Awoken (Fantasy WIP) - updated 16/May/2017

juviolsnow · 2017-02-27T01:34:33.360Z

Love this story! Cannot wait for updates. One thing that is a little confusing is the dream sequence with Silver and Aden. When he is called “stranger,” I didn’t understand that was Silver- may be just me but a simple clarification may help.

Sammysam · 2017-02-27T02:03:45.821Z

Well…Silver is called Stranger in the beginning. I think we only get to know their other nickname by talking with Mara if we chose the right option and I think the name even then gets only really used after you “rescue” them…so it’s actually pretty consistently to call them Stranger during the dream…

juviolsnow · 2017-02-27T03:02:57.960Z

Yeah, I get it. Just in the version I went through Mara called him Silver before the dream sequence so I assumed that a new stranger was presented there. Just some food for thought.

Sammysam · 2017-02-27T03:25:09.948Z

But you may have a point here. On the other side the MC only switches to Silver after asking themself about it I think… (well, actually I’m not even sure MC starts to call them Silver to be completely honest…)

I also think that Stranger is no he…they pretty much go by they/them the whole time…

HomingPidgeon · 2017-02-27T04:03:03.147Z

Yeah, Silver is a they/them. I’m not sure what dream sequence you’re talking about, but were they just called stranger or was it “the stranger”? Because I always associate the “the” with that specific stranger, even after they’ve sort of begun to be referred to as Silver, and I think that’s what the narration is going for

Scribblesome · 2017-02-27T07:49:22.348Z

Mara will refer to the stranger as “Silver” before the dream if you decide to tell her and Cren who you’re looling for, but the MC only starts referring to them as Silver once you reunite. I thought calling them Silver in the dream when that name had only been mentioned once before might be more confusing.

Scribblesome · 2017-02-28T22:09:17.815Z

I’ve been abandoning Awoken a bit recently! I’ve got to tidy up the parts of various dialogues before I can update. I … hope you want to know stuff about Maltheran nobility, guys.

Also, did a few little scenes as practice/character building, so have a vignette.

Mara's first meeting with Silver. Slight spoilers for some stuff about Mara, but you don't have the right context yet for it to be really spoilery.

–
The last of the sun had dipped below the treetops and the surrounding forest, already filled with ominous shadows, was sinking into a nightmare gloom. A gloom no doubt filled with wolves and bears and Goddess knew what else that would prey on a lone idiot out in the woods alone. Had she completely lost her mind, agreeing to this? Meet a contact, alone, out in the cold dark forest - even a half-wit would have been more suspicious.

Yes, send her out on a hunt for nothing, and if - when - she never made it back … oh dear, poor Mara, what a shame. Oh well.

But they wouldn’t be that petty, would they? Vin may not like her, probably never would, but the group still needed her, right?

Screw them. She could climb a tree, wait there until daybreak, then find her way out. She had her bow. She’d been in worse situations. Well, differently bad situations.

And then, from above, someone spoke, and she only kept from screaming by clenching her jaw so tight it hurt.

“So, whose bad side did you get on?”

Mara spun around, trying to make out the speaker among the tangled mass of branches overhead. “Who’s there?” she demanded, trying to keep her voice steady.

A heavy thump, and a dark-clad figure rising to a standing position. “I mean, I doubt you volunteered.”

Without warning, the space between them was filled with blazing light. Mara had to shield her eyes until they adjusted to the source of the glare - a ball of light, floating unsupported in mid-air and giving off an eerie blue-green glow. Magic. So maybe that explained some of the secrecy.

“You’re a -” she began, and then she catches sight of the speaker and suddenly didn’t know how to finish the sentence any more.

He - they? it? - looked at her, with eyes that glowed the same unworldly colour as the magic light overhead. No pupils, just unbroken circles set in darkness. And the rest - the hair like molten silver, the skin that seemed to shine like it had been painted with metal. The teeth, pointed like a cat; biting, cutting teeth.

Mara found her hand resting on the hilt of her knife, although what good did she think that would do? Her mind ran frantically through everything she knew about magic, every story, every wild rumour, and came up blank. This wasn’t something from the real world - this was something from a fable.

“Well, you haven’t run off screaming yet, that’s one up on most of Vin’s superstitious bunch.” The person began to walk around her in a circle. Mara, every nerve on edge, couldn’t help but notice the fluidity of its - their - motions, like the hunting prowl of a cat.

Her lungs didn’t seem to want to work, but Mara took in a shuddering breath. Focus. Think. This didn’t seem to be an attack, did it? “Y-you’re Vin’s contact?”

“Mmmm.” They completed their circuit, coming around to face her again. “Was it Vin? The person you’ve so obviously displeased?”

