Blood of Morana (WIP) - updated 11 Nov 2018

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#21

Both your guards are deities

Hmm I wonder why they are working as enforcers collecting loans in this town, certainly adds to the mystery of who the Master is

Flins is a Wendish death god who may or may not be the wendish version of the name Veles if your curious!


#22

Let’s just say they are one of the big fish, which is why they could afford to “hire” both Simarg and Zaria.

Nice! Thanks for sharing! Should I mention that I absolutely love to learn about any kind of mythology? Or is writing this story proof enough?


#23

Chill, its impossible dont make association, Mor is more, just joking.


#24

Cool as a winter, right.

Progress report!
Some of you might have already noticed that the demo got a slight (and I mean SLIGHT) update. Currently, the word count is close to 5k words with a single playthrough clocking in at 2k.

And that is only with 1/3 of the carpenter’s scenes being fully written. Huh.


#25

to me you did good job on this


#26

I like it. I’ll help you out when I can. Good luck.


#27

@Takashi_Shin Good to hear that!

@VainCorsair Thanks! Help is always appreciated/wanted, especially since I tend to write on the go. Oh, the chaos …


#28

Just a suggestion, when you update thr demo, put the update date in the title, so it would be easier to keep up with the new updates.


#29

Noted and added!

And since I am already posting: I am finishing the carpenter’s events and sloooowly moving towards Sonia. Why is she the only one I keep referring to by her name and not profession, is a mystery. Maybe she doesn’t plan on staying a side character? :thinking:


#30

Update happened. Current word count is a little over 8k words, with a single playthrough still being close to 2k words. God help me, I still have a little less than 1/3 of carpenter’s scenes to do.

Yeah, I should probably mentioned that two side characters got renamed.

EDIT: Uploaded the right demo version, where you can actually play from the beginning … not from a random choice onward. Forgot to remove the testing label, my bad.


#31

I just did two quick playthroughs. Brana’s grandmotherly attitude, and how Simarg, Zaria, and the main character react to her, makes me laugh. I also really like how, if you say you don’t want to take the money from them, or if you feel like you must, you get different options later on based on how you decided.


#32

Brana has crept into my heart, without me even realizing. She is one sneaky old lady.

Awesome to hear that the effort of writing different scenes was worth it!


#33

I have been holding off on this because the premise absolutely drew me in, and I wanted to have some time on my hands when I do a proper read. It was certainly worth it!

Here are some questions I have:

First question, would you mind adding a lore section to the stats screen? I’m kinda ignorant of Slavic mythology or any kind of mythology, really and it would certainly help being able to go through that section from time to time. So far, it can include what we’ve been introduced to in the very beginning, then it can expand as and when the story does?

Second (this one is probably a little silly), does our character possess both Winter and Death magic? Shall we be able to implement both of these as and however we wish (later on when we can, of course), or do we have to choose one of them to focus/rely on?

Third, this one is about stats. Shouldn’t some of the choices that raise the Altruistic stat also raise the Compassionate stat? For example, 1) when Simarg proceeds to threaten Samo to pay up, and we choose “Stop, Simrag!” and subsequently say “This isn’t right!”, and 2) when Samo offers to work for our master and we choose “No, I can’t allow this” - I thought that those should have raised the compassionate stat, even if a little bit.

That’s all for now, this is a great story and I’ll be providing feedback whenever I can. Looking forward to more!


#34

bows The compliment is very well received, my friend.

Will work it in in the next update~ Quite likely, we will also need a separate section on the deities and uh, titles.

Great idea about the lore expanding as the story grows!

I’m still learning myself. Let’s explore it together, hm :books:

Yes.You will be always able to wield both and can choose to raise them equally or focus only on one. It really depends on your preferences.

They absolutely should and the choices you listed are one of such examples. Thanks for bringing them up :slight_smile: Actually, I’m not sure if I will be keeping both altruistic and compassionate, because the two tie in together more often than not.

I’m planning to check how other WIPs/CoG/HG handle personality stats. Know of any that do this particularly well?


#35

I agree, however, sometimes a ruthless MC can choose to be altruistic only because it suits their own interests (such as, keeping up a good reputation/facade) which is not being compassionate. You could provide a choice for the player to decide why they chose an altruistic option, for example 'I genuinely feel bad and want to help them’ and ‘I only chose to help them because [reason]’. You could merge the two traits of course, but it would probably decrease the roleplay potential.

Personality stats are mostly well-done in character-driven stories, one I can think of right now is The Wayhaven Chronicles. There were also stats that could be considered to be not very different from one another, like charming, friendly and easygoing and they were handled really well.


#36

Truly fascinating start. I don’t see enough of Slavic mythology!


#37

I want to find how it turns.


#38

Good point! Seems I will be leaving the stats as they are right now.

Reading time for me!

Stories about Slavs are rare, aren’t they? From the top of my head, I only remember the ones about rusalki. Do you know of more?

Anyway, good to hear you enjoyed it! :snowflake:

Me too.

EDIT: Just uploaded the demo version that contains all of the carpenter’s scenes, the lore and the deities’ descriptions.


#39

I took a look at the deities and lore page. I like the descriptions of the deities and that I can re-read the intro story over again. :relaxed:

Few things I noticed:

Under Rod’s description:
There, they succumbed to the deep slumber full of dreams of the world left behind.

I think you should take out the comma after “there”.

Under the twin’s description:
It is speculated that if one leaves this world, other will be quick to follow.

I think you should add a “the” before “other”. Actually, I think you might want to remove this comma as well.

Under Perun’s description:
Some liken his temper to the lighting, he wields: quick to struck, quick to cool.
“Lighting” should be “lightning” and remove the comma after it. “Struck” should be “strike”. :zap:

When I visit the deities page I can only choose next, sending me to the lore screen. I have to go back to the game and then return to the stats page if I was to see my info. And then when I get to the lore page, I thought General Information was more lore, like describing how the stats work or something, but it returns to the info. Maybe put “Return to General Information”?


#40

Sounds cool! Can’t wait~