From my understanding you raise two broader issues in your post. First, you state there is a lack of struggle in games that fail to reflect real life. And secondly, that characters seem to be superficial. I cannot say much for the latter without examples - do share them, I’d be happy to discuss it more
But because of that, I’ll only add something to the first part, particularly about romance:
I’ve seen it come up a lot how romance and sexuality should be dealt with in stories. I always feel like, in the end, the vague answer is “Every author can decide for themself”. Like @hotmess.exe explained, this forum (and many games) are very open-minded and inclusive which is why there’s a tendency to ignore issues that people might face in real life, or rather, a world is created where these issues don’t exist. Which is why, as you point out, games lack conflict in regarding to their gender, race, class etc.
And, to be honest, I see a lot of value in that.
People who have little contact with LGBT+ people might make their first experience on this forum or through these games. Seeing it as something normal that doesn’t need to be questioned helps a lot, in my opinion. This applies to many, including people who might come to terms with their sexuality through a story, as well as people who are comfortable with their gender, but have simply never encountered non-binary people in real life. To give you more context: there aren’t even any non-binary pronouns in my language, so I first learned about other gender pronouns in the game VERSUS.
So, yes, all this might be described as escapism. Or: fiction influences the world around us and it can make it better. By presenting a world without these struggles, we can take a step towards them by familiarizing ourselves with those concepts.
Naturally, romance was just a little part of your original post. But I think my example can be expanded to your statements about class and race.
Also, this post doesn’t reflect my full opinion. However: it’s an important aspect to be considered when saying games lack struggles.