Fair enough; it’s a bit late for Totem Force at this point (you can certainly go dark, but you can’t start dark), but I’m certainly not going to force you to be friends with Layla (or anyone else) in Countdown.
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I like you writing is direct and clear. My problem is the lack of admit other ways of thinking from what you have thought not enough interactive for role playing.
For instance in This I want choose what think of layla I DON’T THINK SHE IS AWESOME SHE IS LAME I DON’T WANT GO WITH HER .Iwant a choice to think she is lame lol what lame power she has
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Yeah; as I said, Totem Force is my first story, and I had started out with a pretty pre-set idea for the protagonist (although they can evolve in very different ways), something I’m certainly trying to avoid with Countdown.
Well, the circumstances of the prologue are somewhat beyond your control. However, in the next chapter, you’ll be able to choose whether to like her, love have a crush on her, or merely see her as a useful tool.
You’re just saying that cause you’re jealous. 
No really Mara think a blood dagger is stupid and even a normal human could beat her. Mara just go with her to save herself lol. Mara doesn’t know who she is but somehow She believes Superior to Bloody lame . I am imaging Mara as a pretty snob rich girl
A question: I’ve been thinking about making this game a little more mature than my other one (which is already a little dark). Specifically, I’d quite like to use more mature language in this game. What are people’s feelings on this?
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If that’s what you want to do go for it. 
Personally I was hoping the increased maturity would be because of more cute naked guys. 
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Well, the MC will be a couple of year older than the Totem Force one (i.e. 18ish), with ROs from 17-early 20s, so it’s possible. I probably won’t go into such details, though (that’s what fanfics are for ;P).
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Your concept of dark is way different of mine. 
But I agree with @idonotlikeusernames about nude cute boys are always welcome!
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To be fair, I never suggested that either nudity or foul language were dark. (Totem Force isn’t all happy, sugary rainbows…)
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Well maybe is not all sugary but has a lot of sugary friendship like a new little pony with violence
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I encourage it all mighty @ParrotWatcher
Idk if I’m the only one, but when she pulled a dagger out of herself it reminded me of ransik from power rangers lmao
With the current state of the US elections your title may turn out to be really prophetic @ParrotWatcher. 
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Well, I had thought proof that we were no longer the stupidest nation on earth would feel… less soul-crushingly terrifying… 
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Ugh, yeah, it’s time like this where I get why people hate my country, most of my fellow Americans are clearly idiots…guess I better get married in the next couple months before he takes it away 
As far as the language goes I don’t care either way, a good story is still good with or without cursing
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Somehow I missed this thread. Please forgive me 
I will have something to read “tomorrow” to console myself. (Along with ZE:SH in order to make me feel like the world I lived in is luckier by comparison.)
This is nice.
I have no objections to foul language at all, and if it is coming from a character who would reasonably expected to be use it then that would make sense. The main thing really is if it comes from the player character themself it should be able to go either way. But yeah, having the option could be nice.
Alternate world swears like “frink” of course have a good precedent.
And referencing a comic genre does mean #@$! type swears might fit in, if it wouldn’t be too silly. ^shrug^
More comments after I’ve actually slept and read your thing…
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Thanks. As I said, it’s very short, and there aren’t any cute guys in it yet, so I’m afraid you won’t be able to use them as a distraction.
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My suggestion: Add “The Final Countdown” as the opening song …
Funny you should mention that… 
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