Birth of a Hero (Superhero Theme WIP, Update 14-Nov, added speedsters)

super-powers

#21

Thank you for the wonderful WIP! It was very interesting. Also I’d like to correct you somewhere. Aral Sea is not in Uzbekistan, but in Kazakhstan. Thank you!


#22

This seems to be the case of all the offensive powers with stun, unless I am just being stupid (which is a distinct possibility)
I tried it with the first 5 power types and all of them did that.


#23

Question if we have time powers can we use them for super speed kinda like what Zoom does in The DC comics I believe his power is called Personal Time Manipulation


#24

“As hard as you can” or “with as much force as you can” maybe?
And maybe change the second punch to “hits (or blows) to the Black Cockroach’s head” so punch isn’t used twice in the paragraph?


#25

This I like. I like this a lot!


#26

Thank you all for the comments, they are very useful! I have started making adjustments already, though it’s going to take me some time to implement everything (I will implement all suggestions I have received so far).

@catorrina, I agree that my writing is VERY stilted! I come from academia, where we are a bit “dry” when writing (to say the least). All the comments you made were much appreciated! (when it comes to my own writing I find it difficult to find some of the things you pointed out, despite the fact I complain every time my students make such mistakes!)
@Snowpanther, the game is not gender locked, though RO are not included yet (there is the beginning of them, but they will only be added later… I ran out of time during CSComp…)
@Snowpanther All suggestions very much welcome! But yes, the game was cleaned and improved a lot since CSComp, though I still have many comments from judges to go through. I started with some of them, and added Time powers as a result.
@Curious_Boy, thanks for prooftesting the first time! I was distracted by trying to finish Highway Wars, but I want to work on this full time next month, so I figured out it might be better to get some more feedback before the competition

Specifically the bugs and changes I’ve corrected:

-Rewind time was added to the list of stats
-Changed the sun power description to “… passed out in the intense sunshine, which burnt your skin [Light powers]”
-Corrected bug when selecting invisibility
-Corrected flight but at the museum, you can now only fly, teleport, or jump around (if you have high agility) towards the stone.
-Corrected all grammar points up to post #16, thanks for all the suggestions!

Outstanding issues
-Place all powers chosen in the power choosing page
-Add extra fight component to first encounter with Steel Aeronaut, if MC can teleport or fly
-Re-write some of the dialogues for co-workers, to add flavour (a frequent complaint, so I need to work on this!)
-More things to do before confronting the Steel Aeronaut (this is what I’m currently working on, the MC will have a range of opportunities to meet other characters, which can be different for each playthrough, in order to add replayability. These are the only bits of this first half of the game that will be added). I’ve already partly coded meeting another superhero (and possible RO)
-Bug on newspaper headlines after first encounter with Steel Aeronaut (cannot find what is wrong…)
-Add extra time manipulation powers
-I got as far as post #16, will continue from there next time (no more time, sorry…)

@FutbolDude21586, I didn’t understand what you meant…
@MeltingPenguins, I’m not sure what you mean by powerpoints. Here they are only to choose the superpowers, it is not a mana-bar.


#27

Clicked on your profile, haha, I hadn’t noticed. As a wannabe engineer (someday in academia), I can see where the problem would come from (I may have only been a bit part in a publication, but we were definitely trained in the art of the lab reports).

Warmups help for me, if I’ve been stuck on a long report. Either I write a journal entry in my own ‘casual’ voice (the fun of needing to drop the backwoods dialect for a more eloquent speech pattern is I know how to do both), or I spend a few minutes on a quick scene with established characters (emphasis on established. I only use my longstanding guys), with plenty of dialogue. Go back through it to see if I’ve used contractions, fragments, slang, and if the characters sound like they should.

For me, working like that is a lot easier than starting off writing new material–I have something to compare it to, so I’m more prone to catch the dry stuff. Plus I don’t really need to worry about analyzing plot and variables and the like, since it’s a throwaway scene, which hones the focus. It’s usually a little rocky to start with, but gets better partway through, and gets me primed to write the ‘real’ stuff.


#28

So the option to care about Fred, I thought it was kinda annoying to have three options.
Like what if my character likes romance in the work place and loves the drama.
Yet, isn’t interested in Fred. Kinda broke immersion for me.
Just a thought, hopefully it made sense. Anyway, looking forward to more of this.


#29

I was wandering if maybe we should be able to use our mind Control powers on the woman at the party when she tells us her secret identity or maybe try to use them on the henchmen when she tells us they have our friends during the party


#30

Well, mind control on them would be difficult since they are robots :wink:
You mean, before we discover this?


#31

Yeah like somehow sense that there robots before the fighting scene


#32

I was kind of hoping in the job list you could choose to be a cop that would be cool.


#33

Is there a possibility of having necromancy powers?


#34


How come this says you’ve already touched the stone but two choices later you gain your powers?


#35

The magic of flashbacks!!


#36

ah yes that does make sense


#37

Am I the only one who feels that the sheer number of powers feels a bit crippling? I’ve spent a lot more time in character creation that the actual game, just choosing powers. As a side note, I’m curious as to why telekinesis isn’t under mind powers… but little details like that are unimportant.

I doubt I can add anything else to the convo though, seeing as pretty much everything I’m finding iffy (like the stilted writing) has already been mentioned.

Regardless, always nice to have another superhero game to play around with. Good luck with your game man.


#38

I will address many more of the bugs and suggestions next week (concentrating now on finishing Highway Wars).

Writing definitively needs to be improved… Will work on dialogue next week.

But otherwise you used the word crippling… I thought that the complaint in superhero games was that the we not enough powers… Opposite complaint?


#39

I personally think that the early power-selection-choice is too overwhelming.

Maybe you can put them into categories first (i.e. elements, darkness and light, mind powers, etc.)? Later on, you can put power-specialization-choice. It’ll smooth out the transition on character generation.


#40

It’s probably just me, what with being a teenager and all that, but I spend an enormous amount of time picking out powers instead of actually playing the game.