Becoming Guardian (WIP) - Updated 03/21/2020

A good second chapter, the thing I like is that the interactions are realistic. But given that it’s way too short, and the actual crux of the story hasn’t set in yet, I’m assuming that the first two chapters are just part of the prologue of the finalized version. It gives me the vibe that the story is gonna be a long read … pretty cool with me. I really don’t appreciate short stories where you come, you see, and… you can do whatever you like… not my type.
Personally, I actually am a bit partial to the “hey, just called you to inform that your friend, the black sheep of my family, is, well,you know…” storyline. I am eagerly anticipating the conflict that will play out between the MC and the family of the deceased friend… It’s kind of “a child, a child, my kingdom for a child” feeling…
But Sam, the winner of the popular vote is actually pretty OK… I can see why she won it.
Uh, it’s lunch time…gotta go.

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Errors

The third looks to be in her early thirties. His features are relatively plain; light brown hair, brown eyes, no stubbe. He wears a plain white dress and slacks. Shaking your hand he says, "Hi, I’m Bill. From accounting.

It’s nice to meet knew people, especially ones who make good conversation

New

Before you stands Raymond Sikhar, you’re old supervisor from when you had done your internship.

your

“But, a bunch of us are going out to trivia night at the Scarlet Rooster as seven, you should join us.”

at

page_break You arrive at the cafe just before seven o’clock.

It didn’t break :laughing:

I don’t think anyone’s holding that loss again you, don’t sweat it." Ray says with a laugh.

against

Pretty much. I’m pound in that base with a sledge hammer :stuck_out_tongue:

Conflict, oh the conflict will be oodles of fun. For me, anyway. Maybe not for anyone reading :blush:

@AmericanShakespeare

Thanks for catching all that! I’ll be making the edits asap!

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I’m not sure if anyone asked this before, but is the baby’s absent biological parent going to be important in the story?

I’m very excited to read more btw!

@Red_Eyes At this point there is no plan to have the other parent play a large role in the over all story. They might pop up. Actually, it’s likely they will but they aren’t a driving factor to the over all story as of right now.

Glad you like the story so far :slight_smile:

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Hello! I know it’s been a while since my last update. The next chapter is still in the works for now and who knows when I’ll be satisfied with it. I don’t know how this story became as big of a project as it has but oh well. It’s a lot of fun giving these characters their own vibes and voices, side characters included, which is probably why it’s taking me forever.

Anywho, the real reason I’m here was to show off this (not so) fancy new tumblr I made for my writing projects. You can check it out here if you’re interested. I plan to post updates, character pieces, character details, etc, etc. Y’know the works. But also, if you have any questions regarding the characters or story you can feel free to ask there.

I also just posted an edit for the four ROs in Sam’s route. I’m no photoshop wiz so it’s pretty basic but if you ever wondered how Imagined the characters to look, you now know. I’ll probably to another later on for some of the side characters you may or may not have met yet, who knows. :stuck_out_tongue:

TLDR: Made an update blog lol

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Keep it up my friend the story is super interesting can’t wait to see what comes next

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What are some things people would like to see in this story? I know there is an interest to have your own children. But are there other elements or plots that anyone is hoping for within the story?

Also, quick poll. Should I change the age of Sam/Aaron’s child in the Jamie and Katie routes? The MC’s age changes depending on the route (can be seen in stats) to fit certain plots better. In Katie and Jamie’s route the MC is 25. Sam’s route the MC is 22 and Aaron’s has the MC at 23. Would people like to see the child be aged up a bit in the Jamie amd Katie routes? Or would the child being a baby be preferable?

  • Age the child up
  • Leave the child as a baby

0 voters

Age the baby up in the other route.

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When we say age up, what age would you consider to change it up too?

My concern with aging the child up is that you will likely have to have “trying to comfort and support a confused and grieving child while grieving yourself” as a major plot element. I don’t see how you can skip over it and not have it seem unrealistic or the MC seem cold, and it would be tricky to get right. It’s not a one-conversation kind of situation; grief- both the MCs and the child’s- will be a recurring thing. If that’s the kind of story you want to write, go for it, but that is likely to color the story you end up with.

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Aging the baby up would be a good idea.

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Yeah I wanna see the child we raise grow

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I was thinking of having the child be two/three.

Grief would be a reoccurring theme in the story either way. The story is going to cover a few years it would be a bigger focus in the beginning than it would be by the end.

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Got this question over on tumblr and figured I would post it here for others in case anyone else was curious. P much someone wanted to know how the others fit into the story over all. Idk if I answered this question as clearly as I could have but hopefully I make some kind of sense.

https://ldswrites.tumblr.com/post/173051336296/just-curious-how-do-the-other-characters-play-into

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Not sure if this has been asked yet, but can you interact with the siblings, like Katie, in the parent’s route? Like will Katie be a major character in the Sam route as well? Also, will some ROs appear in multiple story lines?

I don’t plan to have Katie play a large role in Sam’s story. I don’t think you’ll really get to meet her family. Sam likes to keep her family far, far away from her. It isn’t a relationship she intends to repair or move forward with. Her family influences the story largely from a distance which really makes the mc realize how little you know about Sam’s life before you met her.

Mild spoilery example

The MC has been friends with Sam since the age of 18 yet doesn’t even know where she lived before starting university

They’ll appear in other storylines, yes. You won’t be able to romance them but they won’t disappear from existence either. :slight_smile:

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Heyo folks!

The demo has been updated to include chapter 3.

Play Here

Right now you can only play the portion involving Sam as I decided to rewrite some of the scenes involving Ray. Ray’s scenes will be be the next update and then eventually I’ll finish the option to just do your own thing in chapter 3.

As always, if youo have any questions, comments, or concerns feel free to leave them here or drop me an ask on the update blog. If you come across any errors or typos, please let me know!

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First time I try to tease Sam, it says something is wrong with the variable ‘comedic’

Also. This:

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In the book shop it won’t let me continue and says something about the comedic variable again, also…

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