Thanks! You saved me from dying of OCD
some typo and gender swapping report :
You catch him and hold him tight. She hugs you close, you can hear him breathing heavily, and you can feel his heartâs pounding on your chest.
âIâll have a warm tea and crumpets with butter alongside sausages and chips on and a cup of tomato sauceâŚâ⌠That was the most British thing youâve ever heard her sayâŚ
The waiter seems unfazed, and gives her a blank stare for a few seconds, before asking âWould you like some fries with that?â breaking his French accent for a Brooklyn one
âhow else am I supposed make money enough to pay rent?â (not really sure, but shouldnât it be like this : supposed to make)
âOh rightâŚâ Mouse searches through his pockets and pulls out a the same stuff thatâs on the tray, excluding the phone. âThey gave me a phone, but mineâs way more advancedâŚâ
You wrap your arm around his beck as He grabs you by the waist and pull you close. (back)
You pull out your phone and give it to her. âWhat for?â
âWhat seems to be the problem officer?â The waiterâs hand quietly and slowly reaches down to the side of his seat, and you a shine of metal from the side of the seat (you what? did you mean see 
)
The see you, but like Kaz, they ignore you, instead they fight on who gets the window seat⌠Uriel wins saying sheâs the eldest. (They)
You sit next to her, and await your flight to begin, and endâŚ
(choice) The Disgust me⌠but itâs not like I have any other choice⌠(They)
âOh, thanks!â She says with a smile (He)
âWelcome Dr.Jones and Dr.Free. Itâs is on the 12th floor, room 415â He says as he gives you a set of keys.
Mouse says as he walks into his room carrying her luggage and backpack.
Took us awhile to find to correct gun inside the evidence locker, but here it is. (maybe The)
(choice)Give her a thumbs up
(choice)Give her a thumbs down
There, standing in the kitchen, you in his dark red hoodie, wearing a black and red hockey mask. Itâs mouse and his mask.
thereâs only a lonely jar of buttermilk cookies sitting int he middle
From from non lethal melee weapon, bean bags, and tasers, to mounted machine guns, submachine guns, rifles, sniper rifles, shotguns, pistols, revolvers, land mines, grenades, rocket launchers" He inhales another set of breath "anti-air, anti-tank, miniguns, mortars⌠you⌠name it⌠except nukes, we donât have those
âOh yeah, not at allâŚâ Mouse says as he takes off his hoodie and lay it down on his chair. As he does, you notice that thereâs a gun strapped to the back of her Waist. He pulls the gun out and lay it on the table and pulls his arm up
thatâs it for now, coz my browser just got error at that point and i need to restart my Laptop 
will be come back later if i found more typo or gender swapping 
1 Like
Not a bad update; the game did not register the ak as my primary, it reverted to the Remington. I also would have prefered the M4 carbine but meh.
Keep up the good work.
2 Likes
Glad I was able to get more a fix this month anything interesting seems to be happening in October. A couple of issues popped up though, for me choosing to open fire during the church shootout causes the game to more or less lock up during the second D20 roll, choosing to take cover skips this though. Two as Eiwynn mentioned it seems to pick the shotgun as your chosen primary if you choose to pick up the AK, the other two work fine however.
2 Likes
i guess, that is what happened to me before. 
2 Likes
Yeah, for some reason it doesnât seem to want to advance. I have no clue whatâs going on with it⌠And I may or may not have input the wrong weapon token for the AK choice. fixing that later, will be in the next update⌠possibly next week.
EDIT: Iâm currently testing work-arounds for it and will be fixing it on the next update. Also fixed the pronoun issues, that was just me forgetting to put variables in, sorry. Thank you all for the feedbacks! Keep em coming!
1 Like
Here a couple of errors
Not sure about this one but
And with one swift move, me releases the officerâs mouth, but before he could scream, Kaz sends a punch straight to his nose, knocking him out cold.
Change me releases too I release
2
âYeah, thanks for not dyingâ she nudges your shoulder. âWhen they brought me here after I called Kaidan, I immediately came up with a plant on the spotâŚâ
Plant too plan
3
As the plan reaches cruising altitude, you start thinking about whatâs gonna happen. They told you to lead a team of 4⌠does that mean 3 people plus you? Or 4?
