Hard to imagine a female dracula
hard to imagine a female sherlock holmes either but we do a little imagining for the silly little IF, i’d say! it’s a nice change
you do make a good point. Maybe I should keep 8
Can’t say I have a problem with it. Perhaps try using the unstoppable power of your imagination
(But if you have more concrete feedback on why or where you feel this way I will listen.)
it’s a sign, please keep it (totally not pleading wink)
Nothing from me but praises for your consistent delivery of IF especially with Sherlock one, that was really good.
I think you should keep the eight. Yes, some readers might miss it, but only on the first run through, I’m betting.
This is almost exactly what I was thinking. Also, I think that maybe some people who would notice the first time through would be thrown off by “octet of torches” rather than “eight torches” which just kind of makes it more fun.
oh omg yes, i actually had the same experience while reading through it for the first time. it was why “octet” was stuck on my mind. i was thinking “what a slightly roundabout way of saying eight torches… but okay, this occurs during the 1600s so that kinda makes sense… i guess… but why is it italicized? is it to emphasize infinity and dracula’s hunger which is basically never sated like all vampires?” it got me thinking for quite a bit before moving on to the next paragraphs, then it suddenly clicked for me as soon as i saw seven and six in two separate sentences. it was a countdown, but to what? the MC’s eventual doom, obviously😆
haha, I think you and @AnneWest have managed to convince me—it will stay as eight.
I was curious. To keep the scope of the game small, most impactful choices are split into just two categories. Which did most people pick? (it’s just for me to see how the game is played tbh)
- Dressed in White (fleeing your family / wedding)
- Dressed in Black (fleeing a life of death and despair / funeral)
- Fatigued
- Scared
- Sad
- Angry
- Strong but weakened frame
- Delicate frame
TBH, more than anything else an emphasis on ‘eight’ will make me think more about the Moorcock/40k thing about eight being the number of Chaos because of the eight-pointed star of Chaos, etc etc.
Also, the ‘dressed in white to flee the fiancee’ thing has a definite femme feel to it, imo, since men’s wedding attire tended towards darker colored suits.
Mmm! I can explain my reasoning, though I suspect that it will always feel feminine in some ways to most modern eyes.
If I remember my history correctly, white at weddings as a “must” (in some cultures) for women is very new. Before then, it was more that you wore what was the finest you owned. Which could often be white or light because it’s hard to keep white crisp at the time, so it was a luxury to have such spoilable clothes (it could also be rich colours or fabrics or something). So, in this setting, I chose white for that path despite it being fem-coded today because it
- Contrasts well with the other route
- It has some historical precedence
- It has some connections to weddings — even if fem — it makes the modern reader think “weddings”.
Does this explanation help in sort of softening the blow? I promise there was at least consideration put on it because I realised it might be an issue
I don’t know why but i really like making a vulnerable character rather than a strong one for this. Kinda makes dracula feel more like a predator
We took the “damsel” in the title and we took it seriously lmao
The white for a male MC could also be a white uniform. Like for example the US Navy has a all white officer’s formal summer uniform
White could also be something also along the lines of this
This was so delightful! A very atmospheric and beautifully written snippet, I look forward to reading more (not that I expected anything less after reading your Sherlock WIP ).
I’m fully in support of white wedding attire, and here’s why: imagine Dracula tasting our delicious blood, staining our white outfit with crimson… Wouldn’t that look gorgeous? That’s mostly why I chose the wedding (plus I liked the idea of gay arranged marriage - how very progressive and regressive at the same time
). The white outfit also creates a beautiful contrast to Dracula’s dark attire.
I would go with betrothed instead of fiancé in the option; betrothed being gender neutral, and fiancé being masculine.
When I initially saw the word fiancé, I had thought I was choosing the MC’s romantic interest, due to the gendered wording.
I understand your view point but being honest the first time I read it I thought it was a flavored gender choice and not a wedding/funeral. That could be my wired brain though.
ooooh, I love me some great Vampire story I can’t wait to read more, it’s really good :3 as amazing as your Sherlock story <3 it’s only sad that the hot stuff is not going into the demo xD
Just read what’s out and I’m excited for more! As always your writing style is fantastic, I’ll be looking forward to what comes next