Back to Donkey Island (WIP)_updated Nov_19_2020


Hi everybody! :slightly_smiling_face:

I’m working hard on my very first game named Back to Donkey Island!. In it, you play as Gaya; a cursed aristocrat who suddenly wakes in her pirate grandfather’s body on the day of her royal marriage!
To lift this nasty curse and get her former life back, she must abandon her luxurious life and walk the pirate path she despises so much. Following a Voodoo Witch advice, she will become the leader of an incredibly odd crew: a gorilla gentleman, an undead rocker, a fast-aging Voodoo crone, and a ridiculous spokesman. Every single member has a story, and their experiences/interactions will help Gaya determine her final, true self.
Little by little, she’ll discover the truth about her hated grandfather, her life goals, and she will finally become her true self. Actually, she starts as a cursed lady in the body of a man she despises but through her actions and NPC interactions, the reader will decide the main character’s true self.
Inspired by the Monkey Island and the Pirates of the Caribbean franchises, this is a pirate-themed, hilarious adventure where you will face many funny challenges, for example: Insult Sword Fighting, Grog drinking contests, etc.

It’s currently about (30% done, 4 Chapters, about 30K words), and I plan on updating every 2 weeks (hopefully!)

To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/go/7045

Thank you in advance for your feedback. :slightly_smiling_face:
This is my very first time, so please be patient, but at the same time, don’t hold back! I’m looking forward to hearing from you about how I can improve the game. :muscle:

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Just a heads up, the game went into infinite loading for me just as the four characters plus PC were going into another room to meet with the Voodoo Lady - not sure if that’s where the demo was meant to end or not. I’m liking what I’ve seen so far though!

Ran back through to get a screencap of it, it crashed right here…

asdf

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Thank you, I’m going to check it. :slightly_smiling_face:

Just fixed it: I capitalized in a wrong way the 2nd file :slightly_smiling_face:

It should work now

Make sure your scenes are listed in your startup. I’ll have to check it out a bit later but looks interesting.

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Thank you, @Zakle, for your feedback.

Actually, I had listed the scene correctly, but alas with a wrong capitalization.
Everything should work now: I played it until the (provisionary) end.

Looking forward to hearing your opinion :slightly_smiling_face:

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All right, that fixed it! Let’s see here…

All told, I’m pretty happy with the story so far! It’s got a great goofy charm to it that’s working fairly well for me. I’m not familiar with the actual Monkey Island games so I can’t speak to how it compares, but whatever it is I think it’s fun. I’m liking the crew, and generally happy with the choices presented. The mojo mechanic seems pretty cool so far as well, I’m curious to see how badly I’ll end up managing that resource later :sweat_smile:

On the critical side, I didn’t have any issues with the content, but I found the formatting made it difficult to read. I checked up on a few other WIPs around to see if I could figure out why, and I think the main issue for me is spacing between paragraphs - I’m used to there being a line between them (like how they look in our posts here), but the paragraphs were immediately up against each other which made it harder for me to keep track of where I was in the text. I also felt like there were too many italicized and bolded words/phrases in the first chapter, but that leveled off pretty well in the later two and I understand if that’s just a stylistic thing (especially if it’s intending to mimic what the games do) and wasn’t a big deal overall.

That’s what I’ve got for now, so feel free to take or leave whatever’s useful for you. I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes. :slight_smile:

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“Hello. I’m Guybrush Threepwood Gaya Brushwood - a mighty pirate! -, who are you?”

This game oozes mojo and an obvious love for the material that directly inspired it. I can’t wait to see how it develops.

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I loooooove the Monkey Island franchise!!! I will track this one for sure, good luck! :heart_eyes:

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Is the gender-choice tag here by mistake, or can the mc actually realise later on that they are actually male and maybe even decide to keep the male body?

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I’m also confused?

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You had me at insult sword fighting! I love Monkey Island!!! :monkey_face:

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Thank you, everyone, for your feedback! :love_letter:

@Jayffel thank you very much for the formatting feedback. I’ll improve it in the next update for sure.

@idonotlikeusernames and @TheOfficer thank you very much for asking. I’m trying to do something “different” from the usual “I choose my gender/orientation at the start.” What I’d like to do is starting with a “confused” main character (the wannabe princess Gaya in a pirate body) that “decides” who she will become during this story. If the tags I used do not represent the story, please tell me, so I’ll change them accordingly. By the way, how does this kind of approach sound to you? How could I eventually improve it?

Thank you again, everybody, for your feedback and support. :muscle: I’m so glad I actually managed to create (so far) my first choice of Games story!
Your feedbacks galvanized me. Now I’m looking forward to developing it further :star_struck:

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Surprised it hasn’t been brought up yet, but:

This evidently isn’t a licensed Monkey Island game, but rather a fan work using the brand recognition of that franchise. The game stars a completely new main character (unless I’m mistaken), so why use a licensed property rather than create a similar, wholly original world that draws inspiration from the franchise rather than co-opts it for unlicensed use?

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Oh I think that premise is refreshing, so long as what they want to be in terms of gender is one of the choices along that path I have no problems with it and I think it would still fit the gender choice tag, so long as the realisation of his true gender doesn’t strike the mc five minutes before the end.
But having questions of identity woven throughout the story to provide the potentially more serious undertone to the lighthearted pirate fun can most definitely be a winner I think. So long as my mc can end up realising who he truly is along the way and start to live like it (in mine’s case a gay pirate prince, as sidenote pirates both in fiction and in in real life could be pretty damn fancy if they wanted to be) I think I would like that actually.

My bad I didn’t even realise, but, yes, I’d see little impediment to changing the title and inventing an original world for it as lighthearted pirate stories (with or without more serious undertones) are practically a staple of fiction and dear old granddad being a bumbling pirate with a wicked hot body (I hope :pleading_face: ) doesn’t have to be locked to any particular franchise.

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Promising story with entering Plots from your Mc I only barley know the mi key island story’s (Games) but 1 thing Bothers me:

YOU have this great atmosphere in the Voodo Hut but the voodo witch is not chanting or at least she does not much in these ritual only tell you the next steps it’s a tiny detail I missed But I hope I can help with that

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Hi everybody!

@will and @idonotlikeusernames I am open to any suggestion about not infringing any copyright.
I love the idea of making a tribute to the Monkey Island franchise and hinting to their atmosphere speeds up the description of what this book is about. Look at the cover for example, it’s original work inspired by the franchise.

So, for copyright sake I changed all names but I left a lot of Easter eggs for the fans like me.
I am ready to do any necessary change (for example, the title) to avoid copyright infringement but alas I am no law expert. I would sincerely appreciate any suggestion on that side.

Thank you everybody for you precious feedback, I really appreciate it. :heavy_heart_exclamation:

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Hi everyone!
Today, I updated the files! I’m so happy I reached 20K words and my 4th chapter! Following @will and many others’ advice, I changed the title to “Back to Donkey Island.” It sounds even funnier to me. How do you like the game so far? Any more suggestions? Is my English passable?

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Hi everybody! :slight_smile:
Big news today! I just finished chapter 4 and I’m starting chapter 5!
Let me know if the Wheel of Fortune works!
Introducing 4 new NPCs: Ollie the Cartographer, his daughter Fiery Anna (always ready for a good sword fight), the little kid Candy and the Penguin, the shady spinner of the Wheel of Fortune.

I hope you like them!

Let me know what you think and how I could improve!

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