Contest Entry: Tale of Two Cranes in Beta


#41

@TwoSharp The reason I thought Yǒngshì cannot be rulers or heirs as because of the scene when you meet Liu Bang and his family then go into Liu Yuan’s bio it says she would have been declared heir had it not been for the fact that she was born a Yǒngshì.


#42

@Shadowdragon I checked out the stat page for Liu Yuan’s bio (and this is probably because I wrote it so I’m biased), but it sounded fairly clear (to me) that it’s Liu Bang’s issue. This is the line I’m looking at:

“Many at court whisper how she would have been declared heir had it not been for the fact that she was born a Yǒngshì for which Liu Bang’s dislike is widely known.”

Suggestions on another way of saying this are welcomed. :relaxed:

I also looked at the scene where you meet Liu Bang, Liu Yuan, and Liu Fei. I changed the wording in the choice so it’s clear that she’s not the heir because her father doesn’t trust Yǒngshì. It is now this:

“Introduce myself, but focus on Liu Yuan. It’s well known that she would have been Lord Liu Bang’s heir apparent if not for his dislike of all things Yǒngshì including his own daughter.”

Is that better or still confusing?


#43

So I was playing through this again tonight at work and I was wondering…Will it be possible to break the connection with Chán Míng? I mean if I would have had a connection to a cute girl then awesome and I’d want to tell her we’re destined to be together…but instead it’s a guy and one that I can’t be rid of fast enough :unamused:


#44

@Lizzy Chán Míng’s connection to the MC is a main story point… and saying anything would be getting into spoiler territory, so, I must leave the mystery intact. :zipper_mouth_face:

I can say that at the beginning of chapter 4 you have the chance to decide your feelings for Chán Míng ranging from love struck to hatred (and this rightfully adjusts the MC’s interaction/relationship with him).


#45

I am curious about one thing and I don’t think anyone asked about this.

Are we technically immortal since our spirit animal is the Crane which symbolizes immortality?


#46

@MichaelCrank Sorry but the MC is not immortal. The crane’s symbolism is a result of human interpretation; the crane is very rare so each encounter with it has been dutifully recorded and from that the realization that it has always been the same crane agent. This is not the case for other Yǒngshì and their agents; with each Yǒngshì there is a new individual agent bound only to them, hence the interpretation that the crane is immortal.


#47

Ah thank you for making that clear for me. I was a bit confused on that part.


#48

I enjoyed playing the game but I got this error, ChpThree line 6368: Invalid expression at char 12, expected NUMBER, STRING, VAR or PARENTHETICAL, was: INEQUALITY [>]


#49

@MichaelCrank If you find any other confusing parts just let us know :smile:

@Kaiser Thanks for catching that! I made edits the other day and did this: => instead of this: >=. We’re still messing around with the stats :blush: and trying to figure out what’s a good amount to give (right now most choices just give +1). The problem should be fixed and I’ve updated the link.


#50

I also found this in the choices
He’s trusting me with such responsibility? I’m ready and willing to prove myself.
shouldnt it be “she’s” since the master is female?


#51

Hi everyone!

@SharpOne and I are happy to announce that we’re ready to begin beta testing for the next two chapters!

If you’re interested please check out the first post of this thread for instructions on how to join!


#52

Can I beta test the game?


#53

@HylaireDessalines1 We’d love to have you as a beta tester! :heart_eyes: To get access to the beta’s link just send a PM to myself (@SharpOne) or @TwoSharp with the answers to the four questions listed in the first post of this thread (right under the demo link). Once we receive that then we’ll add you to the beta’s private discussion.


#54

I would love to beta test I love doing that


#55

This is so nice! I’m interested in joining the private beta testing if that’s alright. I’ve only finished one playthrough ( devious/slightly altruistic/vindictive + smart mouth strategist on Xiang Yu’s side ) atm though so I’ll get back to you when I finished (or at least skimmed lol) the other routes. I’m in the middle of a calm and very altruistic mystic playthrough right now & have tried a mean sage too. I can see already that the game has a lot of replayability. Anyway, my thoughts & opinions:

General

I’m not very familiar w/ this period but I’m glad you used Ancient China / fall of the Qin Dynasty as the setting. It’s refreshing since most historical WIPs/CoGs I’ve seen here stick with the medieval western world or at least sth inspired by it. I’ve read somewhere in this thread that this vaguely reminded them of Yugen (a slightly similar WIP but set in Japan) and I have to agree. The premise is kinda the same but Tale of Two Cranes and Yugen give off different vibes and are going on different directions.

