College Tennis: Origin Story (WIP) - Updated 16/10/22

Hey I liked it

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Does the demo end after the coaches answer questions?

I would also like to know . That was the goal state when I played through the storyline.

@Gamer_Don Awesome! Glad u did :slight_smile:

@fisheye and @Fawaz_Ibrahim Haha yes, it ends there for now, but will pick off from there in the next update.

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Seems promising.Can’t wait for more!

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I m in LOVE💃

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@Spicy_Spicy and @irfan HAHA thank you both! :partying_face:

Can you add a shy or bold flirt option? :pleading_face:
If no, it’s okay. I still like the game as you wrote it. :face_with_hand_over_mouth::star:

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I wasn’t knocking you for abandoning it, but the demo went further than most first appearances and felt pretty polished. I loved the detail on playing styles, for example. I’ll be giving this another go later and will provide more detail. In the meantime, if there is a discord server/patreon or anything like that I would be interested.

Admittedly, I don’t like either title. The first is bland but serviceable, and the second makes me think it’s all romance focused, which I really hope will not be the case. It’s a bit too soon into the demo for me to know what kind of title will fit the overall tone.

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Awesome! I’ll be looking forward to that!

Mm! Thanks for this - think I’ll revisit this later, when I have more of the story down - I’ll definitely keep you posted. For now I think getting comments/feedback from you guys through this forum / tumblr is still working out pretty well :slight_smile:

HAHAh thanks for the honesty, “serviceable” is a good description of the current title - which I think was why I thought “fresh meat” might at least add some character… but yes, the game’s not at all meant to be romance-focused. The romance will be an important part of the game, but so will the tennis, the friendships w the team / coaches / dorm-mates. The aim is to achieve something of a delicate balancing act between those three main aspects (not dissimilar to college/life itself I suppose?) Anyway. re: titles - will revisit this, open to suggestions.

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Hey, thanks for the suggestion!

There won’t be a bold / shy option for every flirting dialogue choice because I want to leave more room for other kinds of choices most of the time, but at critical moments, there will definitely be at least two (or possibly more) ways of… flirting/“expressing one’s interest”.

I suppose the shy/bold dimension will likely also be incorporated generally as the ‘friendly/reserved’ (or some equivalent) stat as well, so ROs could also interact differently with you according to that… We’ll figure it along the way together- I’d definitely appreciate more feedback as this progresses :slight_smile:

The only tennis experience I have is playing Mario Tennis Power Tour, but I LOVED your WiP.

Really, man, I’m anxious to see what you have in store because I am up for it, the setting of college/athlete thing, meeting the egyptian guy again, etc.

Also, I’m digging your writing style, I found it in a good middle ground of being technical and more uh, “simple” (???), and it also flows really well, so I’m waiting for the next updates, good luck on your project, man!

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I don’t really care for tennis, but I was so hooked on the first match against Rayyan!! I love your writing style, and I really appreciate that you don’t use too difficult tennis terms so that even someone who has no knowledge of tennis still understands what’s going on! Also, I’m such a clown for the childhood friends-to-lovers trope, so I love Sam.
Good luck on your WIP, I’m excited to see where it’s going!

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I don’t really have any interest in sports but your writing and the characters kept me entertained. I’m just reading it for the romance at this point. Regardless of my lack of interest in the theme, I found it enjoyable enough that I got a bit miffed at myself when it ended lol. I can’t to wait to see moree, I wish you luck~

Also… I kinda want Rayyan and my MC to recreate that locker scene from Lil Nas X’s “That’s What I Want” music video now lmao.

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I have to admit I find tennis really boring and only gave this a try because I’m a sucker for a good rivals to lovers romance (especially when it’s a sports rivalry). Despite that I actually found the tennis scenes very interesting and enjoyable. I also liked the way you wrote the characters so far, even though we didn’t have that many interactions with most of them yet. Overall this was a great read and I’m looking forward to seeing more.

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@Mighty9 Ey! So glad you gave it a go and happy that you’re down for the whole sam route - I’m also a fan of the will-they/won’t-they, friends-or-lovers-can’t-we-be-both vibe :stuck_out_tongue:

@niriviel Hahaha yess, happy to hear that! and hahaha I’d not seen the Lil Nas vid (for the record, the first google result i got was: “Lil Nas X getting mighty sus in the locker room” and I’m happy to report that the music vid itself did not disappoint. :joy: yes, im a fan of the locker-slam, so that’ll be happening at least once, I think.

@Celeste Awesome! Me too (on the count of rivals-to-lovers). Thanks, and I’m glad you like the characters and even the tennis (gasP) so far :slight_smile:

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Here goes:

[quote]The warm-up alone had immediately confirmed that everything that you had heard about the boy - all the exultant, almost hyperbolic praise - was true. One thing was clear: Rayyan was no bit-rate opponent. You were in the big leagues, now.

