BREACH - Crime Thriller WIP (Update #40 30-March-2019) (800k~ Word)

comedy
young-adult-fiction
nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice
#3708

sometimes i am amaze how resilient our MC is… i got shot in the neck once i think.

2 Likes

#3709

There are two reasons, one being the fact that she’s frustrated over Gabriel not noticing her, and two, she’s been watching you for way longer than you think…

Hey, you can’t enjoy the game if you’re dead :wink:

8 Likes

#3710

It does make me feel like gabriel sometimes but i cant be as badass as him :sweat:

3 Likes

#3711

Gabriel isn’t really that special… Gabriel can withstand numerous wounds and still fight, so can the MC.

Gabriel can use adrenaline going through him to quickly come up with a decision, almost as if like slowing down time around him, well so can the MC…

The only thing that makes Gabriel above average is the fact that he’s always at the very least one or two steps ahead of everyone… because he’s the one laying the tracks.

4 Likes

#3712

How long, exactly? Before we joined up with the Archangels?

1 Like

#3713

I wouldn’t be supprised if she new are real parents

2 Likes

#3714

Once I got hit twice in the stomach, once in the torso, once in the neck, and multiple times in the arms and legs. I had zero health, and -8 to agility.

Btw if anyone gets a random like from me it’s because I was looking through the old posts for memes

2 Likes

#3715

so when we romance Raquel shes like Gabriel had his chance

2 Likes

#3716

Raquel, Gabriel, and Michael have been watching you since before you made contact with Kaidan

Who knows, maybe the entire trio knows :man_shrugging:

Oof, yeah, I’m lowering the penalties. What difficulty were you playing in?

Yup, she’s pretty much done with him…

6 Likes

#3717

I give Raquel all the peting Gabriel never gave her ands other things.

7 Likes

#3718

Normal. It wasn’t a bad time, it was rather fun, seeing my mc become a bullet sponge. As you can imagine, my mc racked up many relationship points with Raquel.

I’ve an idea, which I found rather funny when it first popped into my mind. See, whenever Rook goes into our apartment, and sees Raquel, he says that line from “what’s new pussycat”. Wait, he says that exact quote. Raquel pulls a gun on him, then he’s all like “woah”. It’s the first line to the song. I got the idea when I watched salt and pepper diner last night. I’d recommend watching that.

2 Likes

#3719

Hello, I’ve been following this thread for a while now and I thought that maybe I should post something so here goes nothing!

I have to say, I really like plot so far and I say this as someone who doesn’t really care for heist/crime thrillers type stories (I’m more into fantasy stories) so I can’t wait to see how the plot unfolds! Also, I think the characters are really fun to be around and can’t wait to learn more about them. ᵔᴥᵔ

To be honest, I almost play this game/demo every time I feel down or upset since it’s (for the most part) good lighthearted fun and/or when I want to play as a stoic badass since I always play as a kindhearted pacifist (umm well, as much as I can anyway depending on the game of course). Also, it gives me an excuse to listen to Payday 2’s ost (mainly the tract Death Row Assault).

Umm, I don’t know if it’s okay with anyone (and if it isn’t then I’ll edit this part out) but I made my MC with an avatar maker game. I hope you guys like it. ^^

Summary

From here : https://picrew.me/image_maker/43267
[Everything is in Japanese but I think it’s easy enough to get around.]

Please, pretend the surgical mask is one of the masks from the game. It was the best I could do.

Her name is Bianca Bailey, a stoic Vigilante who honestly shouldn’t be wielding a gun, if she wasn’t so good at talking to her enemies down (or being good at putting a front) she would be deader then William Shakespeare. Is far more brain than brawn which is kinda easy to tell since she is fairly thin.

Prefers to be quiet and usually won’t talk unless she has to, always straight and to the point but sometimes can’t help but ask the sillier questions. Tends to be nice most of the time (it’s a little hard to tell since she so quiet and anything) although she can’t help but want to tease Anthony (and maybe Kaz).

