College Guardian (Beta testing)


#21

Interesting concept, I will include it in next iteration but it might take time since it will need a total revamp of the current coding. Also I am thinking of including squad type missions during the war phase. Will upload a scene to show you what I mean. Do tell if it works.


#22

Here is another bug, after I choose that I am biased towards suma it says there is no command called “the”


#23

Should work now :smiley:


#24

So, those who have given it a read, I have just uploaded a new 30K words scene, semi chapter for the second part - The War. Give it a try and suggest if or not it sticks to the first part.


#25

I wanted to ask. Do your choices affect what element you have.


#26

Yes they do, depending on your predisposition in terms of the skills. Dominance, Brilliance and Eloquence. If at the time of manifestation, none of these are prominent you instead get the healing aura.


#27

There is so much potential with this game. I would like to see more. Keep up the good work :smile:


#28

SO I mailed the final copy with all corrections with an additional scene to the hosted games. If all goes well, it will get published. Also the epilogue, spills more info on the plot to follow. Slight hints nothing more. I will start working on the next portion at the end of may, which will also mark end of examinations for me, giving ample of time to work on it.
Thanks for your support everyone, hope same continues. :grin:


#29

In the meantime if anybody has any suggestions on artwork to go with the story feel free to post.


#30

I do! you could have all the elements surrounding a boy and a girl in the middle and the college in the background, or the school crest (if their is one!) I could draw it but it will take me a while to attach it onto this thread.


#31

That seems plausible not too fancy not too plain. I think I will give it a go. :smile:


#32

thanks, glad someone likes my artwork ideas in fact i might draw it myself since just for the fun of it and also I have nothing to do until Sunday when I will be starting to write my book.


#33

thefinaldayoftraining line 433: Invalid expression, couldn’t extract another token: ,10

With that pointed out, I will toss my two cents in.

You do have a nice writing style but you do have a bad habit of using walls of text and that tends to make me skim over what you are trying to tell me. The pacing could be a little better three huge pages of text before a choice can be off-putting to some players.

You have talent, a good narrritive, just break up the walls of text, and add a few more choices to get more player involvement and you have yourself a winner.


#34

That was what I was wondering about. I haven’t read other stories under this banner much but I think I will incorporate your suggestion in the next part. Thank you for your input Pace

And corrected copies have been uploaded


#35

Hey I like your game and would like to keep going and see the whole aspects of the powers and how they develop plus what the combat in this game will be like. However theres two things I want you to know one put in romance options for the people that want them, and get a save system so we don’t have to start at the beginning evry single time we play the game. Otherwise I’m loving the game so far can’t wait for this to be a finished game, cause I would totally buy it.


#36

Found a small error
"As your mom parks the car, your dad stands at the door looking rather confused at the expression your mom bears. As she storms inside with her bags “Talk to she” she says to him." It should be “Talk to her”

"Look now Jeffery, you two may not like me re,marrying but she is your mother now and you have to respect her as one."
Should be re-marrying

“Yea, actually I wanted to talk to you about the same. Is there a way to get through it a little faster? You know like skipping the line?” you say with a quizzical look that looks surprisingly well on you.
should be looks surprisingly good on you


#37

Thanks for the update will change them immediately.


#38

This here is the final version of the part One. The epilogue has been changed and made has been made with more creative freedom for part two.
Hope you like it.


#39

You feel confident alraedy in your decision to join Einherjar. If what the dean says can be hold to be true, which it probably is, you can expect a wonderful experience ahead of you.

Change alraedy too already


#40

Thanks for bringing it to my notice. Change has been made. :grin: