BREACH - Crime Thriller WIP (UPDATED! 29-November-2018!) (800k+ Word)

nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice
comedy
young-adult-fiction

#3205

Ahh ok thx


#3206

Oh what would I do without this wonderful community~

You people are awesome, thank you all for being so patient! Much love! :heart: :heavy_heart_exclamation: :gift_heart:


#3207

I remember during the acadmey. We were allowed to shoot a long range weapon, sniper rifle. It was my turn. I grew up hunting, shooting my entire life. Almost 100’d the pistol range. 100’d the shotgun range. Really confident in myself. Target wasnt dramatically far, about 150 yards. It was a m24 with 20 rounds. My rifle game is strong but apparently one the target reaches a certain distance I might as well throw my rifle at them. I missed 19/20 and the one I did hit. It’s safe to say the target isnt having any children. Safe to assume I ain’t ganna be a sniper. I’ll never forget what my partner told me. “Dont quit your day job” and I reply “but this is my day job…”


#3208

The first time I shot with a scope, it smacked me in the forehead…


#3209

Oof


#3211

… Posted that a little bit too early…


#3212

Alright… take two… Clears throat

UPDATE !!

4CF03990-DCB9-4668-B7DA-A1A383076332

The new update is here! (wow I’m somewhat getting consistent with these… somewhat…)

Breach: The Archangel Job (Updated)

DEVELOPMENT LOG#34 (09-November-2018) (Public Testing)

(3.O23.18.11.09)

  • Fixed a few things, I can’t remember…
  • Added ability to disable pictures in GGG
  • Added Rook’s Second Hangout
  • Added Carly’s Second Hangout
  • Added Carly’s First Romance Scene
  • Added Blueprint Warehouse scenes
  • Added Big Bank Basement blueprint
    COMPLETED: Carly Hangout - Second Hangout (100%)
    COMPLETED: Rook Hangout - Second Hangout (100%)
    W.I.P.: Cheasty doodle Doo - Cheat Codes (35%)
    W.I.P.: The Purge - Ellipsis (…) Massacre! (41%)
    W.I.P.: Kaz Hangout - First Romance (55%)
    W.I.P.: Chapter 4: The Big Bank (62%)
    W.I.P.: Gregory’s Glorious Goods - Part 2 (92%)

Though I don’t recommend using a save, I’m not the boss of ya, go do what you wish!

Have fun everyone!

Also, on a side note, in the next update, chapter 4 will be pulled back from the public version and will only be available in the private testing thread which will consist of people that I’ve already listed as useful and are willing in helping me devlop the story. There’s room for more, but as always, I value any kind of criticism from praises to insults, so long as they’re constructive! :smile:


#3213


#3214

I know I have the document. But add me there so I could respond when you are away.
Also good thing you are alive… I will cancel the funeral songstress too bad! (edit: since you already requested a song.)


#3215

I feel u brooo been waiting on dis for ages!!!


#3216

Anyone know the counter charge code for the fbi? Pls and ty


#3217

Damn what do I gotta do to be apart of that cool kids club? Do you want cop jokes or funny arrest stories? I’ll give you one of each. One time me and my partner were booking a guy for grand theft auto and driving under the influence. When i was talking to the booking lady next to the jail cells, my captain came in to ask what hes in for. My partner said gta DUI I replied “you can say hes here for inCAReration.” Everyone, including the the guy were booking facepalmed and signed.

And here is a cop joke. A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He said, “call for backup”


#3218

It’s a good thing I’m even awake… I haven’t had the best of sleep. Halloween did me in good…

Hint: It’s a food that came from the same place as Carly

I just looked up cop jokes, and most of it’s just about police brutality and racism :laughing: Oh humanity at it’s finest…

Oof… there should be a law about making bad puns :rofl:

Alrighty, that’s a good one :laughing:

This actually reminds me a Rook. He’s an assassin who’s been all around the world, was trained by the absolute best in special forces training, has been shot, set on fire, and even tortured on numerous occasions… yet he’s still deathly afraid of his foster grandmother.