I don’t usually prefer first POV but the writing style, the world-building, and the choices made it immersive. It’s pretty easy to get into the protagonist’s headspace and I see a lot of roleplay options. I like that the name suggestions have meanings and that the chosen background affects the surname. I love meaningful names like that. I’m particularly curious how the scars and physical appearance would play into the story tho

Another thing I liked is the stats screen. IMO it’s in-depth but still concise at the same time? I dunno. Anyway, I’m actually surprised that the characters have their own relationship pages. If you’d like to expand on this more, I think it’d be nice to have a sentence or two that summarizes the MC’s relationship with that character too aside from the percentile stat. Though that may just be redundant and/or a bother to code.

I’ve seen few typos and punctuation/grammatical errors (I should’ve taken screenshots sorry!) but they’re not jarring and doesn’t take you out of the story. I’m sure they can be ironed out in the final editing process anyway.

Characters

Regarding characters, I love the banter between the MC and their master. The master is the pompous and dramatic type of wise and I live for characters like that tbh. But I did half-expect that different classes get different masters. It’s fine though; I like her! I’m curious to see if the MC’s chosen relationship/opinion of her would affect things in the future.

I also enjoyed the MC’s childhood friends! Fang Lan and Zhang Bohai do sound like 13 year olds bickering IMO. I’d like to knock Bohai down a few pegs tho because he’s such a little shit (I love it!). Fang Lan has heart and I like characters like that. I’m looking forward to reuniting with them and seeing how time changed them (or not!). Perhaps they’d even be fighting for the other side?

I found Lin Ninghong’s boundless optimism and stepford smiler schtick a bit exhausting but that’s just me. She seems slightly flat too compared to the other female ROs but I can see that there are opportunities for her to grow more as a character especially when under Xiang Yu. Speaking of Xiang Yu, I’m surprised his consort doesn’t have her own relationship page. Is this because she’s too minor a character if the MC doesn’t side with Xiang Yu?

I don’t know what to make of the Liu siblings yet but I’m interested in their dynamic. Chan Ming is also someone I’m interested in (mainly because of the other crane mystery). OT-ish but how old is Chen Yongrui (sp?), the ROs, Xiang Yu, and Liu Bang?

All in all, I think the characters are alright but could still use more flourish. What we’ve got so far seems to be a neat summation of their characters tho – that’s nice.

Sorry for the word vomit!!


#56

@Harley_Robin_Evans Thanks for the interest! Please send either myself (@TwoSharp) or @SharpOne a PM with the answer to the questions at the bottom of the first post in this thread (right under the demo link). Once we receive your answers then we’ll give you access to the beta’s link and private discussion thread.

@zenbu We’d love to have you beta test and thanks so much for the great feedback! @SharpOne received your PM and you should be getting access to the link soon. To answer some of your questions, the scars and appearance do play a minor role, for example, in chapter 5 if you’re beautiful with no scars you can pass an otherwise difficult skill check. For the consort, she is a pretty minor character in the story so we kind of put her/Liu Bang’s wife on the back burner while we work in 6/7/epilogue.


#57

I love the demo especially since it is set in ancient China :star_struck: Although I think it would be a tad bit interesting if there are some colloquial words incorporated in the text. Little details to help with the immersion :slight_smile:


#58

@bananawanker Glad you liked the game! We wanted everything to sound a bit more formal to help set the tone of the game and to reflect that era and the lords :prince: and ladies :princess: the PC is surrounded by.


#59

Finally found this again


#60

First of all: good luck with the contest! From what I’ve seen of this game, it’s definitely a contender.

Second: I absolutely love Wuxia and other Eastern fantasy setting, and feel there is an unfortunate shortage of them in the COG catalogue, so I welcome this game with open arms.