I love this I don’t have any other words for it except it’s amazing
That’s what I’ve figured out.
That’s nice to hear, hovewer Will definetly check the next updates.
I love those themes, mu giulty pleasure
I’m loving this so far.
I did spot a couple of typos on my second play through.
and I’m not sure about the second one but is it supposed to be there isn’t a way to reverse it?
I can’t wait to see more though
Was too busy playing Rome Total War to notice that the demo updated, so played it today.
I think this is the first time in a while that I’ve been hit by feels and the death sentence of a year.
Progress Update: 21 Oct 2022
I think I need to find a way to be a little more active here… I apologize for the lack of updates here, as I’ve not quite been able to slot in the time to hop onto the forums as much as I’ve liked; Tumblr has been easier for me to post little weekly updates of what I’ve done (or not done), but I’ll try to come on here more often so that you’ll have some inkling on what’s been going on too!
Currently, Chapter 2 stands at about 5.5k words! I’ve been taking it slow because of a lack of writing juice, and also because this will be the chapter I introduce the varied ways MC can deal with the fallout of their “death sentence”. Being a sensitive topic and an emotional one, I’m trying to figure out the right balance between capturing the different ways we can face grief, but at the same time not run the risk of getting too much. Or, too rambling/introspective, instead of moving the plot forward.
I am embarrassed that it took so long for me to reply to this… but I am heartened that the feels are coming through! And I will try to maintain that throughout as well. <3
Don’t apologise I love your story, honestly some creaters take years to update there demos and with much poorer quality than what you create. I’m sure we all understand it’s ok to take a break.
100%, please dont burn yourself out! as supporter said, its okay to take a break, you dont have to apologize at all
I’m embarrassed to be mentioned.
Ignoring typos, there really isn’t anything else to say but WOW
I love the way that you write, especially your skill in poignancy. I’m really, really looking forward to how you’ll handle the oncoming scenes, and based on what you’ve already made, I know it’ll only get better.
I hope this thread gets more popularity because you undoubtedly deserve it!
I very enjoyed this demo! I’m excited to see what comes next, but don’t rush yourself to it. Take the time you need, and we’ll be here.
Progress Update: 3 March 2023
Thank you for all those who liked or left a comment here, despite my inactivity <3 also, I’m not dead! I’ve just been really busy, with work and health taking away too many spoons.
I have, however, been writing - things are not ready for an update yet, but it’s on the horizon. Here’s a little more insight on what I’ve managed to do:
Current total word count for Chapter 2: 21k
Total current word count: 65k
Chapter 2 will take our protagonist through the initial weeks of their new reality, with 3 main branches in which they can take. Branches with seemingly-innocent choices that may have implications down the road…
I’ll have to finish writing a few more variations, before working on proofreading and editing to polish things up - my brain cannot think in a linear fashion, so the scenes are an embarrassingly big mess right now.
On when the update may be: I’m really hesitant about setting an estimated date, since I don’t want to disappoint anyone if I can’t meet it. I do, however, hope that it will at least happen before May.
I’m really glad to hear that you are still alive, not because of the WIP, (okay, I would be lying if it wouldn’t be partly because I need to know how it will play out with MC and the blackbirds ) more because you are still here, alive and hopefully well soon again without too much stress on your side.
I need to say that I love all the LI’s, the setting of the story, even the concept that we as the MC will die… I’m looking forward to read more, but please no rush
Having just finished this demo, I find it interesting because of the premise however, the thing that irked me was the constant flipping of timeframes and going from present to past and then back again. I would have personally preferred it if it was a more linear progression, or at least, less swapping between times but overall the story is interesting and I will keep an eye on this story in the future.
Hello there @NSG , thank you for giving my demo a try and for leaving your feedback!
Initially, I did aim for what you suggested, but did not go through with it. This was because the time gaps between each sequence - and the lack of context between each one, should they be presented linearly - meant that they cannot fit well in a linear fashion. This was why I chose to use contextual clues to bring forth the “flashback” scenes, if you will.
I do however see where you are coming from! Relooking the chapters, I think I can find a way to rework/combine some scenes. The update for this will be pushed out at the same time I upload chapter two!
I’m of a similar perspective that there is a sense of ‘whiplash’ from the constant timeline jumping. I do really, really enjoy this conceptually though and I’m excited to see how it’ll develop from here. I was a little worried since I saw it was not updated recently, but hearing an update is coming… I am looking forwards to it very much! Good luck with writing!
When the revamped chapter one is uploaded, I’d appreciate if you could let me know if it’s smoother and less jarring.
I’m rarely online on my personal laptop, so I’m not on the forums as much. I do post weekly updates on tumblr though! I unfortunately hadn’t gotten as much written in the later part of 2022; I had developed a new chronic condition which really took away all my spoons for an extended time.
I’m slowly getting them back though, and am aiming for a May update. Crossing fingers that I can meet that. Thank you for your support!
The premise and story has potential, I think it may even be a Fallen Hero/The Exile masterpiece if done right. I do think having 6 romance interests for the game to be a bit much, 2-3 or maybe 4 seems to be the sweet spot.
Some issues I would I would say would be the constant going back on forth between present and past being a major issue as it confuses the reader and therefore it lacks “thrill”.
We have to feel like we’re in the action, in the hospital, in the fight as interactive text games are first person and not third person.
Also a shame you can’t choose the romance interests genders like in other games but overall I think it has potential and its themes are good. Keep up the good work, take your time.
Also if it one day manages to succeed I think it would be a shame to make the story stand-alone, stand alone stories aren’t as great as long stories with world building, thats why Fallen Hero is a masterpiece, unfortunately Wayhaven failed in lore and worldbuiding, learn from the mistakes of others.
Looking forward to chapter 2