BREACH - Crime Thriller WIP (UPDATED! 29-November-2018!) (800k+ Word)

nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice
comedy
young-adult-fiction

#3163

I’m down


#3164

When it’s ready… which will take quite some time…

Most likely next year…

Mouse’s favourite holiday is Easter

Michael’s favourite holiday is Boxing Day

Gabriel’s favourite holiday is Christmas

Raquel’s favourite holiday is also Christmas

Rook’s favourite holiday is Sunday

Bishop’s favourite holiday is every day that Rook’s not around

A few things scares him… Global warming, global conspiracy, pretty much everything global that threatens humanity.

Each romance option has a way you can end their conflict peacefully… just don’t fire your weapon at them.

I have thingss already planned out, don’t worry.

Oh hey, thanks! Much love! :heart:

I’m sorry, but I only update when there’s actually stuff to update, which is why progress has been really slow, and these last few months things have really been kicking since I didn’t have much to do… I now have much to do…

I’m very sorry to say.

I vote yes


#3165

image


#3166

That Alpha Protocol reference though


#3168

This game is full of pop-culture references… Hell even some historical references… Or, maybe, alternate historical references…

And Easter Eggs Galore!

… Not a whole lot of people actually call me that. :laughing:

Oof, I’m sorry you missed what could possibly be a lot of somewhat unrealistic fun in the third chapter.

Send away! Here or the PM, whichever one you wish!

Not at all! I value them! I welcome personal/factual opinions either way.

Ah yes. The game does take it’s time to ground the players in reality in the first few chapters, I had figured that if I were to do the grounding in the first few chapters, I wouldn’t have to keep doing it again and again in the later chapters. The imagination does get stretched the more you progress and everything does sort of spiral into a realm of fictionalized reality…

Though every item you read in the game, at the very least with enough time and resources, could very much so be a real item.

… Albeit there’s one literal god-like item in the game that may or may not have magical properties that can turn things into golden dust. But hey, I’ll be locking that thing with a cheat code so you’ll have to cheat to get said item.

… That’s because most of the side stories and character backgrounds aren’t done yet. Hell, I haven’t even made a single side story that doesn’t involve a character hangout. So many things to write… Sighs

You’d love Rook’s last two hangouts then.

… I’ve had conversations with Ben as to how far we can take this “bad guy MC” thing, and with the current plotline we have for this game, and the next, we pretty much can do a whole lot of things. But apparently, whenever we write we subconsciously rarely thought of putting evil characters choices.

I’ll definitely be going through the game from the beginning, re-writing the first chapter, adding more choices and whatnot, but there will be some lines that the MC cannot cross, and even I myself will not write.

… Which reminds me, I need to make an way for the MC to get a “Public Enemy #1” achievement where the MC finishes the game with an infamous reputation. (Though if I wish for the game to finish quickly, I may scrap the reputation mechanic entirely)

They’re not exactly done and yes, though there are limited NPCs to interect with outside of the main trio, I do have plans to make Geoff’s bar a place for frequent side-mission pick up or maybe even just meeting some new people or get “yer arse piss drunk”.

It’s a true shame, but I guess my story isn’t exactly for everyone. Well, I hope you find what you’re looking for and if you’d like to give it another go, you may wish to wait for the next update coming in a week or so!


#3169

Ew dont tell us when the next update is. I liked not knowing. :slight_smile:


#3170

… Not a whole lot of people actually call me that. :laughing:

Really? Sorry, if you took some offence. How do they call you then? ‘Michael’? Fine then. I couldn’t know

… That’s because most of the side stories and character backgrounds aren’t done yet. Hell, I haven’t even made a single side story that doesn’t involve a character hangout. So many things to write… Sighs

Well, cool enough then. If at some point you feel it’s coming too heavy, maybe when you hit a million words or so, I’d suggest to consider cutting down on less important details in favor of these minor interactions that bring real diversity in the gameplay. IMHO there’s no need to be so specific about clothes, masks, weapons, etc.
By the way, speaking of items, I don’t like that Greg holds a monopoly on all purchases. Even zipties?! Couldn’t we get them from Wallmarch? Or Lowmart? Or just the ‘convenience store’/ whatever? I got totally put off when that paranoid punk pointed a gun on me with the intent of murder, and they idea of shopping from him seems to me totally appalling. Nah, I’d rather boycott him as much as I can. What about add an option to kill him instead or turn Gabe against him to do this job? Or turn him secretly to the Outfit? And buy a car from a car dealership and clothes from the mall?

You’d love Rook’s last two hangouts then.

I didn’t even make it to meeting such a character :smiley:

there will be some lines that the MC cannot cross, and even I myself will not write

It’s your choice, I’m simply giving ideas

Poor Carli, no matter how I approach her always hurts herself.

So can you make approaching her less awkward? :slight_smile:

if you’d like to give it another go, you may wish to wait for the next update coming in a week or so!

I may consider it. It would be good to have an option to save game progress locally (txt file?) I’m in an incognito window and will have to keep it open. Or start in the beginning. It may be worth if you will make changes in the first two chapters…


#3171

And how do you follow with updates then? Play again and again from the beginning or…?


#3172

Is this guy fucking serious!? Mate you are gonna be in for some shit times if this is what you look for in I.F. books because alot of authors are actually LGBT+ friendly/supporters.

