Broken Pieces (WIP) - Update: 20-07-18

I really enjoyed reading this. It show great promise. Really looking forward to more and the next update. Keep up the good work.

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image
You use “I’m” a lot where it isn’t appropriate—I’m is usually used when followed by something else, like I’m going or I’m sick. In the screenshot you would use “I am” because it’s answering the question are you real—“I’m” isn’t just the short version of “I am” :wink:
Anyways, I really enjoyed it, you just need an editor to help with spelling and grammar! The idea is original and interesting, but I’m sad we can’t romance Stephen :sob: Why are the best characters never ROs??

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Hi! Just wanted to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the demo and can see that you have put a lot of effort and thought into the story background and world building. Do not worry too much about the English as grammar is something that can be learned and mastered over time! The mistakes are relatively easy to correct. In fact, I was quite impressed by the vocabulary and standard of English in the demo, especially when you say that it is not your first language!
Anyways, wish you all the best and hope you continue to write! I’ll be keeping an eye on this WIP.

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Wow?!? This is lovely! I love sci-fi and my love and passion and major is genetics/genetic engineering is amazing to find a game so fitting into my niche! I can’t wait to see more, and I can’t wait to fall in love with the android send to kill me lol.

Also I think the opinion/interview was a really good way to establish thoughts and opinions.

Thanks for such a lovely wip!

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Many thanks and I’m glad to know you liked! And I’ll I can’t wait to finish one more part! :grin:

Ooops, language vice to correct! Thanks for the warning :grin:
I promise to make all the other characters and ROs as lovely and captivating as Stephen! And really, good to know you liked!
I’ll try to find someone to help me with revision on a constant basis :slight_smile:

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Wow! I must say that your message made me so happy I can’t even how much describe! :star_struck:I’m so so glad with your words! Many thanks for them! And also glad that you liked it! :grin:

Aaah, I totally get what you’re saying! Genetics is what made me get a degree in Biology! (and even if I’m not made for lab life I still love it) You words about loving sci-fi and genetics hit me so true and alike! Haha, I can’t wait to make you fall in love with him! :laughing:

Glad on yout thoughs about the opinion/interview, and it’s me who thanks for your words! :blush:

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This very good,I can’t wait to read more :heart:

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Just to let everybody know: I made some updates on the first chapter and now we have a glossary with short descriptions of the species and the institutions in a non-biased way by the MC own knowledges.

Sorry for not having chapter 2 yet. My life has been a little crazy, and the glossary was easier to write and relax, exactly what I was in need.

Hope you all will like it :blush:

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I love it! A little cliche, but very well written :+1::clap:

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Briefy update on how things are going:
I already have all the second chapter planned for some good time now, but because the second semester at college started at full speed with exams (at second week of class, really, I almost cried) and tasks, I haven’t had as much time to write as I would like. For now, I’m writing the FAE side of the chapter and I hope to get to finish it until the end of the month, so I can write the WITCH side. Without going into details, I think that soon my life will get on tracks and the writing will get more regular.
Don’t give up on me and on Broken Pieces, please :joy:

Everybody, have a great week! :heart:

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