I think to me it all boils down to encouraging vs discouraging. Whenever I post on someone’s wip besides pointing out mistakes I try and think about what I really liked and what drew me in. I always add that in because I think it’s important for authors -no matter how good they are at receiving feedback or how experienced- to feel encouraged to continue writing and like their hard work is recognized.

Of course, there is a limit to how much someone can do to have their feedback received well. As long as people try and make sure that what they send won’t discourage an author from writing or completely deflate them it’s enough though. To me, when feedback makes a writer want to stop writing that’s unconstructive. To be honest I don’t even think it’s done on purpose a lot of the time.

That’s why I think it’s important for people to make a conscious effort to think about how their feedback might affect the author. Not all toxic feedback is done on purpose, especially since I’d say most people on here (me included lol) don’t have any formal training in giving feedback. There are some tricks on how to do it well but even then, there isn’t a set formula. I don’t think there’s one proper way to give feedback in all honesty. So I think it’s just about remembering that these stories are all written by real people with different circumstances and trying to be sensible to that.

An argument that sort of gets thrown in a lot of discussions and this one included (though not by anyone on here I think) is that people need to grow “thicker skin” because once their work is made public they’re gonna inevitably come across harsh and downright insulting critiques. I don’t like that idea. It’s true and undeniable that there are some very blunt people and some who just want to tear others down. It’s also true that being used to those people helps. I don’t think that those that aren’t have some sort of obligation to become immune to their critiques though. It’s not realistic to expect authors to be able to dismiss all incredibly toxic critiques just because their work is public. It’s okay for them to be upset when receiving that sort of comments, even if their story is public.

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