I don’t see anything wrong with Outlaw as the title. An outlaw is simply a person who is excluded from protection under the law. Even if you were forced into joining the rebels, even if you choose not to steal, kill, or kidnap, that’s still what you are: an outlaw from the Hegemony.
“One particular hundred-yard stretch had grown legs like a centipede and run a half-mile before collapsing. They reckoned it had been chasing us.”
So can I go to therapy now or should I wait for the nightmares to set in first?
Lots of good points on why Outlaw is a worse subtitle than Uprising. If I wanted to stick with the idea that the subtitle refers to the MC rather than your rebellion (and yes, FG also makes good points on why that’s a poor idea) – any thoughts on what would work better?
Well, my initial thought was that there was no reason for you to directly contact Calea (why would she want to help you?), nor to contact Hector unless you had tender feelings for him (why would you imagine that that would go well?). But as the Calea parlay grew in scope and significance, I have been thinking that it might need to get a broader unlock.
And by the way, this is a textbook example of why it takes me longer to write my game than I think it will. (1) I decide that Chapter 3 needs more action, and that the Keriatou need to do something before the Phalangites descend. So OK, I’ll put in a brief vignette where Hector attacks you and you have a choice of response. (2) I like @Rebelmaiden’s suggestion that the MC should be able to be in love with Hector; that’ll have nice repercussions down the road. So I write in the choice of how you feel about Hector. (3) Having written that, it suddenly feels inconceivable that a lovestruck MC wouldn’t at least have the choice to try talking to Hector. Let’s add that to the choices for a response. (4) Hey, wouldn’t it be interesting if Calea showed up instead of Hector? Hector would just want to kill you, but Calea would actually talk. (5) Hmmm, ok, I’d originally planned that conversation for Game 2, but since this is what Calea thinks, it would come up here. Let’s write it out now.
And thus a scene which wasn’t originally going to exist at all turns into something which I probably need to link to other choice paths, because it’s too long and too much fun to have in just one obscure corner of the game. (: See also the “survived the winter” bonfire celebration in chapter 2.
I’ll see if I can give it that spin in my restructure of Ch 2.
It happens way out in the woods, and there’s no one there (father, Simon, Bleys) who has a chance to recognize Horion.
I thought the interrogation/conversation scene was getting a bit long… but a “form of government” question would be worthwhile. Let me see about adding that.
Hahahahahaha! OK, no more flip-flopping between CoReb, Rebels, etc… the author’s preferred acronym for this game is now officially XOR.
Were there specific lines of questioning you’d cut as pointless?
Ah, that’s a bug resulting from my not setting the “milady” variable to Captain in the shortcut-to-Ch-3 menu. I’ll fix that later when I’m back at the computer.[quote=“odessatales, post:2331, topic:1601”]
does ‘in the cups’ mean drunk?
Yes. If you got “de Lelle” there when you knew that he was the Archon’s cousin, it’s because I didn’t set the delelle variable to “Leilatou” when you found out who he was. Don’t suppose you remember what path led you to that particular bit?
And thanks for all the bug/typo catches. I got the looping page myself but couldn’t figure out what was causing the problem. Will look again this eve.
I accept no liability for mental trauma caused by Horion’s horror story. (:
It seemed odd to me that my guests seem surprised at being let go, I asked them to be my guests, I told my father they were guests, I told the camp they were under my personal protection, shared the scroll of blood magic, received the blessing of the priest, asked my guest to visit me again, and yet apparently I had to reassure them that I wasn’t going to kill them and wear their faces as hats.
It would be one thing if my behavior was inconsistent, but after the way I interacted with them I feel like they should have been expecting to be let go unharmed.
While it wouldn’t work for my character, how about an option to offer to ransom our guests? If he was captured by the vile enemy of the empire, why it would make him an unfortunate loyal citizen of the empire in the eyes of public opinion, yes?
If I can offer a two possible solutions to conundrums now raised…
Instead of Outlaw why not describe the character of the rebellion at that time Dissent, Insurgency, Unrest or the original Uprising.
Instead of meeting Calea why not just have the meeting with Hector go south. Either he kills you or you barely escape with your life depending on skills and choices. I think that is a valid outcome given Hector’s nature as you have described it. You can save the current Calea scene for a future installment.
Not knowing even the themes of the later games, how many you plan to have or anything like that makes it difficult to choose a title that will fit easily in with a theme.
