Curious Cuisine (Superhero/Cooking) (Cameo Contest on 1574/Mini Bio on 1613)

super-powers
nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice

#1602

New Bio:

Temitope Montgomery

Name: Temitope Montgomery
Codename: La Mode
Gender: female (cis)
Age: 44
DoB: May 19
Race: Black
Hair: dark brown
Eyes: light brown
Height: 5’5
FaceClaim: Kerry Washington
Costume: A golden or bronze domino mask and a catsuit of the same color, along with myriads of lengths of fabric floating around her if they don’t pull together to a tunic like garment over the catsuit. Knee-high silver boots.

Temitope’s been a famed opera singer (yes, she did play Queen of the Night, and yes, she can still hit those notes), and decided to go into politics shortly after the foundation of APORIA. There’s rumors that at least one of her parents is a Slider, but no one knows for certain.

She is as kind as she can be determined and focused, which has brought her good reputation in her professions. As La Mode she is a fabrikinetic with enhanced strength and speed.

She’s been one of the initiators of the Nightfall Initiative, alongside her husband, and her arch-rival Madame Tarantula. La Mode and Madame had both heard rumors of the two have them having had children and both felt it was their responsibility to do something against Odium for the sake of the coming generation.

Tem has always been juggling her careers and family, and by her own account it has gotten easier since the Grand Unmasking. She is currently determined to find the weakness in Scorn’s official image to finally bring him down.


#1603

Important question, people:

Is the formatting okay as it is? Because I’ve just been informed there’s people who won’t read it because due to me using *line_breaks it’s too taxing to read. (this sounds snarkier than it’s meant to be, sorry)

So, before I go and remove all the line_breaks, tell me what you think:

  • Keep the line_breaks, it’s ok to read.
  • Remove the line_breaks, it’s not ok to read.

0 voters

To elaborate:

This is about whether or not me using line_breaks in dialogue makes it unreadable.


#1604

Alright. I changed the first scene (train to post-office) to the new format without line_break in dialogue parts.
Please check it out and say if it is better or worse.
(personally I feel something is missing)


#1605

It’s less wall-of-text-y but i’m so used to the line_break format that the changed format is pretty off to me.

What does everyone else think?


#1606

Hm, I guess I find the new format a bit easier to read, though personally I didn’t find the old format hard to read either. I also find it adds a bit of character, the old format.

So yeah, new format is a bit easier to read; the old format adds a bit more character.

I would be fine with either one though, honestly.

Though if some potential readers truely are deterred solely by the old format, I think the new format would be a tad more favorable?


#1607

My concern with the “old” line-break formatting would be: how all the different devises handle it.

I don’t have the answer but I do know that some phones have issues displaying large text-blocks of italicized text, which is why that style is not used in official games.

I would be afraid that some devises would screw up the formatting. Although I guess @andymwhy has used this formatting in his games and has not experienced feedback saying there were issues.

idk.


#1608

I’m thinking, can CS handle
~
well?
then i could put those in place of the free lines I had for, well, pacing/flow/emphasis?
Would that look too odd?


#1609

i have my reservations with the “~” for a reader pause but i may change my mind if i see an example first.


#1610

I’ll rework the first scene to that tomorrow. I’ll let you folks know.

EDIT: Uploaded a new version now.
using ~ to signal thought-breaks was out of the question, as that would f*ck with screenreader.

on that note:
Anyone here testing with screenreader?

Edit 2: overhauled formatting in act 1 - 3 (some still needs polish)
Thoughts?


#1611

I’ll check out the new version tonight. Generally paragraphs are easier and faster for me to read, so I’ll report back if it makes a difference.


#1612

As a note for my poll vote: I’ll continue reading regardless because I enjoy the story and characters you’ve created, but it does take extra effort to read. The lines bleed into each other for me. It can (has) exacerbated my occasional double-vision, headaches, etc.

I have not checked out the updated version yet, but I will.


#1613

I’m currently updating everything up to act 6. Should be up in a moment.

Alright:
everything from act 1 to act 6 (leaving 6 and 7 and the bonus to be polished) has been overhauled.
There’s also some new variables added and some stuff fixed, so this has definitely had its advantages in any case.

QT and RT find no errors, but please report everything that seems odd.
Thank you


#1614

Sorta Update:

Overhauled everything but Act 6 and ch2/1 and bonus now, and changed the options for setting some of the kid’s variables in ch1 act 2 in all three locations to something active.

Also, the narrative itself gotten a lot more active (as in I altered a lot of “you hear someone say next to you” or “you feel a shiver run down your spine” etc)

Also the kid now has a fav tv show


#1615

There, everything should be up-to-date with the new formatting now.

Also, several new variables, some fixed continuity, some dialogue changes.
If you find anything off, out of continuity etc, let me know.


#1616

Alright people:

  • The contest is still going
  • the patreon clone is open and working
  • the next act is being written

If you have any feedback or questions, ask.
If some event in the story so far did not work out for you, tell me.
Gladly via pm.


#1617

This has been bothering me for a while; but can you explain the logic behind the relationships of everyone in Cornucopia is 0%? i’m used to see the relationship in 50% (which is quickly understood as neutral) that this is pretty new to me.

If this has been answered, please link the post with the answer.


#1618

Yay!!! I know what I am doing thus afternoon! :heart:
I am dying to find out what my kid’s fav show is, I love it when you add little details like that…it really makes the World feel all that much more real.☆ Ok, be back in a few with questions!!!


#1619

I’m trying to reflect the characters’ first impression of the MC. This part is in urgent need of overhauling.
Izzy an Marcus for example will react positively to an ‘oddball’ kid upon first meeting, giving a bonus.
Powerhouse (in the main game) will not have a good impression of you if you get rid of the stage.


#1620

/does the ‘i get it’ gesture/ Ah so it’s the character’s impressions of the MCs then.

And speaking of the stage, i’m now visualizing someone performing a kid-friendly version of one of the songs you mentioned in music theme song ask.


#1621

Have more example villain generals:

Rack & Pinion

Codename: Rack & Pinion
Name: Ethan ?? / Laura ??
Gender: Rack: male (cis); Pinion: female (cis)
Race: Black / White
Age: thirties
Association: Automatona
Appearance: Rack and Pinion appear in what has been described as ‘steampunk ninja’ by ‘Covering Cornucopia’, consisting of linen, leather and silk garments, interlaced with wires and gears.

Pinion has an electricity rifle hidden in her left, artificial arm, while Rack has a pair of energy- and dart-pistol up the sleeves of his forest green long coat. Pinion in addition has been seen sporting a pair of brass wings.

Rack and Pinion always appear as pair, though there seems to be a mutual rivalry going on between them (some compare this to MetaMorphia and FreezeFrame however). They are Automatona’s first choice when it comes to sabotaging the EMPeror or any form of resistance (guards, cameras, etc) at a caper.

They are regarded as a little off the rails but harmless

Rating: Level 7, Erebos (both)

Powers: Pinion is a bionic, while Rack seems to be a full-fledged tech-Chimeran, though this might be an untrue rumor. Pinion seems to possess minor electrokinetic and/or technokinetic skills, while Rack is an aero- and terrakinetic (minor ferrokinesis), seemingly specializing the latter into materials used in buildings.