I really liked your writing! The humor bits are really good and seem original, and the sword is arguably the funniest HG character
Typos and bug ish
You’re brain is having one of those ‘Error 404’ messages—reply not found.
Your
Blur smirks. “I like where this is headed, unfortunately Ember will kick my ass if she finds out that I’m interested with a future member. But I think it’sbe worth it,” she reluctantly leans back, her gaze dances from your eyes to your lips.
it’d
Scarlet perks **up—**standing behind you as she takes a peek. What you expected was a squealing Scarlet, running around the HQ, taking pictures at anything with ‘this item was touched by a hero’ sign. Surprisingly, Scarlet is well **behaved—**almost too well.
You glance at Scarlet, face all red as she avoids her gaze at Blur, eventually her eyes lock with **yours—**screaming with ‘help, I don’t know what to do!’
Oh and these weird symbols appear in few more paragraphs I forgot to copy
I actually found the update confusing af. From getting hit by a car (again) we then start talking to Godsin which leads us to choosing our persona which led us to fight a bunch of heroes and there are some mercenaries involved, apparently? I was worried about Scar and Selena but that whole sequence of scenes got me lost. I feel like you rushed way too much transitioning from one scene to the next.
Okay, just did the math… if @Bathala could drink 50 gallons of vodka or rum in 30 seconds… he would be able to drink 144,000 gallons in a day… he is a very amazing man, he’s probably a god.
The demo was interesting, somewhat different but still cool, I did get a bit confused at the start but it got cleared later on.
I did like that we could create our persona with the mask and so on.
But if ya don’t mind me asking What is the time skip from Scarlet/Max or Selena/Dante getting taken away, to us jumping off the building?.
Is this a spoiler? I don’t know but I put it there anyway, just in case.