With the initial shock subsiding, better-trained parts of her mind were coming to the fore, providing their observations. The voice had an unmistakably Northern Terrik accent, though well-spoken, well-educated. And the sly grin on their face, the way those eyes watched her, finding entertainment in her discomfort - she’d seen that before, maybe not on a face this strange, but she’d seen it. Intelligent and arrogant, so often a bad combination.

“Vin sent me here to meet with you,” she said carefully, and she was going to have words with Vin when they met again. No wonder all her questions about who exactly she was supposed to be meeting had been brushed aside with a grimace and a ‘you’ll see when you get there’. With, of course, the unspoken addition of ‘now get out of my sight’ that always came with her conversations with Vin.

“And what exactly has Vin sent? I did ask for someone sneaky, you know. How are you at picking locks?”

Huh. Had Vin sent her here out of more than sheer spite? “I have … certain skills.”

“A thief?”

“Yes.”

“And a liar,” they replied with amusement. She tensed again. Could those eyes see into her very mind? Could magic do that? Or was that supposed to be one of the things magic couldn’t do? She didn’t know much of anything about the limits of magic, and she’d never regretted it so much as right now. “Maybe you’ll be more fun than I thought.”

“What did Vin tell you about me?”

They snort. "Nothing. Which I gather is about as much as you were told about me. So what do they call you?”

“Mara.”

“Is that so?” A considering head tilt, and then they turn away. “You’ll do. Tell Vin that I am appeased, and may be gracious enough to help with whatever calamity has befallen you lot this week. I’ll give you more details of what I need later. Don’t have all the plan yet.”

“Wait!” she said as they turned away. Who knew if it was smart to push it, but she needed some answers. Not to mention that if they left now, she’d be back where she started – woods, cold, dark. Bears. “I – I don’t even know your name.”

“Good,” they said, and grinned.

“But how – who – what-?”

They made a ‘tsk’ noise. “There’s a question in there somewhere, isn’t there?” And in the blink of an eye they’re up close to her, giving her the full view of that unwavering stare. “So let me make this simple for you. I’m not going to tell you any more than I’ve told Vin. And, like Vin, you’re just going to have to put up with it, because at the moment you need me more than I need you.”

What had she got herself into? “But what should I call you?”

“You’ll think of something.”

She hurried after them. “If you want me to get a message to Vin, maybe you could help me find the way out of here?”

They stopped again, and she thought maybe this time there was some genuine surprise there. “No night vision, right,” they said after a pause. “Fine.”

And then light burst out from them, their burnished skin melted and flowed, and there was a wolf standing there. Which then spoke. “Are you always this jumpy? Come on, I don’t have all night.”

Edited because I noticed some tense jumping. It’s been too long since I’ve done past tense!

RETowers · 2017-05-15T14:23:32.016Z

Scribblesome · 2017-05-15T20:00:55.687Z

So, I told myself I’d get the update finished tonight, and then I wrote this instead It’s a followup to the Mara piece, which ended up being in first person because, well, Silver isn’t the name they call themself.

[details=Also with mention of female Vin since obscuring the pronouns was just too awkward.]
Mara keeps me waiting so long that I’m starting to draft emergency alternative plans. Maybe the disguise option could work. Of course, to anyone with magic sense I’ll be lit up like the moon on a clear night, but how many could there be? How many could I take?

Not a solution I want, but one I might be driven to if -

Finally! I can hear footsteps; moving at sluggish human pace, but light and sure. I stand up on the statue’s head, peering into the night. The monument is a poor meeting place really, too big, too well-known, but I had to make allowances for Mara.

There. She actually thinks to look up, so I circle round to land behind and shift. Petty, I know, but you’ve got to get your fun where you can find it.

“You took your time,” I say. Only a slight startle. Oh well.

“It was difficult to get in without being noticed,” she says. She looks tired, I think. But she’s reaching in to her pack. “I only got -”

“One book?” The older one, I can tell by the cover. “Where’s the other one?”

“It wasn’t there. I looked everywhere in the room, I swear. Nothing like the one you described. And I didn’t know where else to start looking.”

No, but I can guess who has it, and must be keeping it close. For a memento? A trophy? Considering that mess, both?

I take the book from her. Will this one be enough? It has most of what I need, after all – getting both was more for the surety. It has to be enough, right?

This one’s fragile, the leather binding cracked with age, the vellum browned and ink faded. I’ll have to be careful. I have the sudden image of those hands holding this book, wrapping it and putting it away with scholarly reverence. And at that thought I feel the sudden mad urge to throw it to the ground and stamp it into the dirt, and that thought triggers a warning twinge of pain. No self-sabotage allowed.

“Are you … all right?” says Mara, because right, she’s still here and I’ve been standing here silently talking to myself. That’s becoming a habit. Still, you can’t exactly blame me; I get so little else in the way of intelligent company.

“It’ll do,” I say, as much to myself as her.