You sucked in a breath, feeling a small thrill going through your veins. Rayyan already gotten three offers from top NCAA Div I teams, and had accepted one: Cargill. Which meant that… Evelína was here to watch you.[/quote]

Recommend changing “three” to “several.” The exactness of three implies that the MC has been seriously following Rayyan, though the paragraph above suggests only casual familiarity. Separately, rather than tell me that Evelína Sýkorová is there to watch me, let me decide how I feel about it. Example:

You sucked in a breath, feeling a small thrill going through your veins. Rayyan already gotten three offers from top NCAA Div I teams, and had accepted one: Cargill. Which meant that…

  1. Evelína was here to watch you. (adds to Cocky)
  2. Evelína was here to root for her new prospect. (adds to Modest)

Now you’ve given the player more say in developing their personality, and it didn’t even require a new opposed trait.

The first momentum change has 4 options, but 2 of them raise finesse. Maybe change one of them to an intelligence or agility option?

Challenging the call raises “by the book” a little, not sure why. In truth, not sure what that slider represents. It also raises stubborn, but that made sense to me. Could see it raising serious as well, to be honest. I say that because letting it go DOES raise serious, which I did not expect, and barely raises easygoing. And theatrically calling it out didn’t raise flippant? Basically, none of the choice/effect combos really seemed intuitive, though not a major issue.

When Rayyan says I should be top 20 and I choose believe me, I agree, how come that doesn’t raise Cocky? Seems a no-brainer.

For why did I pick Cargill, “outsized tennis reputation” raised finesse by 5, but I would have rather seen a +1 to agility, strength, finesse, serve, and endurance.

Getting up in the morning, adept at map reading raises INT, but none of the other choices seem to do anything. Seems an odd decision if so.

I don’t see the appeal of choosing eye and hair color and hair style. If those descriptions aren’t going to come up in the story I feel like this kills energy for no benefit. I’m already imagining my char after all.

For breakfast, skipping lowers condition, which I get, but eating a hearty breakfast results in a minor moment of awkwardness. I’m guessing it lowered Coach relationship?

When I mentioned the forced flirting, I was definitely thinking of Tobin. None of the options when you meet him, for several choices in a row, feel natural.

The options on training are a bit odd. The “custom” plan only allows one attribute (and intelligence doesn’t go up if you select tactics), and it lowers endurance, which is the thing I wanted to raise.

And that’s it. In general, I felt I only made one choice (the breakfast one) that might really be a decision. Maybe if the summer activities pay off down the road? I dunno. Still, lots of good build options (though too much finesse-loading, not enough for other options, especially agility).

All in all, I think this has a lot of potential, as the writing in the tennis match really shines, and the customization promises a lot of depth. I went for a pusher, which seems a good option for a player who also can succeed as a student.

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Wow thank you so much for the in-depth analysis, I really appreciate you taking the time to trawl through what each option/choice does to the stats.

It’s messy bare-bones coding right now (you rightly picked out instances where the stats don’t match hahaha) and I will be reviewing + polishing the choices and effects on various stats before the next update.

I’ve also just reviewed the useful / less useful player traits and stats, plus laid out how I think the tennis stats-check mechanism will go - see the base post above :slight_smile: Excited to hear your thoughts on that for sure, but no pressure, it might be easier to get feedback on the mechanism once I code it in for the challenge match / doubles match so you can see it in action! :slight_smile:

Detailed responses below too, and thanks again for the feedback!

Responses

Good call on letting the player decide how he/she/they feel. Just to note: I’m contemplating removing cocky/modest as a trait dimension as it seems to have limited impact on gameplay BUT this is subject to future re-writes to see what works. Right now it only helps in allowing people to play as a lovable little shit, as previously mentioned HAHA which I love, but might not be useful for anything else.

Again, good shout here. As for why certain choices raise counter-intuitive stats, they’re errors hahah challenging call should not raise “by the book/lawful” for sure. On your later comments on the summer activities, training and how it affects character-build, I’ll definitely be refining this further, thanks for the feedback! (Noted on finesse-loading & making it more balanced, agree completely!)

Agree w the general principle - don’t think it should affect endurance though.

Yup being late in general affects coach relationship, though to be honest I haven’t been very meticulous about the coding for coach + team relationship effects yet. It should also eventually cause a reduction in lawful.

Yup, I agree - thanks!

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I am loving what ya got so far and looking forward to the growth of the story :smiley: will need to play again for any errors or what not. work has taken most of my focus lol

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HAHA thank you! And yes, I feel u re: work :stuck_out_tongue: Take ur time, and absolutely no pressure at all :slight_smile: rly appreciate that u played it in the first place!

I drafted out the outline of the game a few weeks ago, and based on the speed I’ve been able to write at with my job… by conservative estimates I’d be done by end 2023. HAHAH what a joke. Though, more optimistically, the going will certainly be quicker now that I’ve gotten more of the big picture stuff decided on.

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