Another thing that pisses me off is that shit you said about what makes a “real gangster” are not what real gangsters are like. Now when I say real gangster I’m talking about Al Capone when you say gangster you really mean the modern day “gangsta” and how they act and behave is not how an actual gangster like Al Capone would have acted, not to mention the fact that Al Capone has been named the greatest gangster of all time because he did some shit that matters for example when he was head of the Chicago Outfit (yes that is real he was the co-founder and the head of it as I mentioned when he was alive) he opened up soup kitchens for the homeless because in all honesty he had a soft side for the homeless of America.

Why? Who fucking knows?

Point being he wasn’t some shitty human being who thinks they are a gangsta cause they got sagging pants and disrespecting the shit out of anyone who so much as looked at them wrong who frequents pubs just to fuck a prostitute or whatever “sl*t” they could find. He did shit that matters nowadays gangstas don’t do any shit that matters in fact they don’t so much as even give a shit about the world around them they just gonna “fuck some shit up” because they think they can, oh and not to mention that nowadays gangs deal in human trafficking something that the Chicago Outfit doesn’t do (at least I hope not).

Now would you kindly shut up about “real gangsters” when you don’t even know what a real gangster is like. Thank you kindly (ya know for shutting up)


#3173

0b9

Let’s just stop this line of discussion and move on to something else before this thread gets closed


#3174

FFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEE then :joy:


#3175

It’s just a suggestion. I’ve been on the forum long enough to see how these kinds of controversial discussions just end up closing a thread and contributing nothing in the form of constructive criticism


#3176

I said fine then I’m not arguing against I’m just saying I will drop it as for the other person I can not comment on their behalf

Anyways back on topic (I think?) this I.F. is probably the longest one out there and it’s not even finished I gotta say I’m impressed with their willingness to continue they are absolute BEASTS


#3178

I usually just come and go. If there is an update cool, if not then no biggy. I get where your coming from about gangsters, hell where I work I deal with alot of them. But it isnt as luxurious as you think. This game I see as a comedy and not realistic. But I kinda agree about doing club stuff but the game explains why you cang entirely do that. Stay low and what not and clubbing and wrecking shit doesnt fall into that category. It’s easier for me to arrest you when you go clubbing then it is if you stayed home.


#3179

Wew I never suspected that there were alternate historical references in here! Oh and by the way in GGG why can’t I buy any of the unique masks? I seriously want that plague doctor msak bruv😁


#3180

Comes back and sees the talk of gangstas and gay bashing
Hoooooo boy. That’s a bad Time yes sirree Bob. The archangels arent a bunch of doo rag wearing, gold chain sporting, grinding in the club, morons. They’re the Reservoir Dogs, The Payday Crew. Their professionals. They aren’t the strange Tupac up in the club sipping a fohty. They’re the guys in the suit making it rain. Breach isn’t Your cup of tea. We’re at… I don’t know high end stores because I’m not rich enough. But you sir are looking for Wal-Mart.


#3181

Reminded me of this

6210946


#3182

How else am I going to set a deadline for myself if not to let everyone know so that I don’t let them down? … Eventhough I do so, almost constantly… I’m sorry…

Honestly, I just wanted to simply things so you can buy everything from just one person. At least you don’t buy groceries from him :laughing:

9x19mm white bread, smoked sausage with laser sights and tactical bulletproof steaks.

Well, he can die, and if he hasn’t, and you’re in the detective storyline, you can actually kill him later on… which is something I’m currently writing.

I tried… it felt less… Carly

Rook:

Bishop:

Yes please, I’d like to cast Move On

PNG

(For those who are curious, this is a custom Level 9 DnD spell I made because my party keeps derailing everything)

Your comment is noted, acknowledged, and appreciated.

Thank you very much! This game has lots of flaws and I’ve acknowledged long ago that this game may not be for everyone… but I try my best and Ben definitely tries his best. Over the years I’ve changed my motivation from wanting to make a name to myself to now wanting to move to the US.

Sounds cheesy, but love can really drive someone head tilted over heels… this game has gone through quite a lot… and I mean it when I said long ago, that I will not stop until this game is finished. It may take quite the effort and time, but I am patient… and thank you all for being so very patient.


#3183

This spell sniff it’s beautiful :cry:


#3184

I’ll get you that update if it’s the last thing I do, damn it!

… Right after I finish writing 8 more labels.

though this is true, I don’t see why the players can’t hangout at a club. Hell, Rook owns a strip club, why not put it to good use? :laughing:

Though this does remind me to not

Well the New York’s five families sure did…

Because they’re not ready yet. I’m sorry but as of the current moment, I’m still trying to figure out the mechanics of using temporary intimidation and persuasions alongside ballistic helmets and all that jazz.

Though the current Chicago Outfit in the game are true 20s gangsters with a semi-modern flair, I took inspiration for the main trio of the Archangel Crew mostly from The Reservoir Dogs crew if their heist actually went well. The rest of the crew is mostly inspired a few of my friends and the Payday crew. They’re all professionals, and they all have standards.

Except Rook, he’s the guy who owns the club…

And he’s not necessarily the most professional of special operations operator (Hell, he comes to briefings wearing a taco suit), but he’s definitely focused when he needs to be. The man knows how to dance and kill, sometimes at the same time.

Also, honestly, in my opinion Tupac isn’t like all other gangstas. He can be violent and rash but he was really a generous and awesome guy.

Thank you, this has been very useful when playing with a group of kids who couldn’t pay attention to the objective for more than 5 seconds…