#3219

Mothers are terrifying. My mom has been evil ever since I was in the army, 10 years ago. (I’m old i know) it’s her way of caring by calling me a suicidal dumbass. But shes proud of me…I think. I hope lol.


#3220

This reminds me, Hayne, Rook, Bishop, Greg, Michael and Gabriel all had military backgrounds. They all went through basic, and some even made it through to special forces. Raquel on the other hand was recruited because of her medical skills.

I’ve never been in the military itself but I’ve read enough books and watched enough documentaries to get the gist of it.

What was it like for you @Elegy?


#3221

will be working for fbi good end or bad end in breach :thinking::face_with_monocle:


#3222

It’s not as bad as what the movies claim it to be. Unless your one of those folk who just simply cannot follow orders. We had one at basic like that. Rule of the thumb in basic is keep quiet and reply with a yes sir no sir. Psychical training was difficult but you mainly jog and March. The hardest part to me was the tear gas crap. During basic you have a day where you eat well. Good food and everything. That is when you know your day about to become shitty. They make you enter a concrete room with your entire squad. We go in with gas mask. One by one each member takes the mask off and must say rank and mos(military job) the room is also filled with tear gas.

The entire training as a whole is pretty simple. Rough marches(hikes in full gear) is tough at first. Pull ups were my kryptonite. I can do 100 push ups nonstop but pull ups were the spawn of satan.

The marching and shooting was most fun to me. I enjoyed the cadences.

Overall I enjoyed basic. Lucky for me the location of basic is also the same location where my mos training was at so I dont have to move around so much.

Getting special forces is pretty difficult. The test alone to see if your even worth the attempt is a pain in the kaboose. I didnt attempt it. I know my limits lol.

Drill sets are normally cool or chill if you follow orders. Some try hard to prove a point. We had a female drill who was new and was trying to prove How tough she was.

And if you must know
Hooah=army
Hoorah=marines.

Army>air force
Navy>marines

Army and navy are the major branches. Air force is apart of army while marines is navy.
In the army we call the air force chair force.

Any specific questions?


#3223

Who knows, maybe it can be both!

Oof, my experience wasn’t as bad because we basically paid to go through our training. At least I know what my characters had to go through.

Gabriel was part of the Canadian Army before joining the Canadian SOFCOM within the JTF2

Michael was part of the Royal Navy before joining The Royal Marines and then moving over to the Army, and then finally joining the SAS

Rook went into the US Marine Corp, spent 4 years, before getting kicked out for many misconducts and inability to follow orders from certain officers

Bishop started out in the Royal Air Force, then went into the Royal Marines, before leaving at the end of his terms of service. Bishop is pretty much the only person in this list who voluntarily joined the military and finished his service with a medal of honor, the Victoria Cross.

Yes, I don’t know if you could answer though but any comment is welcome! :sweat_smile:

Is it possible for someone to be given the option to join the military or face imprisonment for criminal actions?

I’ve searched this question online and it only tells me that judges and prosecutors can do whatever they please within their law and jurisdictions, and that even if someone were to be given the option, the military branch is not required to accept such a person.

But in my story, Gabriel and Michael were both charged with a criminal offense and actually did face some jail time for a few years, but they later joined the military as a way to sort of work off their sentence.

To be honest, I won’t be changing that story but out of curiosity, is such a thing even possible?


#3224

I think they do it for under age younglings and depends on the crime. Most of they time they wont. Joining the military is a privilage not a punishment. But they are right, depends on the judge. Back in the Vietnam days, hell yea they would rather send you there than prison. I think prison is far better than nam. People would break laws to avoid the draft. But yeah it’s possible. But so is winning the lotto and being struck by lightning twice in a row.


#3225

I’m exited to now romance Carly! Mwahahahahahaha