Thank you! These things should be fixed now. I’m glad to hear you like the demo so far : )
Your welcome and oh what storys yet betold with daliah and promotion hmm have the start of theory in my head lol.
But did notice something further in after leaving office and it’s mentioned the healers district and brother there is a sentence structure I guess would be the type of error speaking of brother and are exams and of our mother. In that paragraph that sentence isn’t smooth it repeats words that could be better served with new ones. Sorry if not helpful starting to fall asleep again lol but still enjoying
Will definitely play more and again I think I saw a smilar issue earlier in the story but didn’t think anything of it at the time.
In case I do fall asleep before posting more have a safe trip and I look forward to what you do next with your story.
This sums up my experience pretty well. Ice Queens for the win.
I really loved Tam, he is such a lake of wholesomeness in a sea of angst.
Rarely do I like a “sidekick” as much as I do Aariz. He’s just great. Way to go sending his ex flying away.
Huh, this fell off my radar for a while for some reason. Ah, well, glad to be back.
“test the limits of my magic on you”, “finally senses”
There’s something miswritten in that first option there.
“a serpent’s teeth”, “red” in “red lines” should be capitalised, missing a space after “both.”, “you know better”
“hues of pinks and oranges”. Also, I’m not sure I understand two things:
1 - The clean water is magic-made?, and
2 - “the bag of pieces”, pieces of what? EDIT: oh, wait, from context from the beggar who rushes the horses, pieces is slang for money? Unless I missed something, I don’t think it’s clear that that’s what “pieces” are in the dressing scene.
“you and Aariz head to the stables”
“As you and Aariz make your way further into it, you dismount from your horses.”
Man, Aariz is a freaking jackdaw.
“before you and Aariz had even passed your final exams”. Also, I’d have to replay to be absolutely sure, but I’m reasonably certain I set my hair as brown.
Dinner over. Once more unto the breach!
here be spoilers
“when you met her”
Either “a bracelet” or “bracelets”. If it’s “a bracelet”, it should also be “don’t want it to slip out of my grasp”. EDIT: Once I join Aariz at the market, it’s clear it’s “bracelets”.
Sorry, Aariz, but if I’m picking between “food” and “shopping for shiny things”, “food” wins every time.
Two consecutive "she"s in the third paragraph.
“who is offering ointments”
“smartest” shows up twice, which is odd.
There’s something wrong with the last two sentences; I THINK you forgot to close the quotation marks at the end of the next-to-last sentence.
“no heat behind your tone” (two corrections)
“one could accuse”
Coding problem: I started off by going with Tam, then went to the market, and now I get the option of going to the mess hall to meet Tam again. If I do, I inevitably hit this:
You might want to make it impossible to visit places you’ve been to before. EDIT: Huh, the smithy becomes unavailable once you’ve been there, so I presume it’s just the mess hall that’s wonked (and, presumably, the market if you choose to leave with Aariz).
Not exactly a problem, but the text of the “next” button comes out a bit meh. After all, I already know it’s Dalia there, so “the other person is revealed” is not really suspenseful. I suggest removing Dalia’s name at the end there (making it just “No offence to you, of course.”)
Two commas together.
Oddity: if you don’t go to the temple, you don’t get to set yourself as atheist, and even if you do you still pray anyway. Aariz’s an atheist and he also prays. Twice. Is this like mandatory stuff for Fixers and if we don’t do it Dalia nags us about it or something?
And that’s the end. Always a pleasure, looking forward to Chpt3.
This is definitely a new favorite of mine. I am very much a fan of Aariz…
And extremel hot
Love Love how Aariz dealt with Raz not gonna lie. Hope we get another confrontation in the future
This happens when your pious and leave a offering then choose the second option.
This happens when choosing the shy option with Aariz during the bathing scene.The text repeats.
There was another bug where you could eat with Tamys,go to the Market with Aariz,and then eat with Tamys again along with the game crashing afterwards.
As much as I try, I cant seem to get this scene. When does this happen?
If you choose to split with him in marketplace, he’ll visit the stand alone and you’ll run into his ex who’s very salty.
Oh thank you… I never split up as I thought that it would mean missing out on aariz’s scenes. Going to play another round.
Ha! This meme gave me a good laugh . I’m glad you’re liking both Dalia and Aariz so far. And Tam! Tam is truly the best big bro and deserves his dues
Thank you for finding all of these mistakes! I, unforutantely, have been super busy packing for the last day and a half and haven’t had all that much time to try to comb through things, but I’ll definitely adress them once I get back.
Thank you, friend! That means a lot to me
And extremely flattered XD
Thank you for pointing these out to me. Like I said earlier, most of these are going to have to wait until I get back from my trip to fix. I believe I’m managed to fix the bug at the temple, however.
Things ended between them on a very nasty note. So chances are, you’ll get another confrantation. Or at least hear of one again via the other.
Ohhh! Another WIP to stalk! Lol but fr, i love it
Aariz is clearly unhinged, but i like his duality AND it’s believable, considering that he was indeed raised to be a killing machine. I felt my heart crack when he said that to Dalia so softly. I have a soft spot for him so i had to give him a pretty necklace so he can stop pouting.
Dalia, I’m not too sure about, mc misses her but is pretty hurt about it, but we’re gonna ignore the whole thing bcoz pride .
I didn’t take a screenshot (sorry)but i got an error on chap 2 bcoz i picked the mess hall twice (it wasn’t greyed out after i picked it the first time) and it broke the game
Yeah I got the same error so I skipped that option entirely. I live for the angst between the characters. I’m looking forward to see how the story will progress. I’m already loving the interactions between Mc and the brother.
The code is “line 2675: No selectable options” for the mess hall error
I definitely lead Aariz and myself to death if we continue to be like that lol. But I can’t scold him!
Aariz is… Aariz. He is not a good person for a multitude of different reasons. But he was not born so. He isa product of a darker side of the King’s Order, which will certainly be explored in the game. I’m glad you like him!
Tam’s dynamic with the MC is very fun to write. I’m glad you enjoyed it
Hm. I hadn’t considered it before, but would you like a chance to do so? You’ll be able to keep him in check in the future, but I suppose I could work in an opportunity to criticize him in chapter 2 as well. This is an IF, after all, and I want the player to feel like they have enough choices.
I would like that. Because while I understand the concept of 'We were raised to be killing machines, I remind you we can play an mc who is soft-spoken and can use diplomacy and is weak toward blood and murdering people (even if it is your job). So in contrast to him? it feels like we have to babysit him the whole time, not because he can’t control himself…but because we are there to carry his ass over and over.
I wouldn’t say keep him in check, since I rather he realize by himself that he can control himself, for throwing himself recklessly, always putting me in the seat of ‘Support’ and having to bail his ass. In short: He needs to learn to restrain himself and grow up a bit.
I don’t expect a big change, but think first before you jump in the fire would be nice lol
After all, my Mc had her heart broken by Dalia and she is still pining over her and is butthurt…who got time for anything else?
But these are just my 2$ though, I did enjoy the demo very much.
Petition to blood eagle Raz.