Hey, Hornhead; I’m loving the new content. Here are some typos I found:
“The Fall of Liberty”),
light ning (should be lightning)
(formerly Smuthers Hall).
I think we need to speak more directly and honestly, and I might involved at the press conference to make sure that happens. (“might involved” should be “might get involved”
(teleportation, gliding, etc).
Your dumb phone hasn’t picked up the instant news alerts (“dumb phone” should be “dumbphone”
promise with yourself (should be “to yourself” I think.)
It’s pretty hard dispute his reasoning. I’m even stating to agree with him. (stating should be starting)
Hell girl, (Should be “Hell, girl,”
"Yeah I figured you’d say. (I think that’s “say that”)
(defined as “inherently deadly weapons” in the policy),
“Alight you two, stay in the circle. If you leave the circle, you lose. Ready…” (Alight should be “Alright”)
“I mean, just being objective about it, isn’t this a waste of our time?” (“about it,” should be “about it;”
“Ten she folds herself into a small paper cube only a few inches wide, as if retreating from the world.” (Ten should be “Then”)
As it turns out, Tress actually does calls the meeting to order. (should be “actually does call”)
I don’t care about Savior right now. I’m still fuming about his referring to Tress as a "lovely young lady. What professor does that? That’s so unprofessional! (there should be a closing quotation mark after lady.)
(Punctuation goes inside the parenthesis.) Also, a quatation mark goes on the beginning of each paragraph of dialogue, or whatever is being quoted. Like this:
"Bla Bla Bla.
"Bla bla bla.
“Bla bla bla.”
So that would be the case here:
"Classes are right around the corner! Since most of you don’t know your classmates, I thought I’d whip up a few study groups to make sure everyone has the support they need. And since you just finished competing against another team of students in Capture the Flag, I said to myself, Meg, why not team those students up? You can go from adversaries to best of friends just like that!
In case you forgot your teams, study groups are as follows: Teams A and C, Teams B and H, Teams D and F, and Teams E and G. Take advantage of the next few days and get to meet your classmates, especially your new study buddies!"
Also, the only time a quotation goes on the end of dialogue, is if it’s the end of the dialogue. So here, the second quotation would be deleted on the first paragraph:
“Look Tress, it comes down to these three things. One. The Contrarian bombed that burger place the day of Orientation! That’s not just some random coincidence. So we’re already involved whether you want to be or not.”
“Two. She’s attacked two places now and the police can’t find her. I mean, we’re not dealing with the FBI here. This is the Speck Police Department. They just aren’t equipped for this sort of thing. And three. If we don’t stop her soon, someone is going to be killed. And that’s not happening on my watch. You agree, don’t you, Urban Ghost?”
Also, this seems to be an error: “Winning first prize in both a high school district chess tournament and a regional special effects make-up challenge are extremely impressive achievements.” I thought we achieved only one of them?
Also, this is probably nitpicky, but I think the letter you read in the very beginning should be in quotation marks.
I laughed my ass off at that this hero name. xD “Mugger Slugger.”
Again, this is a little nitpicky, but you may consider making your choices complete sentences when possible, or at least capitalizing them. (It just makes it feel smoother in my opinion.)
I’ve probably already told you this, but Dean Tolly’s joke is easily the worst and best joke I’ve ever heard. So bad. xDDDD
I have a suggestion for the hero stats like hmm and whoosh: if they’re gauged with small numbers, could you give them names like “Basic, intermediate and advanced?”
“(dictated by not read) Dean Meg Tolly” I think something is missing there.
Also, this is just a general comment, but I think the fake_choices should be a little less obvious. I’ve grown to appreciate them more, but I think they could be implemented more smoothly.
Also, you may consider balancing a lot of the stat effects out, so there isn’t a “right” or “wrong” choice. (Like with many of the choices that effect your relationship with others; one knocks down your relationship, and another boosts it, so clearly one is “right” and the other is “wrong.” It would make it more engaging, in my opinion, if they also effected other attributes.)
Like, for example, how choosing to leave DG at the party drops your relationship with her. That definitely makes sense, but I think it should also slightly increase “hmm” or something.
“Only he doesn’t look like a little boy. He has the face of a seventy-year-old man with bulging eyes and a few wisps of hear escaping from his cap.” Just curious: is this meant to be progeria?
Lol, I wrote that right after I read it, then the next sentence said he had progeria. Ninja’d be the author. xD
“A pregnant pause follows.” This seems like a typo or something, but I may be wrong.
“This is God’s country.” That could be “God’s city” or something that reflects Speck more accurately.
“Mob nods appreciatively at you when you refuse to join in the laughter. The Hedonist arches his brow and then narrows his eyes at you. For the first time, you sense some hostility from your professor.” He’s so creepy! I vow to get him one day.
'“Okay soldiers, who wants to stay alive?”
Hands fly up. Even Stoic’s.
Downfall nods. “Well that was a softball question.”’ lololol
“Mystery creates fear. Protect your secrets. Relish the fear.” O.O he’s so creepy…I like it. xD
‘Origami grins and floats down to the grassy island. “This is going to be so fun! Ooooh! I think that cloud looks like Combat Wombat! It’s big and lumpy!”’ LOLOLOL
I ask Crook, “Why don’t you hit on someone your own age, like Dean Tolly?” OHHH! and I love how he actually takes it positively xD
"like a lifeguard on one of those cable television shows where the lifeguards run around in slow motion and still manage to save the day. " hehehe.
Also, I’m assuming you wanted to change all the notifications about your stat effects from numbers to words, so I thought I’d point out that when I talked to Mob after just joining the public relations team, it said “(%+ 10 relationship with Mob)”
Also, I think a good opportunity to effect your relationship with Tolly is when you go and meet with her about your grades.
"I’m putting my feet up and watching a science fiction movie called “Colonising Kepler 62e.” 
thanks for the Easter egg.
