Thank you for the response! After reading through the feedback, I did have an idea for a more ambiguous cover. Will draft it sometime, but right now I need to focus on writing!
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Hello Everyone,
I am here to give a progress update for Before the Incident, I have finished one of the branches after the duel against . Now I’m currently working on the alternate branch after the fight. The character branch split will have Syo in one path and Tenth in the other path. Also, I had an idea for an April 1st Twist for the story which I decided to flesh out a bit more for the update, this is where if the MC dies at the end of the prologue and you play as the other character with the MC. That’s all I wanted to drop. Update should be around during the beginning of May!
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Add /mygame after the url
Games on cogdemos got a new url and the old ones don’t work anymore
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A crash out path you say-
I’m interested.
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@Tylerif @Watermelon1 Thank you for bringing attention to this, I fixed the link so it should be good to go! Shoot, makes me wonder how long this has been a problem 
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I just wanted to hop in and say that this has easily become one of my favorite demos on this website - the characterization, the deep rooted anguish, the fight scenes and good lord the flashbacks; fantastically written, and I keep coming back for more.
So far, my favorites are Syo (why does he get so little love from the fanbase, from what I’ve seen?,) Apollo (love the unspoken route for him,) Abel (little shit…,) and Ib (guiltily.) Wanderer is my go-to power every time, it’s just so cool to see used.
Keep up the great work, and I look forward to seeing how the story progresses.
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@Kaf_Kaffiend Thank you for the kind words, that means a lot 
I am quite surprised that a good chunk of people like Ib’s character haha 
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A good antagonist is one you love to hate (or just really strongly dislike), so in terms of Ib’s characterization, you’ve done really well.
The praise for how you build up fully fledged, nuanced people is a bit understated here in the thread, but every time it is remarked on, it is more than deserved. I’m also a Syo enjoyer, so I agree that his lack of positive attention is a bit strange.
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I appreciate the compliment, I try my best to make every character have depth, so I’m happy whenever it gets acknowledged 
I’ve been told a good amount of times that my story is underrated, which makes me wonder if I’m not advertising it well enough or if my audience is niche. Either way, I’m grateful that people chose to read my story and enjoyed it
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Feedback Request
Hello everyone, I took a 3 day break writing BTI, which gave me some time to reflect on the story. I think this would be a good time to request feedback of the story. I plan to add more flavor text regarding the MC’s height, ambition, and Contract. There have been moments of that incorporated in the story, but I would like to beef that aspect up. Besides that, I would love to hear feedback about the story so I may keep it in mind. Some example questions I would ask is:
- What would you like to see more in the story?
- What could be added to the pre-existing content to enhance the reading experience?
- What were some highlights of the story?
- What were some parts of the story where it felt like the plot was dragging?
- Are there any new mechanics you would like to see in the final version?
- Etc.
This feedback will be essential in developing my story as I try to consider the audience’s opinions. Thank you once again!
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Hi Everyone,
I wanted to let everyone know that I have uploaded a mini-update, around 12k words. This will wrap up the Sealed Dimension Arc. I also included the prologue for Anna/Apollo’s Route, where you can choose to go on their path near the end of the prologue. Finally, I took in mind of all the feedback regarding the book cover and this was what I came up with!
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Thanks a lot
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Thank you for bringing this up, I found out there was a random space that made a tiny indent, it should be fixed now! However, you were basically at the end which doesn’t have much left, so I’ll put a transcript of the rest:
Tenth looks at the RV. The desert’s dry air…it’s different. It would be another night to appreciate the stars, but tonight is not the night. A sprout of grass blossoms near her foot.
She can already tell this mission already has results. Or perhaps consequences. She looks at Syo, who puffs another cigarette. She has no intention to stop him. At least not now. There’s a tense expression on his face. She can’t blame him. After all, ‘Xiao’ is here.
Xiao claps. “It’s funny to see the two of you here. Odd coincidence, wouldn’t you say?”
