BoysLove AlohaBeach (WIP)

For the questions, yes, I did find out who outed my mc…a pity we weren’t able to hurt them more actually. But what is even worse is that the whole outing the mc in a particularly truamatic fashion happens again, as second time, courtesy of the grandparents.

After all the mc was sent to live with them because of a traumatic outing, not because he wants to experiment with his sexuality on a fun GAP year. If that was the goal there are numerous options these days to broadcast your orientation to the world through social media like Instagram TikTok or for the really bold, Grindr.

I mean my mc wanted to go to college…not start a minimum wage “career” in fast-food, particularly since he had an athletic scholarship that is probably gone now, even if he could re-apply next year the scholarship will be gone and that is if he even has his highschool diploma now. :worried:
I don’t hold this against the story too much because this is necessary to get the mc to the plot, but I will note that in this regard an athletic scholarship is not equal to an academic or performing arts one. Missing out on a year in the prime of his life would hurt an athlete far more than an actor or a scholar, even if by some minor miracle the mc could get another full-ride scholarship to a decent university again.

Plot-wise I particularly hated that my mc was dragged to that cafe with Mila’s girlfriend to get an impromptu sex talk he neither wants nor needs and a forced second and publicly humiliating outing to the ro’s. Sure makes my mc re-live the trauma of the first outing all over again.
The talk is unnecessary and patronizing to the mc. My mc already knows what gay means and how sex is done, he does not need the gay version of the birds and bees talk and certainly not from a complete stranger he just met at that.
I really wanted my mc to go at his own pace with the ro’s and tell them, at least officially, when he’s ready to tell them himself at a point a bit later in the relationship. Right now Nathen is just a fun surfing buddy to my mc…even if he does find the boy super attractive. But that does not mean that, coming from the place, literally and figuratively where the mc comes from my mc is ready to go and act like a couple in public, for all the world to see (odds are a guy like Nathen is quite active on social media and my mc is not ready to show up in his feed as boyfriend just quite yet) or say the :L word after one or two get-togethers that don’t even really qualify as proper dates.
Here, again, the forced second outing robs the already vulnerable mc of the agency to let the guy he might fancy know at a time of his choosing and gives the relationship a sexual dimension way too soon for my poor traumatized mc.
Pardon the pun but my mc would have wanted to actually befriend the guys first before it was strongly implied that he’s an available piece of ass in a way that encourages the guys to pursue him in ways other than friendship now. If my mc wanted to be Grindr sex buddies he could have just gone ahead and made a profile for that, except that his mental state is obviously very much not ready to go there yet.

Lastly, and this is probably advice for the future when you are closer to publishing, this game could benefit from an overhaul by an editor in the future. I would hate to see a potentially good coming out story, minus the one really problematic scene be diminished by a raft of grammar and spelling issues.

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Yeah to be honest, I was considering an overhaul on the cafe scene part, This was not how I pictured at first but I my mind was prioritizing coherency and wanting to introduce Ray as the main point at the cafe, but the guys were truly supposed to reveal their sexual orientation at that scene, and I was supposed to give mc the Choice to come out or not to them

While I was writing the cafe, that was the time, I was having a brain drain and catching up with my college work but as my semester is about to end, I’ll probably do an overhaul on this part while, I work in chapter 5.

Thank you for telling me this and I did not picture this part, The college scholarship choice part was supposed to only help the MC gives stats. I should have probably made a better choice than use college. My intention was to hit two birds with one stone, the skill stats and get the ball rolling to leave town. I’m not sure about rewriting this part of the story, but since this is a fictional BL coming out novel story, I’m sure a miracle will happen or could be done in the end.

Who says they won’t be back?:smirk:

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Hello Everyone, from the author

Listen, I may not be able to follow the update schedule of four months this time and may have to delay chapter 5 due to college sem now starting early but expect an update on Dec 29 for chapter 5. The first anniversary of posting my demo story here in this forum. I’ll probably be finished chapter 5 by then. Or I could also finished early on late November. Which ever comes first I guess.

But thanks for your patience and hope you guys continue reading my work.

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Author here again

Guys as I said and promise that there would be update on Dec 29. I am sorry that I may not be able to update today. My College thesis is taking a lot of my time and Im in an emotional rollercoaster this entire Christmas. So for now chapter 5 will be delayed again and can’t say when but soon I hope. Im also conflicting with myself on where to end chapter 5 and looking at my storyboard right to fix the plot and process of the story.

Chapter 5 is taking a long time compared to other chapters due the new coding I’m learning and how to make the story coherent. So there’s been many setbacks and fixing with the code.

The only good news is that chapter 5 is 55% complete. Thank you for your understanding.

Btw, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year​:tada::blush:

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