While not against killing (I mean, have seen what she does for a living) in some form, it’s just if she were going to jail, she would rather be sentenced for stealing from a bank with no blood on her hands (unless it was an accident). Will kill if, and only if, she has no other choice.

Bianca cares deeply for Mouse (she sees Mouse like a sister) and will do everything to keep her safe, tends to put Mouse before herself and will lie to keep Mouse from worrying about her. Wants to try and have a good/decent relationship with the rest of the Archangels, will she actually be able to do that who knows.

I’m not sure who she’ll romance first but I know it’ll either be Gabriel, Rook, or Kaz (since they’re my favorite male ROs), and maybe Anthony as well… Wait is he going to be one? I think it was mentioned somewhere he was but I can’t remember off hand.

I’m so sorry if that was boring and if I did something wrong.

5 Likes

#3720

Well thank you! I know that this game isn’t your normal run of the mill story, even in it’s own genre this game can be a bit weird at times. :sweat_smile:

Nice! This game’s comedy is there to complement the amount of seriousness that the crime genre brings, and honestly, it’s just a bit of my own sense of humour leaking out in my writing. I don’t intend this game to be fully comedic, but after making Rook, I’ve just decided to go with it and see where it goes…

Also, payday 2’s OSTs really do help in writing some of the heists scenes (Black Yellow Moebius, Razormind, Backstab and many more)

However, each and every character has their own little playlist that I like to listen to when I write their hangouts. I’ve just finished Carly’s hangout, which was basically carried out listening mostly to Stromae and Joe Dasin’s Champs Elysees.

I’m now working on Charlie’s hangout, which will consist mostly of Queen (Specifically don’t stop me now), and The Cat Empire songs.

This song is basically Charlie in a nutshell :arrow_down:

…Maybe I should release a playlist for each character? :thinking:

Finally someone who’s willign to romance Kaz :laughing: Poor guy doesn’t get much attention…

And yes, Anthony will eventually become a romance option, but only in the 2nd part of the game…

You did nothing wrong. I thorougly enjoy going through how players play my game and what they take out of it, either joys of frustration, any critique or compliment is welcome :smile:

5 Likes

#3721

Not a problem! The weirdness is (part) of what makes it so much fun!

Ah interesting! I admit that I only first find out about this thread/story about a year ago (although I’ve been a member for two months), so I don’t know a lot of earlier plot details (unless that was never before known and the older demo was the same tone wise as the current demo’s tone) and I’m a sucker for behind the scenes stuff. :o

I totally get you on that, music can really when doing anything (well, most of time anyway). I think writing with music on can really help with whatever mood you need for that scene.

Ooh that would be fun! Sometimes a lot can be said about a character from a chosen song.

Of course! To be honest, I was going to romance anyway (since I thought he was cute to begin with) but after that second hangout segment when you hit that persuade mark just right… I’ll admit that I’m a huge sucker for love at first sight. Oh wait, does he mean the MC if female or someone else since if I remember right, you mentioned that if female it’s the MC he falls for but it’s someone else (I know who but I just can’t remember her name) if the MC is male or non-binary (or was it only if male) or did I misread something. Not that it’s a big deal I just thought I’d ask, I just don’t want to look like a dummy for missing something.

Ahh okay, I knew it was mentioned and well I have a pretty bad memory so I was a bit worried that I was remembering it wrong.

Oh of course, I mostly say it out of habit now and well sometimes you never know. I thought you would be okay with it but it’s like my mother always : “It’s always better to be safe then sorry”!

2 Likes

#3722

E x c u s e M e

What

5 Likes

#3723

plot twist micheal is are father

11 Likes

#3724

Thank you, Roman, for giving me nightmares.

4 Likes

#3725

you sir are very welcome.:grin:

4 Likes

#3726

Oh god no.:fearful:

Why do all these emojis look so wierd?:eyes:

1 Like

#3728

I would say rook but he is a Ro and that would be weird

2 Likes