Likes
Despite lots of criticism, it’s not to say i hate it or dislike, i do appreciate many things about this book, it reminds me of old gems such as Life of a Mercenary, the great tournament, War for the west, guns of infinity series… so many!
This one you’re writing has a TON of potential and it’s wonderful to see aspects of those old games in your story, even if they’re not intended, they remind me of them, the management, battles and characters.
I appreciate your dedication and the storyline is also quite fun, i will purchase it upon release.
1 Like
Stats after one month, if anyone is curious to see.
Romance is still a very popular tag on itch. If you’re planning to release a game there, take note. 
4 Likes
One typo I noticed: wouldn’t it be His Majesty, not his Majesty? Advanced past before screenshotting but it was when being chastised after the race in the prologue.
Also found this:
Capitalize House.
2 Likes
I think I standardized it as his Majesty for this game… although Mouse did correct it to His Majesty when copyediting my first game. (need to check) I’ll need to return to the first game to see how they edited it and standardize things accordingly. Thanks for pointing it out.
1 Like