Change plan too plane
2 Likes
more report :
You pull him in and he takes initiative. He wraps his arm around waist and hold you in a hug. (maybe⌠it should be like this : He wraps his arm around your waist and hold you in a hug)
Till we contact again, *line_break Gabriel (cant bold *line_break to show you, but i hope you know what i mean )
this one isnât typo but a scene :
[âAlright then, get some coverâ Greg turns his back to you and shouts to his workers âSecondaries! Go with Tracy!!â He grabs an AK-47 from a nearby table and aims it towards the door âEveryone else! Hold here and follow whatever Ramiel says!â he points to Hayne.
(choice) âGo with Tracyâ
(choice) âStay with me and take coverâ]
(for this scene, im a bit confuse at first, maybe you should add something before the choice option to make it obvious that reader will choose a choice for mouse /am i make any sense? 
)
Hayne says nothing as he click the safety on on her carbine. She nods and releases a sigh as she shoulders her M4. (She)
Hayne nods, Kaz opens the door, Hayne rushes in, M4A1 drawn. You hear a about a dozen
2 Likes
Heres anthoer one
Oh donât worry about those" Mouse says gesturing his hand for you not to worry. âI gave them a list of what we need from our apartments, and they said theyâll take care of itâ
My mouse was a girl
2 Likes
Played it with mouse as a boy and he has been her
alot since the Warehouse scene
2 Likes
Will be posting update tonight if possible. Fixed everything thatâs reported⌠hopefullyâŚ
Thank you all for testing and keep em coming!
Also, Iâve had a few character illustrations, what do you think?
and a drawingâŚ
P.S: I know the drawing sucks⌠you may comment on how bad they areâŚ
13 Likes
I donât know what youâre talking about. Your drawing is crazy good. Iâd love to see more of them.
2 Likes
Well Iâll be damn! if you think your drawing sucks, then mine would be on the borderline of causing depression because Iâll make you sad with my poor excuse of drawing. My parents wouldnât even hang mine on the fridge talking about âwhat is this!?â.
2 Likes
Is there a drawing somewhere that I missed or something? Cause the one I see is pretty damn good.
2 Likes
Wow, you really think itâs good? 
Itâs not really my drawing, itâs a friend of mine whoâs also working with me.
I only did Kaidan and Hayne, the sketch was his
I take no credit of his masterpiece. Heâs the one who said that his own drawing sucks, but he wouldnât believe me when I said that I think itâs amazing⌠Now he will!
Anyways, could someone change the topic title? Thanks!
UPDATED!!
DEVELOPMENT LOG#12 (-october-2016)
-Fixed looping issues at the church gunfight start
-refined skipping system
-Added skip point to meeting Greg
-(for reminder) Added new variable batch 4
-Currently using temporary gunfight script (Last one keeps looping) Will replace later
-Currently making plans for private beta
-Fixed AK registering as Remington, Vice Versa
-Fixed gender swap issues and typos⌠hopefully
-Rewritten ending to first church escape
- OPERATION: The Crew (24%)
- OPERATION: Church Escape (61%)
- OPERATION: Gregoryâs Glorious Goods (Every Robberâs One-Stop Store) (41%) (Halted)
- OPERATION: Sweet home, Chicago! (82%) (Prioritized)
- OPERATION: Refining Narrative (82%)
- OPERATION: MC vs Narrator (19%) (Halted)
- rewriting: Breaching Script (22%) (Prioritized)
4 Likes
Whoops hang on.,⌠something went wrong with the upload
EDIT: UPDATED!!.. again⌠Oh, and thanks for the title update @Eiwynn
2 Likes
Updated title⌠Where is my Carbine? and my Sniper Rifle? hmm⌠some one stop shopâŚ
1 Like
Well, to be fair, the shop was under attack before you could even buy anything from it. But donât worry, Iâll have a different weapon choice for the other branch of the church escape.
Iâll be sure to put in the M4 and the sniper rifle⌠by the way, hereâs what Iâve come up with so far for the list of weaponsâŚ
⌠that⌠might be too bigâŚ
1 Like
Looks a bit big, yeah.
If you want to add quite a few guns, why not try adding in the ones that are the most common?
Ak-47s and AR-15s are more commonly seen then the Bizon and L8SA2, for example
1 Like