Contest Entry: Tale of Two Cranes in Beta


#1

Tale of Two Cranes is a (roughly) 400,000-word first-person interactive fiction novel by @SharpOne and @TwoSharp. (Please note this game is a work in progress and we intend for it to be a submission for the COG contest! As of 1/5/18 we only have editing, testing, and finishing up the epilogue! Interested in our private beta testing? Check out the info at the bottom of this post!)

A journey of a lifetime awaits you and it all begins with the fall of the Chinese Qin dynasty. War looms on the horizon as two Lords grapple for power and the time has come for you to pick a side. Liu Bang, charismatic and beloved by the people, or Xiang Yu, a veteran of war and respected by the military, both see a prosperous China, but through different means.

As an Imperial Yǒngshì warrior facing an unclaimed dynasty, you must use your divine abilities to restore balance, stability, and peace back to China.

Will you unravel the mystery surrounding yourself and the “other” crane? Will you set your gaze on the throne? Or will you seek to distance yourself from the political machinations of court life altogether?

  • Play as male, female, or non-binary.
  • Find romance amongst your closest allies
  • Play as one of four Yǒngshì classes: mystic, sage, militant, or strategist.
  • Support either Liu Bang or Xiang Yu to establish the foundation for a new dynasty.
  • Master the Imperial court to propel yourself to the position of Chancellor, ruler of China or ascend the ranks of Imperial Yǒngshì.
  • Discover the truth behind a brewing rebellion, blackmail an Empress or marry into the royal family.
  • Engage China’s fiercest enemies of the time: the Xiōngnú of the northern steppe.
  • Manage your own land and estate to further your goals, whatever they may be.

We LOVE feedback, good or bad, as long as it stays constructive and thoughtful. Typos, bug reports, suggestions or questions, all are appreciated!

Tale of Two Cranes demo

If you have any questions or concerns please reach out to myself or @TwoSharp.


#2

Sounds good so far I’m going to give it a go


#3

Looking forward to seeing more of this!


#4

I’m definitely likng what I’m seeing so far. It seems to have good replayability too. And I’m really enjoying this whole “Romance of the Three Kingdoms” vibe.


#5

Chapter 3 when your master shows up there’s a gender mismatch:

My heart clenches slightly signaling her partial lie, but even without my ability I know that she isn’t here out of the kindness in his heart.

Grammarly just now pointed out that signalling is incorrectly spelt and that ability wants a comma after it too.

Will edit if I spot anything else.


#6

@Harley_Robin_Evans, @lokidemon007, @Talyrion, and @LordOfLA thanks for checking out the demo! @SharpOne and I look forward to any additional feedback. :grin:

@LordOfLA Thanks for reporting those errors! We addressed the gender issue and comma, but signaling is spelled correctly for the US (I think two L’s are correct for UK spelling?)


#7

Ah, not sure if there’s a difference for US/UK English there - I do have Grammarly set to UK English though.

Edit: Forgot to copy paste but at the function for Lord Xiang Yu in chapter three there was a sentence with “you’re army” instead of “your army”

Also another gender mismatch

Of course, he has no idea that my Master has already pledged his support to Lord Xiang Yu.

This debate has circled into pointlessness. Everyone who speaks out knows exactly which side their on and the rest are waiting to see what everyone shall do." Master says.

Should be they’re or they are.

A later choice:

He’s trusting me with such responsibility? I’m ready and willing to prove myself.

Gender mismatch.


#8

Thanks for catching those, @LordOfLA. I’ve fixed those mistakes and updated the link.


#9

Heh, I was hoping to keep all my reports to one edited post.

During the ride chatting with the alchemist:

“Afraid so. I was sickly as a child so my father ordered that I remain inside at all times least I bring shame to the family. It’s why my skin is as pale as the moon despite being from a working class family. My lack of ability to work was why I was sent to the Alchemy Guild.”

Should be “lest”. Grammarly suggests working class should be “working-class”.

“Oh, most defiantly.” I add while thinking that Lin Ninghong is aware of how her conflicting views will be seen by those loyal to Lord Xiang Yu.

Should be definitely.

At the very least this tells me that she’s somewhat willing to hide her beliefs for her own safety, granted that doesn’t mean she’s a threat.