Mara watches me, which is interesting in itself. She had the same first reaction as most do: the shock, the awe, the fear. But the next step is usually terrified wariness. The other rebels who see me shrink away from where I stand, crane their heads round to follow my movements as if they think I might explode. As if they think they could do anything if I did.

But she looks … not curious, exactly. Calculating, perhaps. As if she’s putting pieces together and wondering where I fit into the puzzle. She might be smarter than the rest – not that that’s any great accolade.

“Vin said that after this is done she wants to see you,” she says.

Vin says a lot of things, few of which are worth hearing. In this case though, she’s in luck, because I need to see her too. The next step’s going to be a tough sell, which is a pain because it’s vital. But who doesn’t want a wyvern, right? A great scaly noisy beast that drools poison and can eat its own weight in hard-earned meat?

I probably shouldn’t put it to Vin like that.

“Where’s the new place?” The leadership never stays in one place for too long. Got to keep that flame of rebellion alive.

“I can take you there.”

“Or you could just tell me.”

“If I do that, you’ll fly off and leave me here alone,” she says, eyes narrowing.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I protest. Blatant lie. So nice to have that option.

She’s not convinced. Considering my suspicions, she’s no stranger to blatant lies herself. “How far?” I sigh.
.[/details]

And on the subject of our favourite mysterious stranger, I got this commission done by Charles Tan:

408×528 19.3 KB

Mxm124 · 2017-05-15T21:17:41.985Z

Wait do we know silver’s gender? Or is it left ambiguous? I never realized I never knew till this picture. Which reminds me a lot of clay face from The Batman.

Scribblesome · 2017-05-15T21:19:38.883Z

Silver has no gender. Only sass.

Mxm124 · 2017-05-15T21:24:21.563Z

Ok gotcha ya. It’s just from my perspective Silver looks kinda feminine in that picture and that’s why I asked.

Scribblesome · 2017-05-15T21:25:50.564Z

No worries - they are supposed to be super androgynous, so probably right on the borderline of where people would assume masculine or feminine.

Toastno · 2017-05-15T23:38:12.652Z

I’m so glad this is back, this is my favorite WIP, also is the baron really going to be a romance option because I’m so down with that

PhoebePeak · 2017-05-16T00:20:15.364Z

Me: A picture of Silver? Pfft, how attractive could a magic robot man be?

sees picture *
Oh no, he’s hot!

HomingPidgeon · 2017-05-16T01:11:45.408Z

Careful not to misgender people, fictional characters included–it’s an easy mistake to make since the game is so casual about it, but Silver is gender neutral and uses they/them pronouns

PhoebePeak · 2017-05-16T01:24:27.195Z

I’m aware. I just see Silver as a dude and so refer to him as such outside of the game. I like to think it’s up to the player what to call them. Or maybe that’s just how I’m used to seeing gender-neutral characters in games. Like, Frisk from Undertale, I see Frisk as a girl, and refer to her as a girl. Or Niko from OneShot, I see Niko as male, so I refer to him as such.

HomingPidgeon · 2017-05-16T01:30:18.792Z

I haven’t seen OneShot so I can’t comment on that, but Frisk is an audience avatar and so it is up to the player how they’re called.

This isn’t really the thread for it so I won’t drag it out, but calling Silver by whatever gender you like is incorrect. Gender neutrality isn’t a placeholder for the player to put something better in, it’s a gender identity that should be respected same as any other gender identity. Saying that you think it should be up to anyone what they’re called when what they’re called is already defined is very offensive

PhoebePeak · 2017-05-16T01:36:16.843Z

I’m not trying to start any controversy, I just kinda automatically gave Silver a male voice in my head and just decided to roll with it, maybe because I’m straight and decided to try romancing them. And this whole ‘your not confined to one gender’ thing is kind of new to me, as I’m only 15, and are very limited in what I can experience and where I can go.

HomingPidgeon · 2017-05-16T01:45:08.990Z

That is all completely fair (although, completely unrelated to their gender, I should warn you that the author has stated Silver won’t be available as a romance, I think for reasons that will become clear later on)

I get that not everyone is familiar with this kind of thing. Thinking of Silver as more masculine than feminine is fine, as well as a voice headcanon, and I’m not trying to attack you at all. But going forward, this is still something you should know, especially on this forum where there are a lot of nonbinary people (including myself). It doesn’t matter what the pronouns are, if a character uses those pronouns, you should only use those pronouns to refer to them(/him/her/hir/whatever) with. It’s very rude to people who also use those pronouns if you treat them as interchangeable with binary ones–if someone said to you that they’d rather think of you as a man, I’m sure that would be very hurtful, and it’s the same to nonbinary people, especially given that we already have to fight to be seen as the genders we identify as. A mistake is perfectly fine and I absolutely understand making it, but just in the future be more aware of these issues, and if you come across any other characters or people that use they/them, don’t substitute that with anything else