Syo speaks coldly. “Enough games, Xiao. Why were you in there? What happened?”
“Must you call me ‘Xiao’? That’s the role I play here for now, but since it’s just the three of us, I think we can refer to our actual identities. I mean, Tenth flat out announced it to everyone.” Xiao leans in with a smirk to Syo. “Isn’t that right…Sixth?”
Suddenly, a giant hand restrains Xiao. Gloved and white like a cartoon mascot. Xiao speaks calmly. “Oh? So this is your Contract? I’d say it fits the glove.” Crickets. “No? Well, I’m sure that got a laugh somewhere.” The fabric against Xiao’s tunic tightens from the hand. An illusion so lifelike it could kill Xiao. “Is this how you killed people? I’d say that’s on-brand.”
Tenth summons out a saber made of golden light. It shimmers and vibrates the air. The tip is close to Xiao’s neck. “Talk. And unlike Syo, I’ll use your true alias. Thirteenth.” A tumbleweed passes behind them.
Thirteenth groans. “Fine. Fine. I’ll talk. As you can see, the real Xiao is long gone. When I came into this world, I merely reprised his identity. You know. Absorbed his memories, dreams, goals, and aspirations. Sorta how you two are here.” He squints. “Actually, you two didn’t overtake an individual. Did you?”
Syo and Tenth remain silent.
“Tsk. Tsk. You judge me for looking down at the denizens of the world, but you refuse to live as one. Hypocrites.”
Tenth speaks with crossed arms. “Enough sidetracking. Tell us more about Xiao.”
Thirteenth pouts. “Alright. Alright. I’ll play along with your script, you cheaters.” Thirteenth explains Xiao’s life and the history of the Coven. He explains what he discovered about [MC NAME]. He sighs. “Now, can you let me go?”
Syo and Tenth release Thirteenth. Thirteenth digs through Xiao’s satchel and pulls out an ornate tea set. He lights a small fire and starts to brew some tea. Could these two be more polite? He sighs as he dusts a boulder and sits on it. “Damn Xiao. I ended up inheriting his addiction to tea. Better than the usual dog food.”
Syo sits across from Xiao. The embers glow against his skin. “ Probably because you generally don’t choose to be a human.”
“And why would I? If you had my abilities, you’d find being a fox or a crow much more enjoyable.”
Tenth crouches near Syo and whispers. “Do you think it’s a genuine coincidence we encountered Thirteenth?” Syo studies Thirteenth. Impossible to read his Contract. Perhaps he’ll have to try…he flinches at the sudden throb of pain.
Thirteenth wags his finger. “Naughty Sixth. Trying to use your cheating powers. But it looks like you’ve used it too many times. Not that it’d work either way. Boop.” He taps Sixth’s nose.
Thirteenth is right. Syo was always able to read the others with his Property, but with Thirteenth, it constantly shifted. Unreadable. He contemplated. Should he kill Thirteenth here and now?
Nobody would find the body. Tenth would most likely help. But with Thirteenth outside of this world, he couldn’t keep an eye on him. Not only that, Thirteenth’s payback could be a nuisance. Better not to declare war and remain ambiguous.
Thirteenth hands Syo a cup of tea. “Now, Sixth. I can take a gander at why you took in a rag-tag of humans with you. You have a mission that doesn’t let you handle it yourself. Perhaps, you need a pawn to do the work for you. Is that the condition?”
Syo tightens his grip around the scalding cup. Pawn. He still despised that term. He tries to maintain his cool. “None of your business.”
“So I was correct, or something along the lines of that. Tell you what, I’m feeling generous. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you on a mission. So I’ll help you out…in my own way.” That’s never a good sign when Thirteenth says it like that.
Syo scratches his hair and sloshes around the tea. He shrugs. “Do whatever you want? Or at least, what Xiao would do before this conversation.”
“You know me, I love to be an actor. Hmmm, let’s see. I suppose Xiao would wander off on his own and try to find his Coven. Thing is, what are Syo and Tenth supposed to do in this situation?”