Did you mean “not a threat” there?

“It’s been regulated to myth if I recall correctly… Heaven comes to you in the form of something rare, correct? What was it?” Xiang Yu asks.

Wants to be “relagated” I think.

While he effects me senses, my abilities still work. So far, he’s telling the truth.

Should be “my”.

No word has reached us yet of his progress nor have I received any messages from Master. I sent out a messenger myself, not only to update him on my progress in this rebellion,

Gender mismatch.

He might not voice his findings but his face is most expressive and give away what’s on his mind

Should probably be “giving away”.

risk insulting them and needing to deal with the political fallout from offending a king, even if they’re disposed kings

Shouild be deposed.

Morale is high, despite the pompous attitudes of the disposed kings

Also here.


#10

I checked this twice and I was wondering if this is a bug that when you pick the option to attack the keep further (in scaling wall with Chan segment), you somehow return to the base waiting for order? Or is this meant to be o.o


#11

@LordOfLA Thanks again and I’ve fixed most of those. A few seem to be UK and US spelling differences.

@Eggpop I found the error. There was an if statement that wasn’t triggering correctly; I fixed it and the link is updated.


#12

No worries, just making a note of the errors that stick out at me.

Sometimes it amazes me at the fickleness of human emotion, especially since my appeal ability isn’t the strongest out there

Should this be “out here”?

He is surprisingly strong for a worthless Yǒngshì. Heaven has given him a chance to gain everything he could have ever dream of."

As is you probably want “dreamed” there, or you could remove “have”.

in the same village as some rebels, but it could been coincidental.

You have a missing word “could have been”.

Ok, ran out of demo. Looking forward to this being published in one way or another :smiley:


#13

This may sound silly but I came to this wondering if it was a story about construction. Which is to say, I was thinking of a load-hauling crane, not the animal. Dunno if it’s enough to make you wonder about the title but it’s feedback, right?


#14

I loved the demo and overall idea. Thanks for your hard work! Good luck!!!:wink:


#15

Just read the word ancient chinese, i felt the need to comment. I didnt need to try the demo to know i’d be great. Thank you for being born and write this!!! :heart_eyes::heart_eyes:


#16

An interesting game though what happened to All: replica series game


#17

Can I just say that I LOVE how this game is set in China? It’s a fascinating country, and some of my favorite books are set in China.

I love the class options, by the way! It’s so distinct; it’s not your typical warrior, mage, and rogue (or any other equivalent). I can’t wait to play more. :slight_smile:


#18

@Spire Is it weird that neither @SharpOne nor myself realized our readers could see “crane” and think of construction equipment? Yes? :sweat_smile: Well, hopefully if/when we get some cover art it won’t be as misleading.

@Eli_Knight and @Hoonie523433 Thanks for checking out the demo! Please let either @SharpOne or I know if you have any questions or feedback! :grin:

@Reaper_General Well, you see, @SharpOne is a bit out of practice when it comes to uploading a new game… (she may have accidently overlapped this one and replica’s files on dashingdon, it’s fixed now, but she must have forgotten to put the link back to public.) As to that game’s progress she and I agreed to put Tale of Two Cranes as our priority since replica and FPWD are far too ambitious to be completed in time for the contest.

@TruMaknae Glad you like it so far! @SharpOne and I wanted to have the game in a historical setting and China has such a rich and well-documented past that we were excited to use it. We’ve really enjoyed taking some of these historical figures and putting our own spin on them.


#19

This WIP is one of my favorites on the site, and I can’t wait for it to be a full game.

My first reaction to historical based games is to try and break history, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to bring any characters to support Xiang Yu (assuming our support of him would indeed change history) haha.


#20

I think (!) my association first went to ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ and construction cranes are probably more likely to crop up in a modern day city than the birds. :stuck_out_tongue:

That said, I enjoy classic Wuxia a good bit (Legends of the Condor Heroes and Demigods and Semi-Devils specifically), never mind the Romance of the Three Kingdoms. So this is good stuff in my eyes. If there’s anything I felt missing from my playthrough (as a strategist aligned with Cao Cao… er, you know who I mean) it’s the secret technique trope. But maybe that’s in the warrior branch.

Edit: One more thing! Zhang Er. Isn’t ‘Er’ a diminutive?