Donor [WIP - CHAPTER 7 COMPLETE, LAST UPDATE 05.27.2018]

gender-locked-female

#42

@Hope_Kibo Given that Richard is planning on eating Lenore and Paul is doing diddly about it, I imagine the chance of any positive relationship is kind of small. :confused:


#43

Thank you @Hope_Kibo and @KailasMenon for the feedback, I’m looking right now…


#44

@Hope_Kibo, @KailasMenon the bug should be fixed. Thank you so much for bringing it to my attention. Please let me know if you see anything else.


#45

I’ve been getting this request a lot, so let me be clear about what you can expect:

  • Paul may start to genuinely like you. There’s an ending where he’ll let you go, but this will be difficult to obtain. He’s far more likely to try to recruit you as a familiar (get you to hunt for him).
  • Richard may grow to like you, but he’ll never see you as anything more than food… or a particularly tasty pet.
  • In the book, Charles hates you, but I’m adding a path in the CoG script where it’s possible to win him over. This path starts in chapter3 - you need to be honest enough to realize he cared about Angela.

Again, though, no romance. But I don’t think you’ll be disappointed if you stick with the story. And thanks again for taking the time to read it!


#46

At first, I didn’t think I’d like this sort of game. As I don’t like the sort of reputation that vampire have gotten these days.

However, it was quite an intersting read. It allows choices (that you as a player) would do and some more “fixed” reactions as what the character Lenore would/want to do.

This has gotten me thinking more of what I’ve been thinking of recently. Of cosmic nihilism, and after the cute Quantum infinity theory with Paul it’s got me thinking about it even more. While what Lenore does and thinks is not what I would, it’s very interesting it “expirence” her plight as well.

This story has certainly got me thinking, I don’t really love being trapped in a room but through an fictional lense it’s intersting to see and portrail of mental illnesses and (probably) stockhome syndrome.

I’m interested in seeing more, thank you for sharing your work!


#47

Chapter 4 (Dinner Theater) is now complete.

Other Changes:

  • ~30k total
  • Added a journal to the stats screen to keep track of game changing events
  • Revised some of the choices in Chapter 3 to make things a little less linear
  • Small revision to Chapter 1 - Paul will ask you a bit more about your agoraphobia… and just might use this information against you later on :wink:
  • New personality trait added: Compliance/Recalcitrance
  • I got fancy with the stats screen
    • New Format
    • Enable/Disable stats messages in-game (you can turn off the bold stats messages now)
    • View Journal Items

I would loooove feedback. HUGE thanks to everyone who’s provided me with feedback so far.

Specifically:

  • Are the choices interesting/reasonable?
  • Is the pace too fast, too slow?
  • Page Breaks - Let me know if there’s too much scrolling
  • Dialogue - Do you enjoy the sections where you can ask the other characters multiple questions, or is this dragging down the experience? I have to admit, I’m a huge fan of video games where you can do this (think Fallout), but I don’t know if it’s considered bad practice in CoG.

#48

The dinner theater scene is hilarious. I got Richard up to 101 questions before bailing.


#49

@KailasMenon glad you enjoyed it! I was seriously considering adding a way out of the game loop for people with the patience to get Richard up to 50, for instance, but I didn’t actually think anyone would do it :joy:


#50

You should try it, if you have the chance! It could be a fun easter egg.


#51

You twisted my arm! Look for an easter egg in the next draft. :grin:


#52

Lenore was pretty tired of Richard’s bullshit so she called him out without guessing numbers. Although I will try to get this loop up to 100 now that I know what happens lol


#53

@cookiemonsta Don’t do that! There’s no easter egg yet, so it won’t do you any good :stuck_out_tongue:

I’ll put one in the next release, though, I promise.

And if anyone has an idea of what that easter egg should be, let me know… I’m open to suggestions.


#54

Hey guys,

I’ve noticed that I’m not getting nearly as much feedback as I was earlier, which is totally fine; I know this story isn’t for everyone.

But I am starting to get concerned that Hosted Games will ultimately reject the game due to lack of beta testers.

First, does/can that happen? How many beta testers are required for acceptance?

Second - and I know this is a huge ask - could folks let me know if the novel just isn’t working as a CoG? You can’t hurt my feelings, I promise.

Also, if people are still reading, could they just let me know? It’s super hard for me to gauge.

Thanks!
Elena


#55

I’ve been playing this game…ever since it came out, I think? And I kept wanting to comment but I kept putting it off, so I apologise for that.

Does/can that happen? How many beta testers are required for acceptance?

I’ve never submitted (or written) a game but I don’t think having had beta testers is a requirement. Many choose to have them because feedback is invaluable but I doubt there’s a cut-off. I may very well be wrong but I am 90% sure this is the case.