Tenth speaks. “We would detain Xiao or at least send him to the Organization for further questioning.”
Thirteenth snaps his finger. “Bingo, but there’s a twist because—”
Syo finishes. “Because Xiao would sense our intent and run off before we even realized it.”
“Agh! There it is. But what’s this? Xiao is now having tea and giving spoilers to the two of you.” He smacks his head with a playful attitude. “The script is ruined. What a shame!” A silent chill fills the air.
Syo and Tenth look at each other. What should they do? Do they let ‘Xiao’ go? Or do they detain him? At this point, ‘Xiao’ is a wild card. A future friend or foe? And that’s with the assumption that Thirteenth plays into the role. Knowing him, he’d prance off doing who knows what. But the same could be said for the two of them. The heat of the fire burns brighter and brighter.
Syo presses the tips of his fingers. “Alright. Here’s what we’re going to do.”
Ib hums as [he/she] flips through the clipboard. [He/She] sighs and slides it on across the desk. “So the fusions didn’t work?”The masked scientist shakes his head. “I’m afraid not.”
Contrary to initial thoughts, this space Ib resides in is well-lit. Too sterile as a matter of fact. Fluorescent light beams against the white walls and floors of the room.
[He/She] rubs [his/her] temples. “Run another batch of tests for me. This time do background checks for each subject. I want to know how each of them died. Economic status. Whether they found love. Everything. And throw out the corpses.”
The masked scientist raises his gloved hand. “If I may suggest something, perhaps we should focus our research on something else. Faust proposed—”
“Henry.”
Henry speaks carefully. “Yes.”
“Who do you work for?”
“You. Boss.”
“Yes, so why are you suggesting research from another person?” The thought of Faust made Ib’s blood tick. Who does that faceless man think he is? Waltzing in. Acting like he knew everything. “Remember who kept your mother alive after all this time, Henry.” Ib stands up from his/her plain office chair and snakes around the masked scientist.
Henry clicks the pen in his hand nervously. “I do. And I’m grateful for it.”
Ib rests [his/her] hands on the man’s shoulders with a tilted smile. Henry flinches against Ib’s cold fingers. “That’s right. Stage four. I make sure to take good care to notice everyone who works around me. My parasite has been tirelessly holding it off. It’s one of the reasons why I wake up with a slight headache every morning. One snap and those headaches go away. But we both know what that means.”
Henry gulps and speaks submissively. “I’ll run another batch of tests.”
Ib nods. “Wonderful. You may leave now.” The door quietly closes after Henry leaves. Ib sighs loudly. Then [he/she] thinks of [MC NAME}. The thought of [MC NAME] fills Ib with great ecstasy. The rage [he/she/they] felt when Ib talked [him/her/them] through Axel. Wondrous. A cool breeze in a hot desert. That’s the fleeting joy that Ib chased.
“I can’t wait to see the person you become when we meet, [MC NAME].”
After that the story would end there, please let me know if there’s anything else I missed 
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I love the updates now you can play as Apollo wow keep up the great work 
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Thank you! Yes, and I hope you enjoy the two new companions introduced for that route!
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Your welcome and I loved it all even the different POVS from other characters
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I just wanna bang Ib and kill her as well
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ohh!! update, nice~ i remember stumbling on this with only the prologue so i’m happy to have found it again! except… that AA route had me curious so ofc i played that and that wasn’t right for my heart?? like. hm.
spoilers???
the fact that A’s first reaction after that mess was death? the fact that A desired so damn hard that a whole ass quest was made just to revive MC?(the snow white-esque made me giggle tho) i’m sorry but after reading all of that i cannot in good conscious romance any of the other ro’s. A is my #1 and forever, i’d rather be tortured by their memory than seek to heal. i love it, it made me so upset (in a good way)
but yeah-! got sidetracked with that lol and i had to comment on it bc yes. so now i’ll go play once more! thank you very much for your hard work, looking forward to what else you got in store
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