BREACH - Crime Thriller WIP (UPDATE #37! 30-January-2019) (800k~ Word)

young-adult-fiction
comedy
nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice

#3448

Thanks Vee.


#3449

@MichaelMaxwell, it would be really great if you could look into it. Thanks in advance!! :blush:


#3450

I got to play some more of the demo, And here’s what I found

Summary


People


Floor



It


With Her shotgun and smacks


Presses


Of His Mateba revolver


Swigs


Stop


It was


Bag


Smirk And chuckles


#3451

That awkward moment when it’s easier to break the law then ‘deal with the feels’…:no_mouth:


Okay firstly: shy? pessimistic? And here I thought my only problem was that I had no idea what he looked like! It’s amazing to think that Gabriel has like zero qualms about being riddled with bullets on the daily but the minute there’s romance he’s taking a rain check… s h o o k


#3452

Fixed!

It’s easier to do what you do best than to deal with something you’re not even sure what to do about.

If there was anything Gabriel’s good at, it’s rowing through feelings like it’s nothing. He was trained to push away personal feelings, so much so you’d be forgiven to mistake him as aromantic, or asexual. He’s the kind of person who’d talk strategic planning when you tell him that you’d like to plan for a date.

You’re going to have to unwind him a bit. Ease his constant tension.


#3453


My favorite Rook moment. :joy::heart_eyes::heart:


#3454

Rook is definitely one of the most fun characters to write. That particular scene (And the scene that comes after that) was written in a coffee shop on a piece of Greenpeace brochure. :laughing:


#3455

Thank you for creating Rook, I can’t wait to see more of him. Anyway, I have a question (I don’t know if it was already answered because I’m not keeping up with all the replies, which I need to do), but is Rook going to be a RO?


#3456

Yes, yes he will be.

So far, here’s the list of available ROs, their gender requirements, and whether or not they’re done, respectively.

Mouse = Any (Available)
Annabelle = Any (Available)
Charles = Any (WIP)
Justin = Male MC (WIP)
Carly = Any (Available)
Hayne = Female MC (Male MCs are possible but harder to achieve) (Available)
Kazton = Female MC (WIP)
Megan House = Any(Unlockable) (WIP)
Rook = Any (WIP)
Gabriel = Any (WIP)
Raquel = Any (WIP)


#3457

Raquel was one of the most interesting characters, up there with Gabriel, so it’s great to hear that she’s gonna be an RO. I’m really intrigued to know more about her.


#3458

Found a small mistake from my… nitpicking. Either a typo or inconsistent.

Nitpicking stuff

In Chapter1A line 864/870, at the second option after Gabriel gave me a debit card. The text said he gave me 5000 while in the code it’s 1000.

Or maybe Gabriel just trolling me


#3459

Fixed! Nitpicking like this is very much encouraged!

Could be. Who knows, maybe that 5K doesn’t include taxes, rents, and maintenance bills. :man_shrugging:

Gabriel’s and Raquel’s romance are coming in the next update. Rook however will take a tad bit longer. He’s a bit of a … special person :sweat_smile:


#3460

Well, that sounds like Gabriel. Trolling people while still keeping it straight


#3461

I come bearing N̶i̶t̶p̶i̶c̶k̶s̶ typos!

Summary


She


Pronoun error here


A dog


A ferocious


He


I think it should be Ici


#3462

Just another nitpicking report. Not sure if it’s a bug or not

At Chapter1A
I got hurt at the clash with the outfit. When I arrive at The Mill, Mouse does treat my wounds (IIRC there’s a report that saying Mouse doesn’t). But the thing is it’s only in the text/story, my health bar and wound(s) is still on the same value until the beginning of chapter 2.

Not a big deal though, since there’s no action stuff after The Mill, it just feels kinda weird that Mouse treat my wound(s) but it doesn’t affect anything.

Maybe you forgot to add that healwounds thingy when Mouse finishing up treating MC’s wound(s) on line… 5146 I guess.


#3463

I guess it helps to know someone’s background before pursuing them. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get those ‘I keep people at arms’ length’ vibes from him. I don’t know whether I find this more sad or sweet but if you wanted to endear Gabriel to me even further, mission accomplished!:sob:

IvolunteerAsTribute.gif I seriously thought I could wait until the next update but I just wanna make my sinnamon roll happy tbh

Genius clearly strikes everywhere :tipping_hand_woman:


#3464

Fixed!

Well, you needn’t wait much longer because the hotfix update will contain the two new Romances, Raquel and Gabriel. And it’s coming pretty soon.

Wasn’t the weirdest way I’ve come up with a scene :laughing:


#3465

:eyes: Thank you for making Rook a RO.

-Headcanon- My MC actually kept one of the photos because they have a crush on him (it’s my MC’s favorite photo).:heart_eyes:


#3466

memeLotr01hype


#3467

What’re the cheats