IMO, this does work as a CoG, but the typical CoG is one in which characterisation is more malleable and the plot is less straight-forward. It isn’t necessarily a negative that yours leans towards more set events (while obviously having variables). I just think it’s a specific taste that some may not have. I personally like it and I don’t doubt others do — I just think your audience may be slightly limited because not everyone has the same taste.

TL;DR (because that was a rambling mess): Yes, it does but as a specific type of CoG that not necessarily everyone enjoys.

However if we look at how many people accessed your demo, it’s a good 1.3k. That’s…not an insignificant number, even if we take into account replays. So I don’t think the concept isn’t working — it’s actually pretty catchy. These are just my two cents but I think that because you’re sticking with a set plot and character, you have to counteract that by providing more choices within the game. Maybe not every single choice will count and maybe it doesn’t necessarily have to add to the plot, but because you’ve already “taken away” the main choices, you kind of have to make-up for it, if that makes any sense.

I’m also not super keen on keeping choices stat-heavy. I don’t mind the Honesty/Deception because there’s many ways to raise those stats naturally within the text but I think that if you’re locking dialogue choices based on Intelligence or Creativity, you’re further boxing people into a strict path. Okay, that was worded horribly but my point is that, after you raise one stat, you’re basically stuck with certain choices (whether dialogue or action choices) and that, I don’t think, is working.

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, let’s move onto more positive things! I’d actually been in a CoG funk for a while and this game is the one that really caught my eye more than the other, esp because I love predator/prey dynamics in which the prey is underestimated. I also love Paul. I like how the pills influence actions and dialogue, esp the totally chill attitude that can result (e.g. I loved the dialogue choice: “Slow down, tiger. You’ll have to make me another drink first.”). I’m also really curious to see where the story goes next and each chapter never fails to disappoint, so please know I am eagerly awaiting Ch. 5 and that I shall endeavour to give feedback more promptly.


#56

@stuck_in_bed THANK YOU. This is phenomenal input, and exactly what I was looking for.

I’m going to revise the stat-heavy choices and remove the dialogue limitations for Intelligence and Creativity. I’d like to see those stats still “matter” in the game (if that makes sense), but I’ll find a way to do so without locking people in.

The first four chapters have been fairly linear (although I’m going to go back and revise now) as they’re the setup for “Act II”, but the story will start to split in Chapter 5 depending on whether you dragged Charles into Dinner Theater and how amenable you are to hunting with Paul. It will also be possible to die starting in Chapter 6, but I’ll make sure there’s a way to undo your last choice if you don’t want to end the game just yet (hope that’s okay?).

Again, thanks so much for your response. I’m really thrilled you’re enjoying the story so far :slight_smile:


#57

I’m not very good at giving helpful feedback, but I can give compliments! I actually really like the premise of the story and how your version of vampires work. Lenore’s addiction and how it will affect the story has also caught my attention, I find the idea on using Xanax as a way to give us different dialog (like depending on how much we consume) to be really cool. I also really like your characters, especially Paul. It’s kinda funny to me how he’s still quite a threat, yet he appears to be kinda a nice and chill person. I hope you keep working on this story because its really good!


#58

@PisceanLover Thank you!!! That was helpful feedback.

This being my first try at IF, I was starting to worry that people didn’t like the Xanax-based mechanics, etc (or that I just plain didn’t know what I was doing). So it means a great deal to me that you’re sticking with the story.

I’m definitely going to continue releasing chapter updates - been having entirely too much fun to quit :smiley:


#59

Yes! I am still reading! I am playing two routes, one having a high relationship with Paul and the other with Richard. So long I am enjoying it quite a lot, but the emotions towards Paul are kind of pissing me off. Because he goes as he is very friendly, and then boom! He tells you that he would enjoy killing you as well. And that let me “=/, ok, fuck you too Paul” :laughing:

So I will keep reading the chapters as you update, they are good fun :D.

I also really like the addiction mechanics, makes you consider what kind of way you want to follow and makes your decisions about how much to take really intense. You actually need to stop to consider what opportunities will you miss if you take to much or too little.


#60

Will there be an option to royally fuck up those bastards? Burn, maim, make them drink\inhale silver dust, something of sorts? Because my character is addicted, lying, creative little bitch and dosed high\low enough on drugs to think of things that will put God’s fear in those vampires.


#61

Thank you @Meira_Litch! Yes, Paul’s a bit of a mixed bag - in a lot of ways he’s more dangerous than Richard :wink:

So glad you’re still reading! Your relationships with Paul/Rich will definitely pay off toward the end.