Awoken (Fantasy WIP) - updated 16/May/2017

Judging you…

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I really love this story. About how old is the MC in the present time?

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I think they’d be about mid/late twenties. I left the exact ages vague to give some headcanon wriggle room.
And thankyou!

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Popping in to say update possibly tomorrow? I’m down to the ending of just one branch to finish off the present section.

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And we have an update! The rest of the present, plus a bit of the next memory. I’ve also added in a skip to chapter system because it’s getting a bit long to play from the beginning every time. You get a few questions to set the important stats, but you will miss out on some of the more subtle ones.

The coding got a bit hairy on this one - I think I got all the bugs but please say if there’s anywhere where the scene doesn’t seem to flow right. Any other comments, questions, thrown vegetables, let me know :smiley:

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A quick play-through since I am off for a bit now - must say I like it indeed. Nicely done. :relaxed:

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I also enjoyed the update. I like getting to know the Stranger better, helping the rebels, and connecting with my aprentice. The pace is good, not so fast so I feel like stuff is missing and not so slow I feel bored. I’m excited to see what happens next :grin:

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Just want to say that this is spectacular. You have a great writing style, and right from the start, the story’s interesting, and exciting. Something I definitely want to keep reading.

Characters are always my favorite part of a story, and yours are no exception. I especially enjoy Silver’s dialogue. Honestly, they’re my favorite character, and I hope they’ll stick around. Mara and Cren are very likable, too.

As for the apprentices, I’m more inclined to Aden, only because he methods aren’t as…heavy-handed? Though I get the feeling that, despite drastically different personalities, they play a very similar role. This is not at all a complaint, just an observation.

That’s all I have for now. The choices are great, and I have yet to stumble across any bugs.

By the way, has anyone mentioned how awesome that drawing is, yet? Because it’s very awesome.

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@qpinskey Thanks! I admit I get a bit worried about the pacing, so it’s good to know.

@Grey : Aw, thanks! :blush: And yeah, Malina and Aden are funny, because the apprentice was originally going to be one character that could be genderswapped, but then I thought, hey, what if there was more of a choice between them? And then they sort of turned into two completely different characters. :smiley: They do play more or less the same role in the story, but they will react to things and to the MC in different ways.

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I’m actually surprised (pleased, but surprised) that everyone seems to like Stranger. I figured players would be more annoyed about them messing the MC around. That’s why I put in options to be hostile because I didn’t want to make them a character you’re forced to like.

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I have a feeling that i know who is the Protector. But i am not sure yet.

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Yes, there’s a few clues! :laughing:

Aside from rage and killing intent i am quite proud!:smile:

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Aw yis, I got some flirts with my man Cren.

He’s adorable! Already my favorite character!

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@Dreadlord: it might not be what it seems! or it might be

@DarthDovahkin: The MC’s blatant flirting is fun to write :smile:

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It’s fun to read, too.

Nice! Like the humor and option to flirt with almost everyone. ;D Keep up the good work!

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(Stranger’s reactions to hostility are entertaining.)

There’s a minor continuity error I found. Not sure if it requires spoiler tags or not, but, [spoiler]if you attempt to escape, then after the Memory Well scene, when you wake up and talk to Stranger, asking him about the Scouts results in you mentioning “that girl in the woods” saying something about the Protector.

This happens, even if you choose to avoid her.[/spoiler]

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Stranger’s not getting paid enough for this!

Thanks for spotting that; I think at the moment there’s just one switch for meeting her, so I should tweak it a bit.

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The best line of code yet:

*selectable_if (pet=“bear”) #Bear attack!

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