Awoken (Fantasy WIP) - updated 16/May/2017

Another (smallish) update, with the start of Chapter Four before you get into the next memory section. I thought you might like to get the chance to get some answers out of Stranger.
(and by answers, I mean answers and sarcasm. Mostly sarcasm)

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If you choose to try to open the iron door, than select a weapon, and than read the books, you get three choices before Stranger comes back, yet for every other combo(I’ve tried) you only get two choices. Also, now someone’s gonna post a combo joke…or maybe a meme.

Strange dreams fill your sleep, so much so that when you awake it is with a sort of terror, momentarily unable to recall where - or when - you are. Your searching eyes meet the weapon racks, the shelves of books, and you relax a little.

A rustling noise. The stranger is sprawled in the armchair in the kind of pose that should be extremely undignified but they almost manage to make look elegant. Glowing eyes catch yours over the page of the book they’re reading.

“Finally. It’s been hours.”

The sentence sounds better with the so in front of much eliminated, and awake should be wake. Also, @LordofLA, should the it’s in the last sentence be its or it’s?

"Two hundred years ago, this was the home of a hermit with a talent for magic. Apparently he spent most of his life creating the Well - for what reason no-one knows.

Sentence would flow better with a comma after reason.

"Good question. And an answer that was always rather debated. The only people who ever saw that particular stone were you and the other children, and none of you were exactly experts on the matter. The explanation your teachers came up with, the commonly accepted one, was that it was merely a sourcestone containing an unusual amount of magical charge.

Tense switching: rather is present wheras debated is past, so eliminate rather to make the whole paragraph past tense. Also, most commonly is better than commonly.

Aha, that’s because there’s a “>” where there should be a “>=”

I’m not sure “Strange dreams fill your sleep, much so that…” makes sense, though. (I’ll give you ‘wake’ instead of ‘awake’ though - obviously the word ‘awoken’ and its variants is just burned into my mind now.)

“It’s been hours” = “It has been hours” :smile:

Actually, its “Strange dreams fill your sleep, so much that…”

Is what it should be.

Should be it’s though :stuck_out_tongue:

Then not than :stuck_out_tongue:

Where did you learn to English?

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Where did you learn to write?

fight, fight, fight! :stuck_out_tongue:

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The funny thing is, everyone thinks we’re fighting, but we both are just messing around. Are our posts that…negative?

School around the age of 5. Prefer typing, easier to read than my handwriting :blush:

Also fixed my post to correct the second “it’s” occurance.

If I was being aggressive it’d be obvious. As in “moderators deleting posts and asking me to find another forum” obvious.

That said I do like waiting for you to post your correction suggestions so I can do less work and just correct you instead :grin:

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Really? I was going to wait for you to do corrections, than do mine and point out everything you missed and laugh in your face.

There would never be any posts then :laughing:

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There would never be any lies.

4 chapters?! I think the chapters seem a bit short, or it might be my super fast reading.

Could be both, though I’ve read books where a chapter was all of one page :smiley:

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I suppose they’re on the short side, but that’s just how the events so far seemed to break up. They’re definitely going to get longer though, because we’re getting to the good stuff!

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