The other problem is people’s protagonists will differ. So you’re going to have to pick a common theme that all of our protagonists have. We’re all leaders, all in charge, and all heroes in our own way. While we are all fighting the established order, we’re doing it for different reasons. So you might want to try and think of something along that lines.
But I’d think focus on what the Rebels themselves would call us. But really, wait for the first game to be finished, then think again on the title. If we suggest something now I’m sure it’ll just change again, whereas once you’ve finished writing you might have a better idea of one word that might sum up this part of the story arc.
I liked Uprising because it did seem to neatly describe everything that happened without having negative connotations.
Is there any way to avoid losing control of the helots at the Harrowing and starting an “orderly” uprising with Charisma as a weakness? I really want the large amount of former helot bandits you get in addition to Zvad’s small band of merry men but still want to keep my MC be a genius and somewhat competent soldier with a rough, unpolished manner.
Mainly because as a nobleman myself, I want Shayard’s nobility on my side. Also because Breden’s a helot and although such people will be free in my glorious, righteous and independent kingdom, they’ll still be just filthy peasants at the end of the day and a well-bred individual such as I wouldn’t be caught dead fraternizing too intimately with the lower orders
. Also, ditto with Kala/Kalt but even worse since at least Breden’s a reasonable guy/gal who can be convinced to submit to the authority of his/her (non-imperial) social betters, while Kala/Kalt is a crazy noble killing fugitive whose in desperate need of a good beheading!
I’m actually a little annoyed you can’t have Kala/Kalt killed or at least told to leave if you’re a noble and they dare to presume you have a dislike for your fellow aristocrats just because the peasants wouldn’t listen to your wise judgement and spare your fellow nobles. And in act of blatant savagery innate to the lower orders, executed their betters like rampaging barbarians! It’s especially a little jarring when you’re roleplaying a stuffy, nasal gazing, silver spoon jackass who certainly wouldn’t accept a noble killer in his/her ranks.
Suzanne/Simon on the other hand, I like. They’re of noble birth which satisfies my unapologetic snobbery and the blatant sycophancy of them somewhat amuses my absurdly oversized ego. He or she would make a fine King/Queen consort.
Nope! I feel embarrassed but I read through the code and it’s a result of picking Shayarin instead of Koine in the beginning. It feels natural with an aristo but it’s strange to see with a helot, it feels like the MC is trying to ennoble him/herself.
It shouldn’t have done that. The choice “No – I could lose them all by meddling with religion.” should just take you straight to the Hector vignette without any stat change. Want to try another playthrough?
Think I’ve fixed the other bugs, including the loop – thanks again!
You mean, before “I tugged at his arm and asked if he could sing Samena’s Song in memory of my mother”? No – it never appeared before that request.
Ah yes… that would be because when you told your father they would be your guests, instead of a slight increase in the variable that measures your relationship with Horion, I slightly increased the variable that measures Horion’s status in your band – which means the game thought you’d kidnapped him. That should be fixed now, and the unwarranted anxiety hopefully gone!
A 0 charisma MC unfortunately won’t be able to control the mob. The best you can do is direct them to less objectionable targets. Order them to kill the alastors and such quickly - they won’t heed any calls to mercy without at least a 1 in charisma. Afterwords, have them rob the traders. They’ll leave the nobles alone then at least, so you can avoid angering them any more than necessary.
I just replayed and I must have done something else to raise that stat. I don’t remember what choices I made. The replays are all starting to blend.
‘"No one to tell us which way the Angels want us to walk. No one to reassure us that we’re still within Xthonos’ sacred will. And I know some of you have wondered whether I feel the same lack.’ This is missing the closing quotation marks.
“You do your best to recall how you’ve heard the nobility greet each other, and repeat it as if ‘you were yourself one of Them’.” Them is capitalized and the end of the sentence is a little awkward.
I had Zvad take Horion back to camp, Blyes informed me of their name, and Kala put an arrow in his shoulder at some point in the night causing him to naturally, bleed out and die… at which point I had breakfast and discussed Philosophy and the Xaos lands with his corpse. We discovered the Xoas lands somehow blessed his shoulders with regenerative powers, he now seeks to join the Unquiet Dead and learn the arts of necromancy. He hopes to one day debate Philosophy with all the dead Nryrish giants.
@Sneaks We should look and see if they offer a discount for group therapy…